


Bet on Me

by superwholockedin



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Basically, Blackmail, Bullying, But Ill warn you, Crying, Cutting, Depression, Family Issues, Homophobic Language, Hunk and Pidge are the best, Hurt/Comfort, I feel guilty now, I love all my readers, I need a hunk or pidge, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, Keith hates lance, Keiths past, Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt Friendship, Lance (Voltron) Has Anxiety, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Langst, Lotor also sucks, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mistakes, Misunderstandings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, Sexual Content, Sexual Harrassment, She's All That AU, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Trust Issues, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, Violence, Zarkon's a bad dude, after season 3, anger issues, bc im a sucker for happy endings, because everyone needs some, but he's not, but it may not be that slow, but she's not actually, comments inspire the author to write more, kangst, kinda slow burn, lance is a good big brother, lance seems obnoxious, like imma try, more anxiety attacks, pidge seems like a bad person, probably some triggering things, thank you so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-15 23:48:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 31
Words: 64,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11241819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superwholockedin/pseuds/superwholockedin
Summary: “You should teach him a lesson, knock him down a bit.” Pidge laughed, picking up her bag from where she had thrown it earlier."I bet you can't make him fall for you.""“How exactly is that gonna knock him off his high horse?”"When he falls for you, you just tell him you lied and show him what it’s like to be on the other side of the heartbreaks he causes everyone.”------Keith hates Lance because he walks around like he's better than everyone and he decides to teach him a lesson. Catching feelings was never a part of the plan.





	1. Chapter one *UPDATE*

Keith huffed, a cloud appearing in front of him in the cold air, as he watched the lanky boy point finger guns with a wink at the girls, who swooned immediately. He couldn’t hear what he or the girls were saying but he had that dumb smirk on his face that he always wore. Lance McClain. Infamous playboy who flirted with everyone, stringing them along, and breaking the heart of anybody who he pretended to be into. It annoyed everyone to the point of no return—especially Keith. How dare he walk around pretending he could see under everyone else’s masks and pretending he knew he was so much better than everyone else?

“—you even listening?” Pidge demanded, aggravated, her hand breaking through Keith’s field of view. Keith blinked and looked back at the smaller girl, trying desperately to remember what they’d been talking about. He remembered her rambling on about some robot named Rover or something--it would do tricks and record things and hack computers without Pidge actually being there. It sounded pretty cool, actually, but Keith’s attention had been drawn away.  

“O-of course…yeah. You were telling me about that thing you and Matt were working on.” Pidge smiled, nodding, and Keith silently applauded himself for getting away with--.

“Yeah…I was…10 minutes ago” _Oh._ She rolled her eyes, turning to face the direction Keith had been staring in a moment ago. “Oh, now it makes sense.” A knowing smile on her face as she peered up at Keith through her circular frames.

“W-what does that mean?” He retorted, suddenly annoyed that Pidge was making assumptions about something she didn’t know anything about. He crossed his arms defensively.

“Oh, nothing. Just your undying love for Lance McClain.” Pidge wiggled her eyebrows—a skill Keith had never understood how she had acquired.

“Ew. McClain? No, I’d rather die. It’s more like my undying hatred. Look at him, walking around like he’s better than everyone else. I don't get why all those girls trip over themselves to get to him. They know he'll break their hearts”

“You should teach him a lesson, knock him down a bit.” Pidge laughed, looking away from Keith now. She bent down quickly, picking up her bag from where she had thrown it earlier and throwing it over her shoulder.

“Oh yeah? Any suggestions?”

“I’ll do you one better. I bet you can’t make him fall for you.”

“And how exactly is that gonna knock him off his high horse?”

“Simple,” Pidge shrugged as though it was obvious, though, to Pidge hacking into the Pentagon seemed like busy work so. Keith wasn’t shocked. “You don’t have feelings for him. When he falls for you, you can just tell him you lied and show him what it’s like to be on the other side of the heartbreaks he causes everyone.” She smirked evilly.

It was cruel, Keith knew that, but maybe that’s what McClain needed. Maybe if he saw what it was like to be led on and lied to, he’d quit acting like he was the shit. Keith was by no means popular and knew that there was always the chance that McClain turned him down. Hell, Keith doesn’t even know if he swings that way.

“My dad’s here. You got a ride?” Pidge changed the topic quickly upon seeing the SUV pull up to the school. Keith made eye contact with Sam Holt and waved slightly at the man he’d known his life. Keith nodded and thanked her before she ran off, leaving Keith to think about her bet.

Keith shook his head, clearing the doubt out of his head. He already hated McClain so what difference would being rejected be? This is what McClain deserved and if it meant having to deal with his insufferable attitude for a little bit, it would be worth it.

Before he knew what he was doing, he was moving away from the wall he’d been leaning against and towards the skinny boy who was now talking to the other boy he always saw him with—Hunk? Keith is pretty sure that’s his name.

McClain said something that made the larger boy scrunch his face in disgust—of course, this is McClain we’re talking about here, it was probably something vulgar about getting laid or something—and then Hunk must’ve caught a glimpse of Keith moving towards them. He tipped his head towards Keith and McClain spun on his heel to see what his friend was gesturing to.

“Ah, Mullet Man!” McClain cheered once his eyes locked onto Keith. He had donned Keith with that nickname when they met in sixth grade. Keith had been new to the school and was in McClain’s science class. McClain had taken immediate interest in Keith—the new kid—and came over right away. He had asked Keith for his name and immediately after learning it, claiming that he liked to give people nicknames and stating that Keith’s new name would be Mullet. Keith had objected but McClain feigned deafness and said it was too late, the name would stick whether Keith liked it or not. Now, years later, he is still Mullet and he still hates it. Keith suppressed the urge to roll his eyes and instead plastered a small smile, that he hoped didn’t look like a grimace, on his face.

“Lance, hey. I wanted to talk to you” He paused, glancing at Hunk who was still hovering next to them. “Alone, if we could…”

McClain’s eyebrows scrunched together for a moment and then relaxed, his always present grin across his face as he turned to Hunk and said “Hey, buddy, can I meet you at our place in like 10?”

The bigger man nodded, leaning towards McClain, whispering something to Lance, and walking away. Keith saw him look back right before he disappeared around the corner. Once he knew Hunk was gone, he looked at McClain.

“So, what’s cookin’, good lookin’?” McClain winked at Keith and nearly collapsed onto the nearby bench, patting the seat next to him. His arms were sprawled greedily across the back of the whole bench. Keith slowly fell into the seat next to him.

“Uh…so we’ve known each other for a few years now…” Keith feigned nervousness easily, looking down at his hands and pulling at his fingers.

“Yeah…” McClain seemed to sense that Keith was trying to be serious and sat up a bit straighter. “Why?”

“Over that time…I haven’t been completely honest with you…” McClain’s eyebrows furrowed once more and he turned his body toward Keith, silently telling him to continue. “I….please don’t hate me…I like you….a lot. Like more than friends. I’m sorry if that freaks you out or if you don’t feel the same way—“ Keith looked away, to hide the fact that he wasn’t blushing but to make it seem like he was.

McClain was laughing. Laughing. Keith was (pretending) to pour his heart out to this boy and he was laughing at him. Keith’s anger must’ve shown because McClain had the decency to stifle his laughter and shake his head.

“I’m not---I’m not laughing at you.” _I’m sure…_ “I’m glad you told me it’s just I thought you were gonna say something way worse. Like I thought you were dying or something. Or the world was ending. Not that you like me. Not that I blame you I mean, just look at my face and body…” McClain began boasting about how great he was and how he could understand Keith’s crush on him. Once again, Keith had to keep from gagging and instead forcing a small laugh.

“Yeah…I guess I was a bit dramatic about it.” He forced a small smile. McClain laughed again, loud and obnoxiously—a lot like McClain. Finally, he contained his laughter and spoke again.

“So, you wanna go out? I’ll pick you up at 7, here’s my number, text me that it’s you and your address. I gotta go, things to see, people to do” _Typical_.

He flashed a smile and grabbed his bag, not even giving Keith time to answer him, before running in the direction Hunk had gone.

* * *

Hunk had turned to his phone after sitting under the tree for 5 minutes, the passing people had begun to think he was a terrorist or something, just sitting there with his bag and doing nothing. It was weird that Kogane had asked to speak to Lance in private, he never spoke to Lance, not since the time Lance had tried to make friends with him in biology class, joking about his Mullet, and the other boy had responded angrily rather than laughing. It took a while to figure this out but Lance was actually terrible at making friends simply because his jokes were not often perceived well. Many people thought Lance was a obnoxious, egotistical, heartbreaker--a slut as many people would label him--but once you got closer, you found out that he’s actually a funny, caring, pile of mush. When Lance finally found someone he cared about, Hunk had no doubt that he’d pour his whole heart and soul into them. It was something that Hunk loved about Lance but also the reason Hunk worried so much. He doesn’t want his best friend getting crushed because someone thought he was something he’s not.

Hunk started to worry a bit more after it was nearing 10 minutes and Lance had yet to return. He was about to pull up his messages when he heard footsteps and his best friend’s voice.

“Hunk!” He hollered, almost breathlessly. His backpack was thrown over his shoulder and a wide grin was planted on his face.

“Lance! I was starting to worry that Kogane kidnapped you or something” Hunk half joked, moving over a bit to let his friend sit.

“He could never take me, not when I got these guns” Lance huffed, falling next to his best friend, puffing his chest and flexing his basically non-existent bicep muscles.

“Yeah, how stupid of me” Hunk muttered sarcastically, then remembered the topic he should be focused on. “So, what’d Kogane want anyway?”

Lance let out a laugh that was 50% humor and 50% fear. _Oh, god._ “He told me he likes me.... We’re going out tonight”

“Is that a good idea?”

Hunk hated the thought of Lance going to meet Kogane and being stood up or worse being set up for someone’s sick prank. He didn’t know much about Kogane, but he did know that he didn’t have the best reputation of being kind to people. Especially people like Lance. Who talked a lot and who contained more energy than they could hold in.

“Pssh. Please, I can handle myself,... plus he seemed really sincere.” Lance shrugged, dragging one sneaker toe through the dirt under his feet.

Hunk wasn’t sure. Lance had envied Keith for most of the time they’d known each other, on multiple occasions Lance had complained that it was unfair that Keith made everything look so simple and cool. Lance would never and had never admitted it but Hunk had suspected that Lance might have had a small crush on the other boy. Lance claimed that it was simply envy over all the things Keith got--being top of his classes without trying and all--and Hunk pretended he didn’t see how crushed Lance had been when Keith had denied his attempts at friendship or how he looked over at Keith with more than jealously in his eye.

“If you say so…just be careful, okay Lance?”

“Hunk. My middle name is careful”

“Your middle name is Alejandro” Hunk laughed before moving onto a new topic—their algebra 2 teacher who had been making their lives hell for the past week. “Anyway, did you start the _witch’s_ homework yet? It makes no sense to me.”

* * *

 

“You did what?!” Pidge gasped as soon as the words left his mouth. She was perched up on his counter, her feet crossed under her and her laptop to her side. She had been working on some program or something--not school work (how she got any of it done was a mystery to Keith but somehow she maintained a steady A+ average even as a student who skipped 2 grades) before Keith had spilled the beans.

“I asked him out” Keith repeated with a shrug, a note of annoyance in his tone. He reached up to grab a box of crackers from the top shelf. “It was your idea”

“I was joking, Keith!”

“It was a good idea! You can’t get mad when I listen to you _and_ when I don’t” Keith defended, grabbing a cracker and shoving one into the younger one’s mouth. “Now shut up before I change the locks and don’t let you come here anymore”

She bit the cracker and grabbed the other end from her mouth. “Please!” she spoke around her chewing “Your parents and Shiro love me too much, they’d let me right back in.”

“You think so…” Keith rolled his eyes, taking a bite of his own cracker.

“Where is Shiro anyway?”

“Allura’s. He’s barely even here anymore” he shrugged, swallowing the remainder of his cracker.

“Awe, are you jealous that the pretty girl is stealing your friend?” She teased. She didn’t mean anything by it. She knew that Shiro was all that Keith really had--besides her--in the world and that suddenly not seeing him as often anymore must be strange.

“I don’t have friends, I have an annoying gremlin that follows me and eats my food and an guy who was forced to be my family” Keith hadn’t meant to sound bitter--he really hadn’t--but it sounded that way anyway.

“C’mon, let’s play some video games, Mr. Grump” Pidge jumped down from the counter. She knew just as well as Keith that emotions were not easy to deal with and that it was just better to change the subject. “And then you’re going to get ready for Lance because if you’re gonna win his heart, you’re gonna need to look better than that”

“Hey!”

* * *

Lance hadn’t meant to be, but he was nervous—not that anyone but him would ever know that. His hands were slightly wet with sweat as he adjusted the hem of his shirt once again. The anxiety of such a unfamiliar social setting was setting in. Everyone thought Lance went out with girls and guys all the time, that nerves were not a word he would associate with Lance and a date. Everyone was wrong. Lance had only been on a handful of dates, almost all of which had ended pretty terribly, and he’d never even kissed anyone before. It was actually pretty embarrassing, so Lance didn’t exactly go bragging about it. He was 17 years old and he hadn’t been kissed yet.

“You look great” Hunk reassured him again, sensing the nerves radiating off the boy, placing his hand on Lance’s shoulder.. Lance flashed his best friend a small, unconvinced, smile. Lance had gone with simple with a white shirt over blue jeans and his favorite jacket. Now, though, he was beginning to question if it was too simple.

“Are you—?”

“Yes, I’m sure. Now it’s 6:40 and you told Keith 7, so you need to leave. Now.” Hunk said as he physically pushed the smaller boy to the front door.

 

 

 

Lance took a deep breath as he opened his door and made his way to the front door. He stopped for a moment, his hand half raised to knock on the door and forced more air into his lungs before pushing his fist toward the wood.

The door swung open after a moment and Keith stood there, no smile on his face--not that Lance was shocked, Keith rarely smiled. So it totally didn’t give Lance more anxiety. Not at all.

“Hey, come on in.” Keith ushered him in.

Lance entered the house and watched as Keith twisted around to grab his cell phone and keys from the table. He was wearing a black tee shirt and black ripped jeans over black combat boots. He looked ~~hot~~ really nice.

“Hey.” Lance took a moment to regain his composure. If he hadn’t been nervous before, he was now. He had already felt severely under dressed and now, he felt even more out of his league. But he couldn’t let Keith know that. He immediately put on a smile and stepped in front of Keith, bowing slightly and grabbing Keith’s hand, bringing it to his lips and pressing a kiss to it. “You look amazing” He threw a quick wink before turning to the door and holding the already open door open for Keith to walk through. “After you”


	2. chapter two *UPDATED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:   
> Anxiety/Panic Attack

Keith resisted the urge to yank his hand from McClain’s grasp and even more so when he brought his lips down to Keith’s knuckles. Touch wasn’t exactly something he did and McClain’s careless action to just assume that touching him would be okay made him angry but he forced himself to take a breath and plaster a false smile on his lips.

“You look amazing” he spoke quietly. Keith didn’t know how to respond, so he simply offered the other another smile. Keith was no fashion expert, like even a little, but he knew the outfit Pidge had helped him pick out wasn’t terrible. He also couldn’t help but admit that McClain did look good too, wearing a white shirt that was loose but tight at the same time over blue jeans with that tattered, but somehow still good looking, army jacket he always wore. 

When Keith didn’t respond, McClain turned back to the door and gestured for Keith to go through it, while he  _ pointlessly  _ held the door open. “After you” He smiled. Keith just walked through and started down the stairs before remembering he was supposed to be wooing McClain. He spun on his heel and spoke:

“Thanks…” To which McClain shrugged and simply jogged down the steps to meet him at the bottom of the steps wordlessly. “So…, where’re we going?” McClain walked slightly ahead to get the passenger side door for Keith, who slipped into the silver car. It was a nice car, better than anything Keith could have afforded. This fact made Keith’s chest burn with anger for a moment. He hated that McClain had the money for such luxuries and that he knew he had more than everyone else. He hated the way he walked around like he was better than everyone just because he could deliver some one liners and drive around in a fancy car. Even though he’d been adopted by Shiro’s family at 12 years old, he knew that having a sudden increase in payments couldn’t be easy on them and he would never ask them to buy him such expensive items. Clearly, McClain did not share the sentiment.

“There’s this nice restaurant not too far, it’s beautiful and has great food.” McClain said, slipping into the driver’s seat. 

“You have your license, right?” Keith eyed the other boy, hesitantly. He’d never seen McClain actually drive and he didn’t exactly  _ trust  _ him to be a careful driver. 

“Please, my driving teacher called me the Tailor, because of how I  _ thread the needle _ .” McClain looked over at him and threw a smirk to Keith as he pulled out of the driveway, who rolled his eyes in a way that he hoped came off as jokingly.  _ There’s that ego again. There’s just no limit is there? _

_ “ _ Alright, just don’t kill us” he tried hard to keep the annoyance out of his tone, but McClain shut up at that so he is unsure how successful he was. Keith looked over at McClain from the corner of his eye, but the boy had moved to turn on the radio and had clearly moved on from his comment so Keith relaxed.

 

Keith rolled his eyes at Lance after his joke and Lance’s heart dropped to his stomach and his already high anxiety reached near breaking point. He hadn’t meant to ruin the date so early on. 

_ Stop being so cocky! No one likes that!  _ His mind shouted at him as he fought to keep a steady mask on his face. He reached forward to turn on the radio and pretended to fiddle with the radio stations in hopes that Keith didn’t notice the small slip of his mask. 

“ _ So,  _ what do you wanna listen to? Beyonce? Nicki?” He changed the subject rapidly.  _ Do what you do best, talk.  _

“Uh...I don’t really listen to any of that pop music…” Keith seemed to wince a bit in awkwardness. It was kinda cute when he did that. 

“Oh! That’s fine. What do you listen to, Mr. Edgy?” He chuckled and slightly nudged the other boy. 

“Uh...do you have any All Time Low?” Keith hesitated. 

“Here,” he took out his iPhone and handed it to Keith, “I have Apple Music, so just put in whatever you want and play it.”

“I can’t believe you’ve never listened to Beyonce! She’s like my _goddess!”_ McClain said as they pulled into the driveway of the restaurant. It was a nice looking place, not too expensive looking. Keith didn’t know if that meant McClain just didn’t want to put down too much money on their date or if he was going to make Keith pay and he didn’t want to leave him with a too expensive bill. Either way, he thought it was a little cheap. But Keith bit his tongue as they got out of the car and walked up to the front door, where McClain opened the door and ushered for Keith to go again.   
McClain waltzed up to the host and threw the young girl a blinding smile. “Hey. Is there any tables for 2 open?” He asked, leaning towards her over the podium. The girl giggled slightly. 

_ Is he flirting with her? While on a date with me? What the fuck?  _ Keith wasn’t jealous as much as he was infuriated. He knew McClain was annoying but to just flirt with someone else in front of his date? That’s a new low that Keith didn’t think he could reach. 

The girl giggled a bit and nodded, ushering them to a table near the back. “Your server will be right with you” She smiled before rushing back to the front of the restaurant. 

“So? How do you like the place?” 

“It’s nice, but looks expensive?” Keith forced himself to sound more concerned, even though he was a little bit. He didn’t want McClain skipping out and leaving him with a large bill--even if the place did look a bit cheap. Sometimes looks were deceiving. 

“Eh, it’s not that bad and don’t even worry your pretty little mullet about it. It’s my treat” 

Before Keith could even protest, a bubbly little girl rounded the corner and approached their table. “Hey guys, welcome! My name’s Liz. Is this your first time here?” 

“Yes” Both Keith and McClain answered at the same time. Keith was slightly taken aback but kept his mouth shut for the time being. 

Liz launched into her speech about the specials and whatnot that Keith completely missed. “So can I get you guys anything to drink while you look at the menu?”

“Coke for me” McClain spoke and then looked to Keith. 

“Uh, same here” he shrugged.

“Cool, be right back” She said walking away. 

McClain looked like he was about to speak but Keith beat him to it. 

“You brought us to a restaurant you’ve never been to before?” He didn’t know why but it felt weird to him. 

McClain avoided his eyes, suddenly extremely interested in the table’s placemat, and mumbled something. Keith was shocked. That was the quietest he’s ever heard McClain in the years they’ve known each other. 

“What?” Keith’s voice was a bit rougher than he meant it to be but it got McClain to speak up. 

“I don’t like to take my dates to the same restaurants, don’t want them to feel like they’re replacements or something” He shrugged. His mood did a sudden 360 and now he was eagerly looking through the menu, pointing to something and energetically talking about how good it looked. Keith wasn’t listening though, he was almost amazed at the sincerity of what McClain had just said. It seemed….too generous for someone like him. Players didn’t care about if they made their dates feel bad, not if it meant they could get with them. Must’ve been fake. To make Keith think he was more sincere than he actually is.  _ He’s good _ . 

“So, tell me about yourself!” McClain’s loud voice broke through his thoughts--again. “Have any siblings?”

“Yes….and no…” That was a complicated question that Keith didn’t like to answer. His answer always lead to more questions that he didn’t want to answer. He expected McClain to immediately stick his nose into his business and demand to know what that meant but McClain just nodded slowly and then started talking. 

“I have 3 sisters and 3 brothers,” Lance laughed, “it’s insane. Never a moment of silence in our house. My youngest sister is 11 and my oldest brother is 22. He’s not home as much anymore because of college but everyone else is still home. I’ll be the next to leave. That’s crazy, isn’t it?” McClain trailed off on his crazy rambling that made Keith want to stand up and leave. Of course he was turning the conversation to himself. But instead, Keith just bit his lip and listened. 

He knew he was rambling but he had seen the look of discomfort that had flashed across Keith’s face when he asked his question and knew that he had to change the subject. When Keith’s expression didn’t lighten up as he continued talking, he trailed off. There was a moment of--logically Lance knew it was silent to Keith because he  _ couldn’t hear Lance’s heart  _ threatening to burst out of his chest any moment--quiet. It was only interrupted by the return of Liz who placed their Coke’s on the table and asked if they’d had enough time to decide. 

After 2 hours, things had relaxed a significant amount. Keith had learned that McClain’s family owned a nearby supermarket. He had learned that McClain’s favorite food was pollo con arroz because his mother made them for him all the time when he was a kid. He learned that hearing stories about Lance’s family only made him more angry. Why was he rubbing it in? Like, we get it, you have a happy family! You can stop bragging! 

Admittedly, he hadn’t told Lance a whole lot about himself, mostly because he hated talking about himself, but also because he didn’t want to trust McClain with any more information than he needed to.

By the time McClain dropped him off at his house, he was exhausted with pretending to be starstruck for the other. He just wanted to go inside and sleep. But first, he had to fake that he had a great time, so that McClain would want another date. 

“I had a great time tonight. Dinner was amazing and I love hearing your stories.” He sent McClain another fake smile. “When can I see you again?”

“Just close your eyes and I’ll be there,” McClain’s instinct answered and Keith’s eyes nearly moved to the back of his skull on their own accord but he forced himself to chuckle. “But seriously, I can text you and we can figure it out.” 

“Sure. Thanks for a great date” he smiled, opening the door and stepping out. Once out of the car, he waved to McClain and moved to the house where, once inside, he let out a groan he’d been holding in the whole night.

 

 

 

\---

“That good huh?” Shiro smirked from where he was leaning against the kitchen doorway. 

“Did Pidge tell you?” Keith sighed, moving away from the door and into the kitchen to grab a water. 

“Obviously. She loves me.” he shrugged, turning to face Keith. “So, why the groan? Didn’t you ask _him_ out?”

Understanding washed over Keith. Pidge told Shiro that he asked Lance out, but not about the plan he had. 

“Well, yeah...but maybe I just thought he’d be  _ different  _ outside of school...but he’s the same egotistical maniac he always is.” Shiro didn’t say anything, clearly at a loss. Shiro was usually the one to give advice and a part of Keith had been hoping he’d provide him with advice on how to deal with McClain’s behavior. Accepting that that wasn’t going to happen, he sighed. “Allura here or…?” He trailed off. 

“Upstairs. She’s sleeping” 

“Oh…” Keith smirked knowingly. 

“No! No, none of that.” Shiro pretended to be disgusted, even though both of them knew that Keith knew he and Allura had slept together before. “She had a rough day, some fight with her dad. She didn’t want to be alone right now so I’m letting her crash here.” 

Shiro was a year older than Keith and attending college but had passed on rooming there because he knew it would mean an extra couple thousand dollars that his family didn’t have. Allura was his girlfriend of almost 2 years now and while she attended a different college and roomed there, their relationship was one of the most steady ones he’s ever seen in his life. 

Shiro was just one of those people that needed to save everyone, no matter who they are or what they’ve done. Take Keith for example. When Keith had needed somewhere to go, Shiro had begged (well, it hadn’t taken much since his family was very much like him) his family to take in Keith. Allura, it seems, is one of those people too. She may be scary as all hell when she’s angry or determined, but when she’s happy or proud or just relaxed, she’s one of the sweetest people Keith has ever met in his life. They were honestly perfect together and Keith was so envious of their relationship. He’d never seen himself as one of those people that could just click with someone like they do. Keith’s experience with love has always been negative and he didn’t see his view changing any time soon. 

“Oh, well I hope she’s feeling better in the morning.” Keith sent Shiro a small, sad smile and glanced at the clock. It was only 10 at night but Keith was ready to just go to bed. “I’ll see you in the morning” he sighed and headed towards the stairs. 

“Keith?” Shiro’s voice stopped him, “sometimes, things that are meant to be aren’t always easy to see.” Was all he said before turning to the living room and turning the TV on. Keith wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean, but he just shrugged and headed upstairs. 

 

 

Pidge burst in through the front door, as she did every morning, marched over to Keith’s seat and grabbed his hand. “Sorry to interrupt breakfast but this is an emergency!” she yelled back to Shiro and his parents. 

“Pidge, how many times do I have to tell you, you can’t just--” Keith began, grabbing his wrist from the younger girl’s hand. 

“Details. Now” she demanded, cutting him off mid-rant. 

“It was terrible. He talked about himself the whole night and made terrible jokes. Oh! And he  _ flirted  _ with the hostess before the date even began!” Keith jumped at the chance to finally rant about his terrible date last night. 

“I mean...did you try to talk about yourself?” she looked up at him through her circular framed glasses. 

“Well, no…” he trailed, earning a disapproving look from the girl, “but he didn’t even ask me! He just kept going on and on about how his family owned a supermarket and making terrible jokes about--?”

“Keith! He’s never gonna fall for you if you don’t give him anything to work with! You can’t fall for an emotionless brick wall”

“Well, thanks for that” Keith mumbled, crossing his arms and shutting down. “I think we need to leave for school now.” 

Truth was, Keith was kind of dreading school. The day could go one of two ways: McClain pretends that nothing happened last night and Keith will lose the bet or McClain is super obnoxious and brags about their newfound relationship and Keith becomes the well known asshole in school when he breaks McClain’s heart. Keith wasn’t really looking forward to either options honestly. 

“C’mon, that’s not what I meant.” Pidge said, grabbing his hand again and tugging him back into the kitchen. “Get your stuff, it’s 6:40, we gotta go” she said, grabbing her bag and a piece of toast from Keith’s plate as Shiro’s mom asked her if she wanted food to go. “Thanks, miss, but this toast will do! Have a good day!” 

“See you later” Keith mumbled as he grabbed his bag and chased after Pidge, barely registering as his mom yelled something about a conference at 4 and how she would be home late today. 

“Thank you so much for the breakfast, Mrs. McClain.” Hunk said for the 3rd time since sitting down.

“Hunk, you’re welcome again but how many times have I told you, just call me Mari” She smiled at the boy before grabbing her coffee, pressing a kiss to Lance’s and Hunk’s heads, reminding them not to be late, and heading back to her room. 

“Dude, I love your mom” Hunk always came over in the mornings, mostly because Lance’s family accepted him as one of their own when Lance and him had become best friends in middle school. 

“Yeah, she’s pretty great” Lance agreed. There was no hiding it. Lance was a total mama’s boy. No matter what people said about him at school, how rude or disrespectful he was said to be to women, he would never disrespect women. His mama had taught him better than that and he had seen what she’d overcome and respected her for it. 

“So, how was your date last night?” Hunk asked hesitantly. Lance was well known for hiding his true emotions behind a happy mask so it’s unknown how the date had really gone. 

“Muy bien” Lance smiled, standing to wash his dish. “It was great. He really listened to all my stories. You know, he didn’t like interrupt me or tell me I was being too...Lance.” 

“That’s great, but that doesn’t make him amazing. You’re not too much to handle, Lance. He doesn’t deserve you just because he doesn’t treat you like trash, it just shows that he’s decent.” 

The last thing Hunk wanted for his best friend was for him to fall hard for this guy and then get his heartbroken when Lance felt more for him than he felt for Lance. It wouldn’t be the first time it’d happened and Hunk wasn’t too hopeful that it would be the last. Every time, though, Hunk would be there with a tub of ice cream and Lance’s favorite rom-coms so that he could cry over the heartbreak and then help him get over it. While he didn’t mind doing it because he loved Lance like his own family, he didn’t want to have to keep doing it. 

“I know, but maybe it’s the start to something good. Like maybe he really could handle me. He doesn’t get annoyed with me-- well there was that one time but….” Lance trailed off, clearly not talking to Hunk anymore and more to himself. “I mean...he didn't seem that annoyed....but...What if you’re right. He probably doesn’t even like me. What if it was all an act and he really can’t stand me?”

“No, I’m sure he likes you Lance, don’t listen to your head. It doesn’t know what’s best for you. I do. And I say that he wouldn’t have asked you out if he didn’t like you, right?” Hunk knew exactly what to say when Lance seemed to be on the brink of an attack. He’d learned to deal with them much better since the first time he’d seen Lance have one.

 

_ It was 7th grade and Hunk had watched Lance confidently begin his class presentation. He started with a joke that was meant to break the ice, but Hunk---and inevitably Lance---saw and heard the groans that flooded the classroom. Lance had started out as the funny guy and soon thought that a joke was expected from him, to keep the mood light and to hide his true emotions, but over the years, the laughter had twisted into groans and eye rolls. Lance just laughed and continued but Hunk had learned to read Lance in the time they’d known each other. He saw how behind the mask, Lance was beginning to panic. Things weren’t turning out the way he wanted. Regardless, Lance managed to power through the presentation and even ended the presentation with a shaky--- not that anyone but Hunk noticed--joke and a bow. When it was over, Lance rushed to the teacher and asked to be excused for a moment.  _

_ At the time, Hunk didn’t know what was going on, but he knew it couldn’t be good and something in him made him push back his seat and ask if he could be excused as well. With the teacher’s approval, he followed Lance to the bathroom across the hall.  _

_ The bathroom was empty, save for the cuban boy pacing the floor. He was breathing fast and hard, tearings not falling but welling up in his eyes. He was mumbling to himself, something that Hunk couldn’t quite hear, but he caught small pieces, such as words as “screwed up” and “failure.” He didn’t seem to register that Hunk was standing in the bathroom with and was instead focused on degrading himself.  _

_ Hunk saw the exact moment when Lance stopped being able to breathe at all and when he lost all control. Hunk, who’d been frozen in place, watched as Lance crumpled to the ground and his tears fell from his eyes at a rapid pace. His breathing became rigid as he choked over sobs and hiccups. Hunk didn’t know what to do, especially not as the boy began tugging at his shirt and neck, in what he could only assume was an attempt to get more oxygen.  _

_ All at once, Hunk realized what he had to do. He’d never been in this position before but he’d seen this in movies before. He fell in front of the boy on his knees and gently grabbed the boy’s wrists. He fought to make eye contact with the boy.  _

_ “Hey. You’re okay, you’re safe. It’s Hunk. You know me. Here can you do me a favor and try to count to ten with me? I’ll start. One, two, three….”  _

_ Lance joined in at three and the two of them counted all the way to ten, Lance’s breathing becoming slightly more steady with each number. Hunk had pulled the smaller boy into his lap by this time. By the time they hit ten, his breathing was not perfect just yet but he had stopped hyperventilating.  _

_ “Hey, you feeling a little better now?” Hunk asked the boy who in response nodded slightly and mumbled a small “thanks.” “No worries, I’m just glad you’re okay.” Hunk smiled.  _

 

By junior year of high school, he’d talked Lance down from several attacks since then and thankfully they’d decreased in number over the years. 

“Hey you alright?” Hunk asked the boy who had placed his head in between his arms on the table. “Don’t do this to yourself, Lance. He probably does like you and if he doesn’t, he’s gotta be the dumbest person I’ve ever met”

 

 


	3. chapter three *UPDATED

Keith held back a groan as he and Pidge walked up to the school. 

“Stop being a baby and suck it up. No one forced you to date him, now you gotta deal with it.” Pidge rolled her eyes, walking faster than him. She was probably heading to the library to do some last minute homework or something because despite being a genius, Pidge couldn’t manage to do her homework for her life.

There was the sound of a car engine and a loud spanish pop song blasting from their stereo. Keith turned his head to see the same silver car he’d been in last night, with McClain and Hunk inside, speed past. He sighed. He hated being the center of attention and seemed that this bet would place him at the eye of the storm, if all the students that turned to look at the car was any judge. He jogged towards the parking spot that the car pulled into and arrived just in time to see Hunk swing the passenger side door open and gag. 

“Lance!” Hunk complained.

“Hunk!  Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.” McClain quoted Ferris Bueller as he swung his own door open and stepped out. 

“That doesn’t even apply to your fast driving” Keith spoke up. 

McClain swung his head to face Keith and a blinding smile flew onto his face. “Keith! How you doing today?!” His energy was nearly enough to knock Keith over. 

“I’m good. I can see you’re doing great” He couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on his face. 

“I’m doing amazing man. Awe, it’s such a beautiful day. How am I supposed to possibly focus on  _ mathematics  _ on such a beautiful day?”

McClain slammed his door and moved towards Keith, gesturing around him at the sky and the grass. It was 80 degrees (26 degrees c) outside and Keith had to admit it was an amazing day, not a cloud in the sky. When McClain reached Keith, he swung his arm around Keith’s shoulders, an action that Keith had to force himself not to avoid. He wasn’t used to McClain’s fast moving limbs and lips. He was genuinely struggling to keep up with the fast moving boy.

“Yeah, he says that but we all know he’s not gonna risk his gpa to skip school” Hunk rolls his eyes as he pulls himself out of the car and makes his way towards Keith and McClain. 

“You’re ruining my street cred, man!” McClain fake complained. 

“Can’t ruin what you never had” Keith heard himself saying. He didn’t know how he’d managed to think of that. He’d never been known for his ability to banter with people. 

McClain turned his head to Keith with a look of betrayal. “So this is how it’s gonna be? You’re both going against me? I’m betrayed.” He moved away from Keith and crossed his arms, turning his head in the opposite direction. 

“Awe, don’t be like that, buddy.” Hunk said absently, clearly used to McClain’s antics. “I gotta go to the library, gotta finish that algebra homework.”

“See you at lunch!” McClain yelled after him before turning to Keith. “So last night was fun” 

Keith bit his lip and nodded. “Yeah, yeah it was” 

“So, I was thinking...do you wanna come by my house after school today? I gotta bake some cookies for my sister’s bake sale tomorrow and would love the company.” 

“I would love to…” Keith hesitated. He’d have to be an idiot to not see through that ploy. That’s clearly a way to get Keith into his house so he can try to get in his pants but if he was going to win this bet, he’d have to suck it up. 

“Great, I’ll meet you in the front of the school after school today” He was smiling widely again, in a way that was almost genuine enough to make Keith believe he was a good person. The first bell, signal that students should start moving to their classes, rang and Lance looked up to the ceiling for a brief second before looking back at Keith. “Gotta run but sit with Hunk and I at lunch?” Keith nodded before him and Lance took off into different directions. 

  
Keith’s classes went by in a blur, math was boring, english was bearable, and in history they watched some clip on the Civil Rights Movement and before Keith knew it, it was time for lunch. Well, after his history teacher kept him back for 10 minutes, meaning that he’d missed the first and second bells. So, he accepted to walk through the empty hallways to lunch. He just hoped that Pidge would save him a seat and that the lunch line wouldn’t be horrible by the time he got there. 

So, he was walking through the halls on his way to the lunchroom when he heard the voice of the school’s football captain and the biggest dickhead in the whole school. Zack Zarkon. What idiot even names their child with that kind of name? That has to be considered child abuse in at least one state, right? Either way, he heard his voice, loud and angry, as he shouted down at some poor kid. 

“Who do you think you are, McClain?! You think you’re funny?”

“I’ll have you know, tons of people think I’m hilarious!” He heard McClain bite back,  _ idiot, _ “don’t get bitter just because you don’t understand my wicked sense of humor” he laughed.

Keith heard the sound of something slamming into the locker and then he heard Zarkon’s laugh. He rounded the corner to see Lance being held up against the lockers by one of Zarkon’s jock friends while Zarkon laughed. 

“You never shut up, do you?” Zarkon asked as he leaned close to McClain’s face. Keith saw the way McClain’s normal smirk dropped off his face and he couldn’t help but think that his face looked empty without it pressed there. Zarkon backed up and then swung his fist at the boy, who was dropped by the jock and collapsed sadly to the ground. “I’ve always said that someone should put you in your place. You know, show you that you’re not the great god that you think you are” (Something in Keith’s stomach flipped and he ignored it, because what he was doing  _ was not the same as Zarkon beating him up. _ )

“Like you?” Keith strained to hear from where he was standing a small distance from the group. He couldn’t help but smirk a bit at the fact that even in this position, being hit down, McClain was still fighting back. Zarkon made a noise that reminded Keith of a bear’s growl. He looked as though he was about to hit McClain again, when Keith heard a voice shout, “Hey asshole!” 

It took Keith a longer time than he would care to admit to realize that that voice was himself. Zarkon and his crew turned their heads to look at Keith who was now angrily stomping towards Zarkon. “You have nothing better to do than break your knuckles on a innocent guy’s face?” It wasn’t exactly a defense for McClain, but at least Zarkon wasn’t hitting McClain anymore. 

“What’s it matter to you?” Zarkon growled. Then his face washed over with realization and a smirk fell to his lips as he scoffed. “What? McClain needs his  _ boyfriend  _ to come fight his battles for him?” 

Something hot and dark grew in Keith’s chest as he heard the word ‘boyfriend’ pass his lips and he lunged forward and hit Zarkon’s face, shouting Lance’s name in the process and as though it had been planned, McClain pushed Zarkon’s feet out from underneath him, sending the bully straight to the ground with a groan of pain. Keith looked up from the captain and at all the surrounding jocks, as though threatening them to try and fight him. They all put their hands up in mock surrender and one of them spoke saying “look we don’t wanna fight” before they all backed up and ran. 

Keith was in shock that he’d done that. He’d spent his whole life being more of the keep your head down and don’t give into your anger kinda person but something in him had snapped when he heard Zarkon say those words. 

He looked over at McClain, who was sitting up now and clutching his nose. It was bleeding and it would probably be bruised for a while. Keith moved towards the boy and held out his hand. “Hey, you okay?”

“We make a pretty good team” he laughed, grabbing Keith’s hand and standing up. Zarkon was starting to get up, they hadn’t hit him  _ that  _ hard, and Keith wanted to get out of there before he decided that he was angry enough to crush both their skulls. 

“Yeah, I guess we do…” Keith shrugged as he pulled McClain towards the bathroom. 

“But I could’ve totally taken him” McClain puffed his chest slightly.

“Yeah, I could tell” Keith scoffed. “Do you need a tissue?” 

McClain perched himself up on the sink counter and leaned back against the mirror. 

“Uh, yeah.” he laughed.  “But...uh, thanks. You didn’t have to--”

“Please, he would’ve killed you if it wasn’t for me” 

“Nah, he’s not  _ that  _ crazy” he laughed awkwardly, looking at his hands. 

“What was his problem anyway?” Keith asked after a pause of silence. 

He thought maybe McClain hadn’t heard him after there was no answer for a moment. He was about to repeat the question when McClain shrugged. 

“...don’t know” 

Keith didn’t know what to say. He’d never been good at the whole comfort thing, especially not with someone like McClain. And even if he had, he’d never seen McClain so….small. It was almost like he was  _ trying  _ to make himself smaller, pushing himself into the mirror. He didn’t know how to deal with it. 

“He probably just can’t handle how dashingly handsome I am” McClain looked up at Keith and suddenly all Keith’s thoughts were washed away. 

“Okay, loser. Let’s go, Pidge and Hunk are probably waiting for us.” He said, offering McClain a hand down from the counter. The other took his hand and jumped down from the counter. 

“My knight in shining armor” he joked passively, as he walked ahead. “I bet I can’t beat you to the cafeteria” He winked as he took off in a sprint towards the cafeteria.

“That’s not fair, you got a headstart” Keith argued as he launched into a sprint after him. 

 

 

 

Lance was going to die. He was convinced. No one can live without oxygen and Lance couldn’t breathe, so he was gonna die. It was about 5 minutes until the last bell of the day and Keith was supposed to be waiting for him when he got to the front of the school. And then, he was gonna come to his house! He couldn’t do this. If Keith’s house was anything to go off of, he could think Lance was lesser because his house wasn’t all that great. Well, Lance never had to beg for food or anything but he and his family had to make a lot of sacrifices throughout their lives to afford what they have and it wasn’t much. He wasn’t sure if he was afraid of the judgement itself or the fact that it’d be coming from Keith.

A hand landed on his shoulder, bringing him back to reality. He spun to look at the hand’s owner, to find Hunk. “Breathe, man. It’s gonna be fine.”

Lance took a deep breath, smiling at his best friend. “Thanks man. So, you’re hanging with Shay today?” He elbowed Hunk’s stomach a little bit, trying to distract himself from his anxious state--though Lance’s anxiety had been popping up a lot more frequently as of late and therefore it was becoming harder and harder to ignore. 

Hunk blushed and gave a shy smile, “Yeah, we’re supposed to watch a movie or something. I can’t wait to see her.” Hunk’s girlfriend, Shay, attended another public school on the other side of town and therefore Hunk and Shay only saw each other once and awhile--until Hunk got his license at least. 

“That’s great, man! I’m so happy for you.” Lance sent Hunk a smile to reassure him. “You guys are so disgustingly adorable together.”

“Thanks, buddy.” Hunk smiled back as the bell rang and Lance anxiously looked up at the clock, biting his cheek. 

“C’mon. You’ll have a great time, now don’t keep him waiting” Hunk pushed Lance’s back lightly towards the class door.   
Lance nodded and before he knew it, he found himself in the front of the school, walking up to Keith and the girl he always hung out with.

“....so with this device you can basically communicate with all types of extraterrestrial life. It uses its laser scanner to read if there are any other forms of life or communication out there and connects you to them” She was making grand gestures with her hands and speaking actively with Keith. 

“Sounds awesome” Lance butt into the conversation. He knew it was rude to interrupt but he didn’t know how else to enter the conversation. The two turned to face him. 

“Hey,” Keith waved slightly, “you know Pidge, right?” He gestured to the younger girl. 

“Uh, not really. How you doin’, name’s Lance” he stuck his hand out to the girl, who eyed his hand and then looked him up and down. 

“Cool. I gotta run, Keith, I’ll be over later?”

“Uh, I’m not gonna be home....going to Lance’s” he shrugged like it was no big deal. So Keith wasn’t freaked out over this, great,  _ so it’s just me then.  _

Pidge’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “O-oh...okay…then I’ll see you tomorrow morning…” And then she was gone. 

Keith turned to him, sending him a sheepish smile with no teeth. “How was your classes? Anyone ask about your nose?” Keith started the conversation, a rare thing in the time they’d known each other. 

“Literally everyone, ‘cause you know, I’m pretty cool. But I just told them that they should see the other guy, who, in case you were curious, didn’t say shit to me the entire class.” He lead Keith to his car, where he got in and pulled out of the spot. Keith didn’t say anything, just nodded. There was a few minutes of silence, until Lance spoke again. “So, you know a lot about me, tell me something bout yourself.”

“Er...like, what do you wanna know?” Keith looked lost. 

“Like….” Lance bit his lip trying to think of something that wouldn’t make things worse, “how long have you known Pidge?”

“Since we were kids, her parents and mine--” Keith cut off abruptly. Lance thought maybe he would continue but after a couple seconds of silence, Lance realized that had done exactly what he’d been trying to avoid doing. 

“Sorry...won’t bring that up again. So what’s your favorite subject in school?” Keith was looking out the window and remained silent, so Lance figured that meant he didn’t want to talk, opting to launch into a rant because what else was he good for but making jokes and talking to avoid awkward situations?

After 10 minutes of Lance grasping at straws for things to talk about, they finally pulled up to Lance’s house. 

“Well, here we are. Mi casa es tu casa” Lance stepped out and threw his arms open in the air.

“It’s nice.” Keith said, the first words since they had left the school, as he stepped out of the car.

“Thanks.” Lance smiled and moved ahead of Keith to get the door. “And here we are. You can throw your stuff on the couch and get comfy. I’m gonna grab something.” 

 

 

Keith put down his bag on the sofa by the doorway. The house was beautifully decorated and also messy, various items scattered throughout the house. Actually, messy wasn’t the word. It was very...lively. You could tell that people lived here and it gave the house personality. 

Keith moved towards the fireplace mantel, where picture frames and snow globes sat. There were photos of several children, varying in ages and times. He picked up one of 2 boys who looked a lot like Lance, only younger. They were smiling and clearly having a great time. 

“That’s me and my big brother, Marco like 4 years ago at some family picnic.” McClain’s voice behind him made him jump slightly. “He’s in college now.” He turned around to see McClain standing in the doorway. “Oh, I got this” He held up his hands, where he was holding up a speaker. “Figured, every good baking adventure needs some music. We can play whatever you’d like.” Keith nodded lamely, not knowing what else to say, and followed McClain to the kitchen. “So my sister needs like a dozen sugar cookies and a dozen chocolate chip cookies--” he turned to see Keith staring at him in confusion. “What?” 

“So, you didn’t invite me here to…” he couldn’t bring himself to say it but the message clearly got across in the way that McClain’s face paled drastically. 

“Oh...is that what you…oh” he seemed….disappointed?  _ No that can’t be right.  _ “I mean if that’s what you want--”

“N-No! No I just thought…” 

“No...I was being legit when I asked if you wanted to bake cookies...I know it’s kinda lame and whatever but--”

“Nah it’s not lame” Keith reassured him. “Just a misunderstanding” 

At that, McClain’s smile returned. “So, like I was saying, before I was so  _ rudely  _ interrupted.” He sent Keith a fake glare, who in response sent him an offended look. 

 

 

McClain, as it turned out, was surprisingly terrible at baking, Keith found out as he scrambled around the kitchen, trying to figure out how much of each ingredient was needed in the cookie batter.

“It literally says 1 cup, what’s your problem?” Keith raised an eyebrow.

“Where does it say that!?” McClain exclaimed running over to him.

“At the top!” Keith retorted, “You’re really terrible at this, you know” 

McClain scoffed at that. “I do not, I just like to do things my way.”

“Is your way the way of forgetting ingredients and taking 2 hours to mix the batter?” 

“It has not been--” McClain looked at the oven clock and his eyebrows furrowed. “Okay, so it  _ has  _ been 2 hours, but that’s so not the point.”

“It so is” Keith scrunched his face.   
McClain didn’t respond and Keith was sure that he’d won that fight until he saw the flour hit the cabinet next to him.

“You have  _ terrible  _ aim” He remarked. 

“Like you can talk” McClain stuck his tongue out. 

“Oh yeah? You’re supposed to aim like  _ this”  _ he reached for a bag of flour, grabbed a handful of flour and chucked straight at McClain’s chest. 

McClain scoffed in disbelief. “I cannot believe you would betray me like this!”

“You threw it at me first!” He argued as McClain stuck his hand back into his bag and pulled more out. 

“Correction, I  _ missed  _ first! You hit me!”

“So you admit you suck!?” Keith retorted. 

“I didn’t--No! You suck!” 

“You’re literally three” 

“Oh yeah? Could a three year old do... _ this?!”  _ he shouted as he took his handful of flour and chucked it at Keith. 

“Oh, it’s on” Keith declared as he threw more flour on the boy. 

Before Keith knew it, the kitchen was covered in flour, he was hiding behind a cabinet and McClain was leaning around the corner of the kitchen doorway. 

“You can’t hide forever!” McClain shouted. 

“Fine, fine. I surrender. Here, I’ll even put my flour bag on the counter, look.” He put his significantly emptier flour bag on the now white counter top. “Come out, I surrender. White flag and everything.”  
McClain hesitantly turned the corner to see that Keith was telling the truth, standing in the kitchen with his flour bag on the counter away from him. “Okay...I accept your surrender and my--” the word ‘victory’ froze in his throat as Keith lunged forward and rubbed his flour covered hands through McClain’s hair. 

 

Lance froze at the sudden contact and looked up at the boy standing in front of him with the first  _ real  _ smile that Lance had ever seen on his face. Keith looked down at Lance, grin still there, but now he wasn’t focused on Lance’s hair or the flour anymore. He was looking at Lance and Lance’s lips. Lance looked into Keith’s purple eyes and down to his pink lips. Lance felt Keith’s grasp on his hair loosen and he felt himself being pulled closer to Keith, his eyes fluttering shut as Keith leaned in closer to him, to his lips. They were closer than they’d ever been and their lips were. so. close. together when--

“Lance! We’re home!” 

Keith blinked once, looking at Lance and then moving away so quickly that Lance thought for a second that maybe he’d been burned. Keith lowered his gaze to the ground and awkwardly scratched the back of his neck as he coughed. “Um...I’m gonna start cleaning up.” His cheeks were bright red from what Lance could see and his voice was wavering slightly. 

 

“Mijo?” An adult female voice, accompanied by the clicking of heels, traveled to the kitchen. “Donde estas?”

“La cocina, mama!” McClain shouted back, his cheeks a bright pink color and his voice cracking. 

A tall spanish woman entered the kitchen, red heels on her feet to go with her black skirt and blue blouse. She was beautiful, especially considering the fact that she was probably much older than she appeared to be. She smiled at her son and walked over, pressing a kiss against his forehead. “Ah, you have a friend over” She turned to Keith, who could barely make eye contact with either McClain or his mom. 

“Mama, this is Keith, Keith this is mi madre.” McClain smiled in a way that was so caring and loving that Keith felt almost jealous. 

“My name’s Mariposa, but you can call me Mari” she smiled, opening her arms and offering Keith a hug. 

“Mama hugs everyone, just go with it” Keith heard as Mari’s arms closed around him. 

“It’s wonderful to meet you, Mrs. McClain”

“Mari” Mari corrected. “Lance, what happened to this kitchen?” She demanded, suddenly aware of the flour covering every inch of her kitchen and son. 

“Uh…we uh...” McClain stumbled but Mari just shook her head. 

“I don’t care. Just clean it and make sure Sofia has her cookies for tomorrow, por favor, Mijo.” She sighed softly. “It was wonderful to meet you, Keith.” Was all she said before she clicked out of the kitchen, leaving Keith to avoid McClain’s eyes, focusing way too much on clearing the countertop with a paper towel. 

McClain also seemed to be okay with avoiding eye contact or speaking because he silently picked up the broom and began sweeping behind Keith. 


	4. chapter four *UPDATED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is terrible I'm sorry but I think you'll find a way to forgive me...

Lance was going to die. He was convinced. No one can live without oxygen and Lance couldn’t breathe, so he was gonna die. It was about 5 minutes until the last bell of the day and Keith was supposed to be waiting for him when he got to the front of the school. And then, he was gonna come to his house! He couldn’t do this. If Keith’s house was anything to go off of, he could think Lance was lesser because his house wasn’t all that great. Well, Lance never had to beg for food or anything but he and his family had to make a lot of sacrifices throughout their lives to afford what they have and it wasn’t much. He wasn’t sure if he was afraid of the judgement itself or the fact that it’d be coming from Keith.

A hand landed on his shoulder, bringing him back to reality. He spun to look at the hand’s owner, to find Hunk. “Breathe, man. It’s gonna be fine.”

Lance took a deep breath, smiling at his best friend. “Thanks man. So, you’re hanging with Shay today?” He elbowed Hunk’s stomach a little bit, trying to distract himself from his anxious state--though Lance’s anxiety had been popping up a lot more frequently as of late and therefore it was becoming harder and harder to ignore.

Hunk blushed and gave a shy smile, “Yeah, we’re supposed to watch a movie or something. I can’t wait to see her.” Hunk’s girlfriend, Shay, attended another public school on the other side of town and therefore Hunk and Shay only saw each other once and awhile--until Hunk got his license at least.

“That’s great, man! I’m so happy for you.” Lance sent Hunk a smile to reassure him. “You guys are so disgustingly adorable together.”

“Thanks, buddy.” Hunk smiled back as the bell rang and Lance anxiously looked up at the clock, biting his cheek.

“C’mon. You’ll have a great time, now don’t keep him waiting” Hunk pushed Lance’s back lightly towards the class door.  
Lance nodded and before he knew it, he found himself in the front of the school, walking up to Keith and the girl he always hung out with.

“....so with this device you can basically communicate with all types of extraterrestrial life. It uses its laser scanner to read if there are any other forms of life or communication out there and connects you to them” She was making grand gestures with her hands and speaking actively with Keith.

“Sounds awesome” Lance butt into the conversation. He knew it was rude to interrupt but he didn’t know how else to enter the conversation. The two turned to face him.

“Hey,” Keith waved slightly, “you know Pidge, right?” He gestured to the younger girl.

“Uh, not really. How you doin’, name’s Lance” he stuck his hand out to the girl, who eyed his hand and then looked him up and down.

“Cool. I gotta run, Keith, I’ll be over later?”

“Uh, I’m not gonna be home....going to Lance’s” he shrugged like it was no big deal. So Keith wasn’t freaked out over this, great, _so it’s just me then._

Pidge’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “O-oh...okay…then I’ll see you tomorrow morning…” And then she was gone.

Keith turned to him, sending him a sheepish smile with no teeth. “How was your classes? Anyone ask about your nose?” Keith started the conversation, a rare thing in the time they’d known each other.

“Literally everyone, ‘cause you know, I’m pretty cool. But I just told them that they should see the other guy, who, in case you were curious, didn’t say shit to me the entire class.” He lead Keith to his car, where he got in and pulled out of the spot. Keith didn’t say anything, just nodded. There was a few minutes of silence, until Lance spoke again. “So, you know a lot about me, tell me something bout yourself.”

“Er...like, what do you wanna know?” Keith looked lost.

“Like….” Lance bit his lip trying to think of something that wouldn’t make things worse, “how long have you known Pidge?”

“Since we were kids, her parents and mine--” Keith cut off abruptly. Lance thought maybe he would continue but after a couple seconds of silence, Lance realized that had done exactly what he’d been trying to avoid doing.

“Sorry...won’t bring that up again. So what’s your favorite subject in school?” Keith was looking out the window and remained silent, so Lance figured that meant he didn’t want to talk, opting to launch into a rant because what else was he good for but making jokes and talking to avoid awkward situations?

After 10 minutes of Lance grasping at straws for things to talk about, they finally pulled up to Lance’s house.

“Well, here we are. Mi casa es tu casa” Lance stepped out and threw his arms open in the air.

“It’s nice.” Keith said, the first words since they had left the school, as he stepped out of the car.

“Thanks.” Lance smiled and moved ahead of Keith to get the door. “And here we are. You can throw your stuff on the couch and get comfy. I’m gonna grab something.” 

 

 

Keith put down his bag on the sofa by the doorway. The house was beautifully decorated and also messy, various items scattered throughout the house. Actually, messy wasn’t the word. It was very...lively. You could tell that people lived here and it gave the house personality.

Keith moved towards the fireplace mantel, where picture frames and snow globes sat. There were photos of several children, varying in ages and times. He picked up one of 2 boys who looked a lot like Lance, only younger. They were smiling and clearly having a great time.

“That’s me and my big brother, Marco like 4 years ago at some family picnic.” McClain’s voice behind him made him jump slightly. “He’s in college now.” He turned around to see McClain standing in the doorway. “Oh, I got this” He held up his hands, where he was holding up a speaker. “Figured, every good baking adventure needs some music. We can play whatever you’d like.” Keith nodded lamely, not knowing what else to say, and followed McClain to the kitchen. “So my sister needs like a dozen sugar cookies and a dozen chocolate chip cookies--” he turned to see Keith staring at him in confusion. “What?”

“So, you didn’t invite me here to…” he couldn’t bring himself to say it but the message clearly got across in the way that McClain’s face paled drastically.

“Oh...is that what you…oh” he seemed….disappointed? _No that can’t be right._ “I mean if that’s what you want--”

“N-No! No I just thought…”

“No...I was being legit when I asked if you wanted to bake cookies...I know it’s kinda lame and whatever but--”

“Nah it’s not lame” Keith reassured him. “Just a misunderstanding”

At that, McClain’s smile returned. “So, like I was saying, before I was so _rudely_ interrupted.” He sent Keith a fake glare, who in response sent him an offended look.

 

 

McClain, as it turned out, was surprisingly terrible at baking, Keith found out as he scrambled around the kitchen, trying to figure out how much of each ingredient was needed in the cookie batter.

“It literally says 1 cup, what’s your problem?” Keith raised an eyebrow.

“Where does it say that!?” McClain exclaimed running over to him.

“At the top!” Keith retorted, “You’re really terrible at this, you know”

McClain scoffed at that. “I do not, I just like to do things my way.”

“Is your way the way of forgetting ingredients and taking 2 hours to mix the batter?”

“It has not been--” McClain looked at the oven clock and his eyebrows furrowed. “Okay, so it _has_ been 2 hours, but that’s so not the point.”

“It so is” Keith scrunched his face.  
McClain didn’t respond and Keith was sure that he’d won that fight until he saw the flour hit the cabinet next to him.

“You have _terrible_ aim” He remarked.

“Like you can talk” McClain stuck his tongue out.

“Oh yeah? You’re supposed to aim like _this”_ he reached for a bag of flour, grabbed a handful of flour and chucked straight at McClain’s chest.

McClain scoffed in disbelief. “I cannot believe you would betray me like this!”

“You threw it at me first!” He argued as McClain stuck his hand back into his bag and pulled more out.

“Correction, I _missed_ first! You hit me!”

“So you admit you suck!?” Keith retorted.

“I didn’t--No! You suck!”

“You’re literally three”

“Oh yeah? Could a three year old do... _this?!”_ he shouted as he took his handful of flour and chucked it at Keith.

“Oh, it’s on” Keith declared as he threw more flour on the boy.

Before Keith knew it, the kitchen was covered in flour, he was hiding behind a cabinet and McClain was leaning around the corner of the kitchen doorway.

“You can’t hide forever!” McClain shouted.

“Fine, fine. I surrender. Here, I’ll even put my flour bag on the counter, look.” He put his significantly emptier flour bag on the now white counter top. “Come out, I surrender. White flag and everything.”

  
McClain hesitantly turned the corner to see that Keith was telling the truth, standing in the kitchen with his flour bag on the counter away from him. “Okay...I accept your surrender and my--” the word ‘victory’ froze in his throat as Keith lunged forward, closing the distance between them, and rubbed his flour covered hands through McClain’s hair.  

* * *

 

Lance froze at the sudden contact and looked at the boy who was standing in front of him with the first _real_ smile that Lance had ever seen on his face. Keith looked up at Lance, grin still there, but now he wasn’t focused on Lance’s hair or the flour anymore. He was looking at Lance and Lance’s lips. Lance looked into Keith’s purple eyes and down to his pink lips. Lance felt Keith’s grasp on his hair loosen and he felt himself being pulled closer to Keith, his eyes fluttering shut as Keith leaned in closer to him, to his lips. They were closer than they’d ever been and their lips were. so. close. together when--

“Lance! We’re home!”

Keith blinked once, looking at Lance and then moving away so quickly that Lance thought for a second that maybe he’d been burned. Keith lowered his gaze to the ground and awkwardly scratched the back of his neck as he coughed. “Um...I’m gonna start cleaning up.” His cheeks were bright red from what Lance could see and his voice was wavering slightly.  

* * *

 

“Mijo?” An adult female voice, accompanied by the clicking of heels, traveled to the kitchen. “Donde estas?”

“La cocina, mama!” McClain shouted back, his cheeks a bright pink color and his voice cracking.

A tall spanish woman entered the kitchen, red heels on her feet to go with her black skirt and blue blouse. She was beautiful, especially considering the fact that she was probably much older than she appeared to be. She smiled at her son and walked over, pressing a kiss against his forehead. “Ah, you have a friend over” She turned to Keith, who could barely make eye contact with either McClain or his mom.

“Mama, this is Keith, Keith this is mi madre.” McClain smiled in a way that was so caring and loving that Keith felt almost jealous. No one had ever looked at him the way McClain looked at his mom-- with so much admiration and kindness. It almost made the anger that Keith had felt for McClain burn up inside him once more but he repressed it.

“My name’s Mariposa, but you can call me Mari” she smiled, opening her arms and offering Keith a hug.

“Mama hugs everyone, just go with it” Keith heard as Mari’s arms closed around him.

“It’s wonderful to meet you, Mrs. McClain”

“Mari” Mari corrected. “Lance, what happened to this kitchen?” She demanded, suddenly aware of the flour covering every inch of her kitchen and son.

“Uh…we uh...” McClain stumbled but Mari just shook her head.

“I don’t care. Just clean it and make sure Sofia has her cookies for tomorrow, por favor, Mijo.” She sighed softly. “It was wonderful to meet you, Keith.” Was all she said before she clicked out of the kitchen, leaving Keith to avoid McClain’s eyes, focusing way too much on clearing the countertop with a paper towel.

McClain also seemed to be okay with avoiding eye contact or speaking because he silently picked up the broom and began sweeping behind Keith.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG this is short and I'm sorry, thank you all for the comments. If you guys have any suggestions, feel free to leave them there too :) I hope you're enjoying this story and don't think it's as terrible as I feel like it is sometimes. Thanks again. Enjoy this chapter

“We don’t...uh...have to talk about it…” Lance spoke up after the two had basically cleaned the whole kitchen. His hair was still white, but he’d deal with that later. “You know...if you don’t want to.” 

_ Say you want to talk about it. Say you would’ve done it if we hadn’t been interrupted. Say you wanted to just as much as I did. _

“Yeah...if we could...just not talk about it…” Keith coughed and avoided his eyes again, throwing the paper towel into the garbage can. 

A part of Lance’s heart felt a bit crushed at that but he ignored it because they’d only gone out one time--two if you counted this--and he had no right to be upset over Keith not wanting to kiss him yet. Not everyone is as much of a  _ slut _ as he was, after all. 

“No problema. So I guess we should cont--” He began before he heard:

“Lance? Tengo un problema” 

 

A girl, no older than 12 years old, stood in the doorway of the kitchen, clutching a piece of paper. Keith didn’t know what she had said, but he had seen how McClain immediately moved towards her and pulled her into a side hug. 

“Hey, Sofia. What’s wrong?” He asked, sitting down on one of the island countertops seats and telling her to sit next to him. 

“I messed up…” She mumbled under her breath, lowering her eyes to her swinging feet, and McClain reached under her chin with his index finger. 

“Hey, I’m sure it’s not that bad” McClain reassured her, placing his hand on her forearm. “What’d you mess up?”

“I should’ve done better....” She sighed, handing McClain the sheet of paper. Keith caught a glance at the sheet, catching the number at the top and the subject. It was a 50 on a math test. “I studied so hard too!” She said as a tear fell from her eye. 

“Hey, hey, none of that” McClain shook his head and wiped away her tear with his thumb. “This is a hard topic, believe me, I did this too. It’s not your fault. Everyone has a hard time.”

“Lisa got a 99 on this test” she protested.

“And you get 100s on everything else. This just happens to be your one fallout. That’s not a bad thing, that just means you’re human” McClain shook his head and sent her a small smile, with his eyebrows raised. “You’re a smart girl, okay?” 

“Mama’s gonna hate me” she mumbled.

“No she’s not” McClain put his arm around her and squeezed her shoulders. 

“How do  _ you  _ know?”

“Because, Sofia, I’ve done a  _ lot  _ of stupid things in my life and mama doesn’t hate  _ me _ , now does she? She's gonna be upset...but only because she knows you and she knows you can do better. Okay?”

“....I guess you’re right…”

“Of course I’m right. I’m older, I’m always right” McClain boasted, making the girl shake her head and scoff.

“Don’t get an even  _ bigger  _ head” before jumping off the stool and pulling McClain into a tight hug, “thanks Lance” 

“Anytime, sis.” He said, ruffling her hair (to which she scrunched her face up) before saying, “now go get it over with right now, just rip off the bandage, right?” She nodded and ran off.

“Wow,” he breathed, making McClain turn to face him. 

“What?” he furrowed his eyebrows.

“I had no idea you were so good with kids” Keith shrugged.

“Thanks…” McClain blushed. “I don’t know, growing up with tons of siblings and cousins and everything, guess it’s just natural at this point.” 

Keith was shocked, he’d seen McClain as a lot of things, a player, a heartbreaker, a best friend, but never as a brother. He’d never seen this...soft side of McClain that wiped away his sister’s tears and reassured them. 

A flash of guilt flooded Keith’s body for a brief moment, as it occurred to him that maybe McClain  _ wasn’t  _ just a player but then he remembered how entitled McClain was. Always walking around bragging about his money and grades and family. That was the whole reason he’d started doing this in the first place. He’d nearly forgotten when he stopped Zarkon and when he’d been in the flour fight but now that he was thinking back on it, what had he been thinking, almost kissing McClain like that? It was stupid and his judgement had been clouded but he remembered now who McClain really was and why he needed to be put into his place. 

“Anyway, like I was saying...we should continue--”

“Uh...actually...I told my parents that I’d be home by 7 for dinner…” Keith interrupted. It was a lie, but it's not like McClain would know anyway. McClain looked at the clock and saw that it was now 6:45.

“Oh….okay...I guess I should drive you home now then…” He trailed awkwardly.

* * *

They pulled up to Keith's house and Keith was about to get out when McClain called him back. 

“Wait….” he didn't continue, biting his lip.

“Was there more to that or…?” Keith found himself chuckling. 

“I really like you...like a lot…” McClain sighed, “and I  _ know  _ you like me because, duh.” Keith refrained himself from leaving right there, “but...I was wondering if...maybe you’d want to be my boyfriend?”

Keith nearly choked. Not only had that been easier than he thought it’d be but he didn’t even have to ask McClain to become boyfriends, he took care of it for him! 

McClain’s eyes widened with what looked like panic for a second, “You don’t have to say yes, I’m sorry! I’m sorry. We can just never speak about this again--”

“Yes, yes, I’ll be your boyfriend, don’t give yourself an aneurysm!” Keith interrupted and McClain’s face erupted into a smile.

* * *

After that, the two fell into a sort of pattern; everyday before school, Keith would wait for Lance to pull up to the school, where Lance would nearly jump out of his car to meet his boyfriend at the front of the school. Everyday at lunch, Keith and Pidge would come sit down at Lance’s lunch table, where Keith would sit next to Lance and Lance would sling his arm around his waist or shoulder. Everyday after school, they’d go to Lance’s house (They’d never gone to Keith’s house but Lance couldn’t figure out why.) where they’d work on homework or just talk about random shit and Lance was beginning to feel that he could really trust Keith. 

Keith who didn’t smile that often but when he did, it made Lance’s chest swell with pride and happiness because he was the one that made him smile. Keith who still hadn’t kissed him but Lance assumed he wasn’t ready and was okay with that because he didn’t need the kissing when Keith let him cuddle him and hold him tightly. Keith who listened to him complain about his mother and him fighting with no complaints, just attempts at reassurance. Keith who didn’t talk about his own life too often and grew uncomfortable if Lance pushed too far, but never yelled or complained about him.  Keith who Lance could actually see himself being happy with. There was only one problem: his anxiety. 

Lance had been able to hide his anxious habits and anxiety attacks from Keith, despite the fact that he was almost always with him. Lance wasn’t sure if it was because Lance felt safer with Keith or if his anxiety was getting better but he wasn’t gonna complain. But the anxiety was there, fuming beneath the surface. 

_ He hasn’t kissed you because he doesn’t really like you like that.  _

_ Maybe he knows you’re a bad kisser.  _

_ Maybe this is all a trick and he’s gonna get bored of you. _

The logical part of Lance’s brain knew these were ridiculous fears but that didn’t stop his chest from clenching in fear and his head from fogging up in the way that made Lance forget why he even bothered trying.

* * *

 

Keith walked up to the front of the school, like he always did, and waited. And waited. And waited until he heard the familiar chime of the school bell and accepted that he had to go to class. McClain hadn’t pulled up to the school today, music blaring out of his stereo (a different song everyday). There was no shouting as he pulled into the spot and saw Keith, no “GOOD MORNING LIGHT OF MY LIFE”, no slinging his arm around Keith’s shoulders and pulling him closer. And Keith was glad. He didn’t have to deal with his annoying optimism or terrible jokes. He didn’t have to deal with pretending to like he liked holding McClain’s hand. Keith was  _ glad  _ for a break. He didn’t miss having the contagious laughter follow him around or the feeling of McClain bumping into his side. He  _ didn’t.  _

So, Keith went to his classes and went to lunch that was much quieter than normal and then he walked home from school. He  _ did not  _ miss the chatter or the loud Beyonce music intruding his eardrums. He also did  _ not  _ mean to end up on McClain’s front steps instead of his own. He did not mean to ring the doorbell or to wait until the door swung open. 

But that’s what happened and that’s why when the door swung open and a boy, maybe 20  years old, he’d never met stood before him, he was shocked. 

“Hi…?” The boy said, raising an eyebrow, when Keith didn’t say anything first. 

“Um...hi….I’m here for Lance? I’m--”

“Oh! You’re Keith, right? Lance-y’s boy!” The boy realized, breaking out into a grin. “What can I do for you?”

“Um...can I see Lance? He wasn’t in school today and--”

“Oh, yeah. Lance actually is really sick right now and it’s better for him to be alone right now. I’ll let him know you stopped by though.”

“Oh...okay…?” He bit his lip. “Will he be in tomorrow?”

“Yeah...probably...maybe. I’ll have him text you.” The boy said, and Keith felt like he was being physically pushed off the porch despite the boy still being on the other side of the door.

“O-Okay, thanks.” 

* * *

 

_ That was weird. It was, right? It wasn’t just Keith’s imagination that gave him a bad feeling? Maybe he was just paranoid….but what if Lance was in danger? What if something actually happened to him? No, don’t be ridiculous, Keith, this isn’t some TV drama, this is real life. He’s probably actually sick and he’ll be back before you know it, why’re you acting like this?  _ Why  _ was  _ he acting like this? He should be celebrating, a day without pretending to like Lance. He should be throwing a party not worrying his lip while walking home from his house. 

Keith shook his head.  _ Stop thinking about it. Just go hang out with Pidge. Stop thinking about it. ~~Stop thinking about him.~~ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you notice something Keith did at the end? It's a small thing but it's pretty big...comment if you noticed :) 
> 
> Comments inspire me to write (*wink wink*)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING FOR HOMOPHOBIC LANGUAGE!

Keith couldn’t stop thinking about him. After the 2nd day in a row that Lance didn’t show up in the morning. After sitting in the uncomfortable silence of the lunchroom without a arm around him. After going to Lance’s house again and being told that Lance was still too sick for visitors. 

_ Stop being ridiculous. Why are you so hung up on this? _ He asked himself. Why was he so hung up on this? It’s not like he actually likes Lance anyway. All the hanging out with him, all of that was just a part of the bet. To make Lance fall for him. No other reason. 

So why was Pidge pushing him off the side of the couch with a cheer because she’d won yet another round of Mario Kart, a game he usually crushed her at. A game she had hacked a few years ago just to finally win a round. “In. Your. Face! Loser!” She cheered, standing up and chucking the controller on the floor as she did her “I-won-so-suck-it” dance. Keith rolled his eyes from where he’d fallen on the floor, but she could tell that he wasn’t really focused. “What’s up with you?” She asked, leaning over the arm of the couch to look at him. He was just laying there, staring up at the ceiling. “You’re being weird. Why’re you being weird?”

“I’m not being weird, you weirdo” Keith scoffed, sitting up. 

“Yes, you are. For the past two days, you’ve come over here, being even more quiet and mysterious than normal and at school you barely even talk like, what the shit, man?”

“I talk in school!”

Pidge made a noise of disbelief and raised her eyebrow. “If you say so. Even Hunk mentioned it and he doesn’t even know you”

“You guys are delusional. I’m always quiet, it’s kinda my thing” Keith shrugged, standing up and moving towards the kitchen. Her heard Pidge jump over the arm and follow him down the hall.

“Not like this, though. You’re like out of it. Mario Kart, for example! I never win! But I’ve beat you more times in the past two days than in my entire life!” 

“Look, Pidge” Keith said, opening the fridge and grabbing the gallon of juice. “I know this is a hard concept for you to grasp because you’re a genius and all, but you’re wrong. I’m not  _ “being weird”  _ you’re being weird with all these questions. Now can we just...I don’t know, play another game? How bout Mortal Kombat. I’ll show you how  _ not weird  _ I’m being”

Pidge looked like she was going to protest but then decided against it, simply nodding. Whatever it is, she figured, he would tell her when he was ready.

* * *

The next day, Keith stood where he always did, waiting for Lance and he so did not feel relieved when he heard the sound of a blasting stereo, playing...Selfish by Rihanna (yes, Lance had given Keith an entire lesson on the  _ “ _ need to know music” when he told him that he didn’t know any of the songs on the radio. The car pulled into the spot like any other day, the two doors swung open and out stepped Hunk and Lance, smile as bright as ever. He didn’t look sick or even like he’d been sick recently.

“Good morning, Mullet!” He cheered, practically skipping towards Keith. “How’re you on this beautiful day?”

“....I’m good...how’re you? Heard you were sick” Keith didn’t believe it. Not for a second. Lance looked too perky, too awake to have been ill. 

“Yeah, so disgusting stomach thing. Heard you came by, sorry ‘bout having my fam turn you away, sugarplum, couldn’t risk having you see me anything but my most beautiful self, y’know how it is” he winked, grabbing Keith’s hand, raising it, and turning himself underneath their joined arms. “But fret no more, your prince charming has returned” 

Keith couldn’t help the small smile that came to his face at the sheer….Lance-ness of his actions. “Yeah, yeah. I’m just sad my time of rest has come to an end”

“Oh  _ please _ , you know you missed me every second of the time I was gone.”

He did--He did  _ not ! _

“Whatever let’s you sleep at night, now let’s go. Bell’s boutta ring” Keith rolled his eyes and dragged the taller boy behind him.  

* * *

“Where’s your boyfriend now, fag? You thought you could avoid us and everything would just go away?” Zarkon’s voice grated against Lance’s ears as he barked out a laugh. “God, if you thought I hated you  _ before _ , when you were just the slut that was always in my fucking way, you have no  _ idea  _ how much I despise your worthless ass now that I know you’re a faggot too” Lance was going to be sick. He thought that maybe two days out of school would’ve been enough time for Zarkon to move on from picking on him but clearly that’d just made him angrier. Lance would be lying if he said hearing those words didn’t sting. Having many of his insecurities just spat back at him. 

_ Slut _

_ Faggot _

_ Worthless _

It was enough to make Lance’s eyes well with tears, despite the way he tried to hold them back. “Awe, is the wittle baby gonna cry?” One of Zarkon’s minions mocked. “Does someone need their binky?”

“No, someone needs to get their ass kicked, that’ll show him not to be such a pussy” Zarkon smirked before pulling his fist back and smashing it straight into Lance’s nose. Lance tried not to cry out in pain as he tasted the blood touching his lips. He went to look up when another fist landed straight into his abdomen. Then his side. Then his face again. The punches kept coming as Lance took them with small whimpers and short cries of pain. It wouldn’t do any good to cry out anyway, it’d just make them angrier and besides, they were in a corner of the school, just lockers, no classrooms. So, unless someone forgot their books, they wouldn’t be back until the bell rang. 

Eventually, Lance figured when he stopped responding, they got bored and took off, laughing to themselves, but not before Zarkon leaned real close to his face and whispered “text you later” in a way that shook Lance to the core. Lance didn’t want to move. He just wanted to stay in fetal position until he died. But he had to, he couldn’t bear it if classes got out and they saw him, bleeding and crying pathetically in a ball, on the floor of the hallway. He had to move and get home. He couldn’t possibly face anyone, especially not Keith or his friends, in this condition.

* * *

Keith didn’t get it. He’d seen Lance this morning and he’d said that he’d see him at lunch. So when Lance didn’t show up for lunch and then his car was gone when he went to meet him after school, he knew something was wrong.

“I’ll see you guys later” He told Hunk and Pidge as he took off towards Lance’s house. 

He  _ did not  _ run to Lance’s house, he merely….walked….very fast….

When he arrived, he wasn’t too shocked to see that Lance’s car was the only one in the driveway. He walked up the steps and rang the doorbell.

For a moment, Keith thought that no one would answer the door, because the past two days, it had been Lance’s family and it didn’t look like his family was home right now. Then, the front door swung open and Lance was standing there. Well, Keith was pretty sure it was Lance but it was hard to tell since the person standing there was wearing one of Lance’s hoodies with the hood up and staring down at the ground, leaving their face invisible to Keith. 

“Hey, Lance?” Keith cleared his throat.

“Keith! Hey, babe.” Lance cheered in a way that was odd, his voice cracking half way through ‘babe’, and he didn’t look up. “Come on in” he opened the door further to let Keith in. “Have a seat, I’ll...uh...be right back” Lance was speaking like always did with cheer and everything but something was wrong. It was like he wasn’t really  _ in  _ it. Before Keith could say anything, Lance had run up the stairs and out of earshot. 

Lance wasn’t gone for a  _ long  _ time but he wasn’t “right back” either. So Keith grew restless, standing up and moving around the room, looking over the pictures he’d seen tons of times now and brushing his fingers over the dust that settled over the television. He was deep in thought, imagining what it must be like to be a part of such a beautiful and gigantic family like Lance’s, where they all laughed and comforted each other when they were upset, when he heard it.

_ Bzzz! _

_ Bzzz! _

_ Bzzz! _

_ Bzzz! _

_ Bzzz! _

Once he heard it, he realized it wasn’t stopping. Each second there was another buzz. A text notification most likely. He turned to the source of the noise, Lance’s cell phone. It was upside down on the dining table. He knew he shouldn’t look at it, it’s rude to go through people’s things after all, but...what if it’s an emergency? What if his sisters’ are in trouble or Mari had a flat tire on the side of the road in a dangerous neighborhood? After some debate, Keith walked up to the table where the phone was still insistently buzzing. He lifted it up and read the messages. They were coming in so fast Keith could hardly keep up with them. Unknown numbers, at 10 of them, were texting Lance. 

_ How’s it going, fag? _

_ Can’t you tell that no one wants you here? _

_ Everyone would be happier if you just killed yourself _

_ Can’t believe you tricked Keith into being a fag too. Told everyone it was contagious _

_ Can’t you go annoy someone else with your sluttiness instead of being in my way? _

And so many more, piling in at an alarming rate that stole Keith’s breath. He couldn’t breathe. Who were these people? How’d they get Lance’s number? Why--

His train of thought was cut off when a hand roughly grabbed the cell phone from his hands. “What the fuck are you doing?” Lance bit out, now looking Keith hard in the face with a look of anger that Keith had never seen. 

One look at Lance’s face nearly knocked him over. His entire face was black and blue. Both eyes bruised, his nose, still unhealed from the last incident, even darker, his lip split in two different places and there was dried blood running down the side of his face.

“Lance” Keith breathed. 

“Who gave you the right to go through my fucking stuff?!” Lance was still angry, right. The phone was still buzzing but Lance was unaffected by it. “Keith!” 

Keith snapped back to reality. “I thought….I thought it was an emergency...I had no idea…”

“Yeah, you had no idea because I didn’t want you to!” Lance yelled. “God, why can’t you just mind your own goddamn business?!”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Keith practically whispered.

“Why?! Why?!” He laughed humorlessly, “Why would I?!” 

“I thought you trusted me--?”

“I do! But you with your swooping in whenever you see a problem, only makes things worse for me! I don’t need or want you butting into my problems, I can handle myself!”

Anger built in Keith’s gut as he heard Lance’s rant. “Oh yeah, I really saw how well you “handled yourself.” You should put some fucking ice on your eyes” He bit out. How dare Lance get angry with him for standing up for him. 

“I don’t need someone babying me!”

“All you _are_ is a baby!”  

* * *

As soon as the words left Keith’s mouth, Lance shut down. All he could hear was Zarkon’s buddies, 

_ “Awe, the wittle baby gonna cry?”  _

_ “Does someone need their binky?” _

_ “He needs someone to beat the shit out of him” _

_ “Stop being a pussy.” _

Lance froze, anger piercing his chest. “Get out.” He muttered through clenched teeth.

“What?” Keith scoffed. 

“Get out. Get. Out. Get the  _ fuck  _ out!” He screamed, marching up to Keith and pushing him towards the door. 

“Fine, whatever. I don’t need this shit” Keith grumbled, storming to the door and slamming it on his way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS IM SORRY HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS IDK IF I'LL BE ABLE TO UPDATE AGAIN TILL LATER BECAUSE IM ACTUALLY GONNA BE SOCIAL!! *GASP* 
> 
> COMMENT PLSSSSSSSSSSSSS ILY ALL
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING FOR HOMOPHOBIC LANGUAGE!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING SELF HARM !!!! BE CAREFUL ILY SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> But otherwise, enjoy :)  
> (Also, sorry this is terrible,,,)

It’d been 2 days since Lance kicked Keith out of his house. Two days since Keith had told Lance he didn’t need his shit. And 2 days since things had gone from bad to worse. Lance had shut down after Keith slammed the door behind him, his brain not processing as he collapsed to the floor, the sound of buzzing phone still barging through his thoughts. He couldn’t think as his screams mixed with his sobs and he managed to stand himself up and make it to his room. He wasn’t thinking as he tore through his room, looking for it or anything like it. He couldn’t remember if he’d flushed all of them or if he’d saved one. He was numb as he felt under his mattress before feeling the familiar metallic object. He didn’t process as he broke a promise he’d made himself nearly 3 months ago. Or maybe he didn’t care.

* * *

 

Keith totally didn’t notice that when Lance’s car pulled up the next day, there was no roar of the engine. No blaring music to annoy everyone. Just silence. He totally didn’t notice or care. He also didn’t notice how Lance was wearing his hood and sunglasses. 

“Is he okay?” Pidge asked, noticing Lance’s appearance and silent entrance. 

“Don’t know, don’t care.” Keith shrugged, turning away and heading to class, not listening as Pidge turned to him with concern etched on her face and asked what happened. He didn’t care and frankly, he wasn’t in the mood to deal with his anger today. “I was better off before I ever spoke to that fucking kid.” 

* * *

Lance stepped out of his car and for the first time in weeks, wasn’t greeted by Keith, which totally didn’t sting at all.  _ You can’t be upset, you pushed him away. It’s better that way anyway...I mean how long did you expect him to put up with your bullshit?  _ A little ways away, he saw Keith look over at him and then look away before turning and walking to class--biology. Keith’s first period every other day. He hated that he knew that.

* * *

 

“Ooh, looky here boys, at the look of McClain. Looks like someone finally put him in his place” Some idiot jock smirked loudly, stepping closer to Lance and putting his index finger against the bruise forming on his jawline. “Who was it? I wanna send them a thank you card” Lance gulped, knowing that trying to fight back or run away would only make things worse for himself. “Too bad they didn’t finish the job, though.” The jock shrugged sadly, “what I’d give to never have to see your ugly face again” He laughed, flicking one of Lance’s bruises, before him and the others with him turned and left Lance alone once again. 

Lance shut his eyes against the tears that were swelling in them, trying to remember how to breathe.

_ He’s right, you know. _

_ How many people in this school would  _ **_pay_ ** _ to see you dead? _

_ How many people’s lives would be better if it wasn’t for your worthless presence? _

He opened his swollen eyes and turned to walk to the cafeteria and froze. At the end of the hall stood Keith, who was just staring at him. Lance thought for a moment that maybe Keith would come towards him and his mind raced as he tried to think of what he would do if he did...but Keith turned on his heel and walked in the opposite direction. Lance sighed heavily, his chest tight. 

Lance hadn’t meant to ruin things between them but that day...his anxiety had hit its breaking point, leaving Lance on the edge of having 10 panic attacks in a row, between the encounter with Zarkon and the messages flooding his phone. He couldn’t take it and when Keith had shown up, it had started boiling over. He didn’t want Keith to see his bruises because then, not only would Keith see how pathetic he truly was when no one was there to save him, but he knew Keith would try to get involved. The last time he charged in to help, Zarkon had just retaliated harder and Lance didn’t want to see what would happen this time. That’s why when Lance retreated upstairs to calm himself down from the anxiety attack he was on the brink of only to return to Keith going through his phone, he lost it. He felt betrayed that Keith would invade his privacy but he also felt panicked because all of his fears had a possibility of becoming reality. He hadn’t meant to kick Keith out of his life but when Keith had called him a baby, all of Zarkon’s harsh words were all Lance could hear and he needed Keith to leave. So, in anger, he screamed for the other to get out. He hadn’t meant for him to leave for good. Just for the time being. But Lance hadn’t explained that and Keith couldn’t possibly know that, so this is where they were. Avoiding eye contact and pretending they never knew one another. Or at least, that seemed to be Keith’s strategy. And Lance pretended that that didn’t crush his heart every second of the day.

* * *

“Keith” Shiro sighed as he stood in the doorway of Keith’s room. Keith was playing some video game, not even looking up from where he was kicking the shit out of some character. 

“Shiro” he replied, his voice monotone. 

“What happened?” 

“Nothing happened, why do you think something happened? Did Pidge say something?” 

“No, Pidge didn’t say anything but….I think that guy’s dead” he stated bluntly.

Keith sighed and paused the game. “It’s dumb” he said, swinging his legs off the side of the bed and dropping the controller. 

“I’m sure it’s not that bad” He reassured but all Keith could hear was Lance’s voice when he had told Sofia the same thing. Keith pressed his palms to his eyes and groaned. 

“Just some dumb fight with Lance.” 

“Over?”

“His phone was blowing up so I picked it up and…” he trailed off because it was pretty obvious what happened. 

“I mean, why did you pick it up?”

“I thought maybe there was an emergency and that if no one answered…” Keith’s voice got stuck in his throat and he made a choking noise and looked down at his hands. 

“Something terrible could happen?” Shiro finished, moving into the room and sitting next to Keith on the bed. Keith didn’t respond but Shiro already knew the answer. “Did you tell him why you picked it up?” Keith shook his head. Shiro knew that Keith didn’t like to talk about it with anyone and that he’d rather burn some bridges before he had to talk about his feelings. He pulled the younger boy into a hug. “I know that it’s hard...to talk about...but maybe you need to trust Lance...if you want this to work.” Keith was silent but Shiro heard the way he sniffled and could tell he was holding back tears. “Obviously, he means something to you because you’ve been acting off for the past couple of days and I’m assuming it has to do with Lance. You don’t have to take my advice but if you want things to get better, you have to go through the ugly parts too.”

* * *

Lance and his family were sitting in the living room when the doorbell rang. Lance’s sister, Maria, stood and answered it before returning. “It’s for you, Lance. Some boy...he looks upset.”

Lance had been dreading seeing Keith again and now his heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest, but Lance stood up and made his way to the door. There stood Keith, wearing a black hoodie over black jeans, his hood pulled over his head. When Lance got to the door, he looked up at Lance. 

“Can-” he cut off when his voice cracked, “can we talk? I was thinking we could go for a walk.”

Lance glanced back at his sister, who nodded, and nodded to Keith. He shut the door behind him and followed Keith down the stairs. He wasn’t sure what to say, or if he even could when his heart was in his throat, so he didn’t say anything and neither did Keith as they walked in silence. Finally, they hit the park that was 5 blocks down from Lance’s house. Keith headed to the swings and sat down, Lance following in suit. Lance opened his mouth to say something but Keith beat him to it. 

“I didn’t live with Shiro for the first 11 years of my life” his voice was small and wavering, “when I was 11, I was pretty average happy kid. Mom. Dad. House with a backyard. The whole package….” Lance was unsure what Keith was getting at but he didn’t wanna interrupt so he waited as Keith cleared his throat and pushed the toe of his shoe into the dirt. “We were going on this vacation one winter...it snowed the night before and the ground was covered in fresh snow but my dad said we’d be fine to drive in it. That it wasn’t dangerous. So I believed him, hell I believed anything. Somewhere during the trip, I fell asleep. There was music playing and my mom was humming along while my dad drove. I woke up a little while later to my mom laughing about something my dad had said. They were both laughing. They looked so happy...and my dad turned to look at me for a second….one second...on a clear road and all of a sudden there was nothing happy about it. A 18 wheeler honked as it rounded the corner and swered directly into the driver’s side of the car. My car spun more than 3 times before it turned over and stopped. My mother was screaming and the music stopped as the radio got busted up. My father had gone quiet the moment of the impact.” Keith stopped for a moment, his voice getting stuck in his throat, “I-I couldn’t see anything. There was too much snow and smoke.” He stopped again, keeping his head down. “I got out of the car but my mom was stuck inside and my father was unconscious. My mom handed me her phone, told me to call 911 for help. I did and they told me they were on their way. Everything was fine for a little while too….my mom was awake and relatively unharmed. My dad had a head injury but that seemed to be the extent of his injuries...at least the visible ones….” He paused, swallowing hard enough that Lance could see his Adam’s apple shift up and down. “We thought we’d be alright….we were gonna be alright...until that car rounded the corner….it was going too fast and there wasn’t enough time or room for him to slow down before he hit the side of my car” Lance nearly jumped when he heard Keith choke on a sob. He’d barely seen Keith truly laugh more than once and here he was now, crying. “The car rolled...it just kept” hiccup “rolling and rolling and then it wasn’t...it wasn’t rolling anymore...it was falling, crashing into the side of the mountain--” he pressed a hand to his mouth but the sound of his sobs was uncontainable. 

In that moment, Lance forgot everything. He forgot about the fact that Keith had betrayed his trust and that he’d walked by him being picked on. Because this was a boy pouring his heart out in a way Lance didn’t even think possible and he wasn’t going to brush him off after that. “The cops came 2 minutes later. 2 minutes. If I had gotten on the phone two minutes earlier, my family would still be here.” 

He still didn’t know what the connection to this and their fight was, but Lance figured it was coming. “When I heard your phone going crazy, I thought...I thought if someone was trying to reach you...that desperately...what if something...what if time would mean the difference between life and--” And then Lance understood. Keith hadn’t picked up Lance’s phone because he figured Lance wouldn’t mind or to put his nose where he didn’t belong. He did it because he was terrified of what would happen if he didn’t. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” he whimpered into Lance’s neck as the boy pulled him in tighter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT PLSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
> 
>  
> 
> ILY


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're gonna hate me in the beginning but by the end i hope you forgive me....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning:  
> -Anxiety attack  
> -Making out (nothing below the belt so....)
> 
> ILY ALL COMMENT PLS :)

Keith hadn’t wanted to tell Lance, he was still pissed about the other day and thought he shouldn’t be the one to apologize, but Keith’ll be damned if he lost this bet and let _Pidge_ win. If he had to give up one his secrets to gain Lance’s trust back, so what, right? Show Lance how much he trusted him and showed that he had some emotion and make him trust him. He thought maybe this one secret would cover for him walking straight past when Lance was being bullied as well. What had Shiro said? If he wanted things to get better, he’d have get through the bad stuff? Yeah. That’s what he was doing. It’s not like this was anything less than Lance deserved, he had still had to audacity to yell at Keith for defending him just because Keith had actually spoken. Lance didn’t want him to actually speak, he just wanted someone standing next to him. It was such a typical Lance thing. Shut up and look nice. He had to shown Lance that he couldn't just treat people the way he did, or he'd just continue hurting people. So, he was going through with this. One last thing to do, though.

“Thanks…” he mumbled after some time. “...for, uh, not laughing I guess”

“Of course...thanks for sharing that with me, I know it couldn’t be easy.” Keith just nodded and looked down. “Honestly, I’m just shocked it was you”

Keith looked up in confusion. “Huh?” What the fuck did that mean? Keith felt himself getting angry again for a reason he couldn’t pinpoint. It felt like the more time he spent with Lance, the more angrier he became over nothing.

“I mean I’m the emotional one out of the two of us, so I’m shocked that it was you who ended up in tears first” Lance laughed. Laughed. Keith hadn’t faked any emotions during his speech and something dark twisted in his chest when he heard Lance laughing at the fact that he’d been in tears. Keith forced himself to chuckle in a way he hoped didn’t sound bitter. Lance showed no signs of noticing so Keith assumed he’d succeeded.

They fell silent once more and Lance began to stand up, rambling about needing to get back before his family worried or something but Keith caught his hand. “Lance.” He said, making his voice smaller than normal to feign nervousness. The other looked at Keith and stopped. “I made another mistake…” Lance’s eyebrows furrowed with concern, his mouth opening slightly as he began to say “what.” Keith stood up next him, purposefully close to Lance. “That day...in the kitchen...I should’ve done something and I have regretted not doing anything since that day…” Lance’s mouth formed a small ‘o’ as Keith leaned in closer. _Final piece to make him fall_. “I intend to fix that” he said before cupping Lance’s chin with one hand and closing the distance between their lips.  

* * *

It was Monday morning and Keith was standing in front of the spot that Lance had just pulled

Into. The boy had run out of the car, immediately rushing forward and grabbing Keith’s hand, pressing a kiss to Keith’s lips.

“Good morning, boyfriend” he chirped, smiling at his boyfriend.

“Good morning, boyfriend." Keith played along, "So, I was thinking, do you wanna come over tonight?” This was kinda big in Lance’s eyes. In all the time they’d been dating--about a month and a half Lance realized-- he’d never been into Keith’s house further than the front entrance. He smiled and nodded, about to tell a joke about how Keith just wanted him to come over to get with him but then he thought of that look he always got when he said stuff like that and shut his mouth. _You just got lucky the last time, don’t fuck it up._

“Sure thing, babe” then he turned to where Hunk was speaking, asking him something about his sister or something. 

* * *

Today, Keith picked Lance up from his classroom and walked with him to lunch, claiming that he was nearby but Lance sensed it was his way of apologizing for Friday when he walked straight past. Today, Lance’s anxiety was actually pretty alright as well, his mind seemingly calling a cease fire on it’s assault. All in all Lance was happy as he left his classroom, saw Keith and immediately broke out into a huge smile.

* * *

Keith turned the key and pushed the door open, he turned back to Lance and sent the other a small smile. Lance stepped in after Keith and stopped. Keith’s house was beautiful. He’d seen it when he picked Keith up a few weeks ago, but not to this extent. Every corner and decoration was purposefully chosen and it brought the whole room together, unlike Lance’s house that was just a bunch of styles pressed together. It didn’t look too expensive either, just like the right taste for cheap things brought together. It’d never occurred to Lance before now, but he didn’t know much about his family like what his parents did or if they even had money. Based on the looks of the house they had enough but Keith and his brother didn’t have cars and Keith wore a variety of the same clothes pretty often. Thinking back on it, maybe Keith wasn’t that well off. _Way to go, genius, all you’ve done since meeting him is rub your money in his face._ He thought back to their first date, when Keith had fearfully looked around the nice restaurant, asking if it was expensive. _Idiot._

“Your house is beautiful” Lance let out a breathy laugh in attempt to distract himself from his mind’s degrading.

“Uh...thanks. Shiro’s mom’s an interior designer so y’know, that paid off. She knows how to make the little things look great together.” Keith shrugged, “want a drink?”

“Water?”

“Sure thing” He said, turning around and going to the kitchen.

Lance went over to Keith’s living room. His own living room was scattered with various picture frames and memory filled items, while Keith’s was not. In fact, there didn’t seem to be a single frame or souvenir in sight. It made Lance kinda sad, didn’t he have any pictures here?.

“Hello?” A deep voice spoke behind him and made him jump. He turned around to see a man, probably no older than Marco who was 22, standing by the stairs with a look of confusion on his face. “Who are you?”

This must be Shiro, Lance realized. Shiro was only the person Keith spoke highest of, so you know, _no pressure_ _but if you fuck this up, you can forget about Keith._ He plastered a smile on his face.

“Oh...Lance McClain at your service” Lance snapped back to reality and bowed, waving his arms widely. The man laughed slightly making Lance’s anxiety over meeting Keith’s family decrease a little bit. He isn’t so bad, he looks pretty nice.

“Oh, Keith’s boyfriend, right?” Lance hadn’t heard that from someone else’s lips before and he didn’t know how great it was going to feel as those words hit him, a burst of happiness at the thought and bringing a wide grin to his face.

“Yeah...yeah that’s me”

“What’s you?” Keith re entered the room, handing Lance the glass.

“Your boyfriend” Lance smiled and slightly nudging Keith who smiled slightly.

“Oh...uh….yeah” he mumbled nervously, looking down. _He’s cute, getting all embarrassed._

 _You can’t be this thick, he is embarrassed because he didn’t want to tell his family that he was really choosing to be with you. They all know that you’re a whore and he doesn’t want you telling people._ His mind butt in angrily. Lance’s smile faltered for .2 seconds before it was back, brighter than ever.

“Uh, so you wanna go to my room?” Keith asked him, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Ooh...tryin get me alone?” Lance winked suggestively and Keith shook his head.

“Yeah, so I can kill you” He said dryly and Lance laughed as Keith took his hand and dragged him up the stairs. “See you later, Shiro”

“My mom’s gonna be home in a little while” Shiro called after them.

“You should really work on your hospitality” Lance said as Keith raised a hand to give Shiro a thumbs up. “Why do you guys call her “Shiro’s mom’?”

Keith faltered for a second before continuing “I’m just not comfortable with it.” He paused and then opened the door closest to them. “This is my room, it’s small, I know” Keith said.

His room was...neater than Lance imagined--He’s not even gonna lie and say he hasn’t imagined Keith’s room. There were a couple of posters on the wall of bands he’d never heard of or never listened to. His walls were painted a dark red and his floor was dark brown wood. His only window had a sheet covering it and his bed was made with a plaid quilt over it. He had a small desk that clearly hadn’t been used often and a TV with a video game console hooked up. Over the walls were tiny stars and planets, the kind that glow in the dark for little kids. It was odd to see but somehow it worked with his room.

“I know it’s not like 5 star or anything--”

“Nah, I like it. It’s very you” Lance smiled, walking over to the bed. A normal person would ask if they could sit on the bed but Lance wasn’t normal so he simply jumped and landed on the bed. “So whatchu wanna do, space boy?” He nodded at the stars. Keith’s face flushed, _adorably._ Lance didn’t understand how a 17 year old boy could be adorable and hot all at the same time.

“Those were from when I was like 12 years old, gimme a break” he hid his face, but Lance could see the tiny smile he was hiding.

“Its cute.” Lance said, leaning back onto his elbow and side so that he was still facing Keith as he sat down on the bed next to him. “Just like you.” he moved closer. And closer, until he was in Keith’s face, feeling his breath on his face and seeing all the colors in his purple eyes. “You have very pretty eyes…so purple” he drawled out slowly, his voice low. Keith’s face flushed again and he swallowed visibly, making his adam’s apple shift. Lance moved even closer so that they were nearly touching. “Just tell me if you want me to stop” He whispered, lingering right over his ear before drifting down to his jawline. He slowly pressed his lips to Keith’s jawline, sucking and biting before moving down and repeating the process. Keith was breathing irregularly and Lance couldn’t help but smile against Keith’s neck when he heard the breathless moan that escaped Keith’s lips. “You like that?” When Keith didn’t respond, he pulled away and sat back, only for Keith to make a noise of confusion. “You didn’t answer me” Lance said softly, faking innocence. “I asked if you like it?” Keith nodded quickly and desperately, practically begging for contact. Lance smirked and leaned back in sitting up now and swinging his leg over Keith’s lap, pressing his body against Keith. He put one hand into Keith’s mullet and one on his neck, pulling him in closer and kissing him, deepening the kiss more and more and then--

 

Pulling away.

 

Keith whined-- _actually whined--_ at Lance. “Lance...please” he begged breathless and desperate. “Please”

Lance smirked and pushed Keith back so that he was lying down before straddling his hips. He leaned forward and kissed Keith hard, slowly and deliberately. “More...please” Keith was begging.

“What was that? Slower?” Lance teased with his lips right next to Keith’s ear, slowing his lips as he moved back down to Keith’s neck and fiddled with the hem of his shirt. Keith looked so hot, his lips spread slightly, allowing the breathless moans to pass through them effortlessly, and his eyes fluttered shut from pleasure. The way Keith was writhing around desperate for Lance to touch him only made it even hotter. He started pulling Keith’s shirt up slowly as he kissed his neck and Keith, frantically, grabbed the end of his shirt and pulled it over his head. “Someone’s eager, aren’t they?” He smirked. He paused for a beat, just looking down at Keith’s body. He was surprisingly fit for someone Lance had never seen work out before. He chuckled as he leaned down and began kissing and sucking down Keith’s torso. His hands wrapped under Keith’s back as Keith arched his back and a more audible moan escaped. “Shh...shh...shh…” Lance whispered, his breath hitting Keith’s abs. “Don’t want Shiro to hear us.” He worked his hands towards Keith’s waist and pulled at the belt loop, and--

 

“A-are-are you sure…?” Lance could tell Keith was struggling when he put his hand on Lance’s, eyes open now and looking at Lance. “W-we don’t have...have to”

 

_Oh._

_Oh…_

_Stupid. How could you think he’d want to actually be with you? To be with such a whore? He could never do that.  He’s too good, too perfect for that and here you are, trying to taint his perfection._

_You dumb, idiotic, self centered whore. Can’t you think of someone other than yourself for 5 fucking seconds?_

* * *

 Lance leaned back quickly, as though Keith’s chest was suddenly on fire. Something changed and all of a sudden it was Lance who was out of breath. But not because he was turned on or desperate for touch but...for what Keith was unsure. It seemed to be getting away from Keith that he was longing for. As though Keith was suddenly a combustible fire, Lance jumped up and Keith sat up, confusion etched on his face. “Lance?”

“I’m sorry...I shouldn’t...I shouldn’t have assumed you’d want--I just…” He tried to explain, his words fumbling together and his face crumpling. Keith panicked. He never meant to hurt him. He’d just wanted to be sure that he wanted to. “I’m sorry...I can leave if you want--”

“No, Lance, no. That’s not what I want. What I want is for you to explain to me what just happened.” He tried to speak calmly, standing up now.

Lance’s eyes were filling with tears and streaming down his face and he grabbed at his shirt collar and pulled, his breath coming in short gasps. Lance’s knees gave out and he fell to the floor, crumpling. Keith didn’t know what was happening or how to deal with it. Was Lance having...an anxiety attack? Over Keith asking if he was sure? Surely someone like Lance has slept with someone before, right? And even if he hasn’t, things were going great before that so why would something like that set him off?

He kneeled down next to Lance and tried to look at his eyes. “Hey, hey. Lance, you need to breathe.” _Duh, obviously stupid, tell him something helpful._ “Can you focus on me for a sec, just look at me” He placed his hand on Lance’s cheek, guiding him to look up. “Look at my eyes okay” he said. He’d never truly noticed ~~how **beautifully**~~ blue Lance’s eyes were, and if it was any other situation, he’d be mesmerized but he had to focus. He took Lance’s hand and put it over his chest where his heart is. “Can you copy my breathing? Yeah, just like that” He encouraged as Lance nodded and forced himself to take a deep breath and realign his breathing with Keith’s steady pulse. “You’re doing great”

When Lance stopped hyperventilating and all he had left were quiet hiccups, he looked at the ground, ashamed. _Oh my god, what a screw up. You can’t even handle one stupid question without falling apart? What the fuck?_

Keith brought a hand under his chin and forced him to look up at him. “Hey...it’s alright. You don’t have to be ashamed…” he gave Lance a smile. Lance did his best to give a small, tired smile to show Keith that he was better now. “Yeah, that’s it. Come here, we can lie down and watch some dumb reality TV. Does that sound good?” Lance took a deep breath and slowly nodded, not even knowing how to express his gratefulness over how Keith handled the entire situation, so he didn’t try. He would make it up to him later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ILY ALL COMMENT PLS :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SO I didn't like the direction I was going in, so I redid this chapter (just the end) I hope you like it :) <3

Lance grabbed Keith’s outstretched hand and stood up, still avoiding Keith’s eyes. “Come here” Keith said, laying down and patting the spot next to him. Lance felt terrible. Keith and him had been having a good time until Lance had to be himself again and fuck things up.

“We could still...if that’s what you wanna do…’cause we were having a good time...until….” He offered, looking at the ground.

 

Keith’s heart dropped into his stomach at Lance’s words. He felt like he was going to be sick. He was offering to _ignore_ his panic attack not even 5 minutes ago because he thought it’s what Keith wanted? Who was this? What happened to the loud, obnoxious, in your face kid who didn’t care who he bothered? Who was this quiet boy who was trying so hard to fold in on himself and not talk because he seemed to fear bothering anyone.

“Don’t be ridiculous” he said, sitting up, swinging his legs off the side of the bed, taking Lance’s hand. “I’m sorry, but I can’t ignore what just happened and I would never make you do that right after you got so clearly anxious about it” he shook his head, trying to meet Lance’s downcast eyes.

Lance shook his head. “I wasn’t...wasn’t freaked by the thought of having sex with you…”

Keith scrunched his eyebrows. “Then what?” He asked, pulling Lance closer so he was standing between his legs. Lance shook his head. “C’mon, you can trust me”

“I-I know but it’s stupid”

“Not if it makes you upset, it’s not”

He bit his lip. “I-I’m...I’m broken...I’m no good.” He shrugged. Keith didn’t understand. The Lance he knew had always jumped on every chance he found to tell the world how amazing and better than everyone he was. Where had this come from?

Keith shook his head, not understanding, mumbling “no you’re not.”

“I am, Keith!” He raised his voice slightly, pulling away, “I...I have these dumb panic attacks nearly every fucking day for no reason...and…I just get fucking upset over nothing and...and I over think every move I make and every word I say….and….”

“That doesn’t make you broken.” Keith shook his head again.

“Then what does it make me?” Lance looked away, his side profile showing that his cheeks and eyes were pink from crying and rubbing. His bottom lip was quivering slightly from holding back tears. He looked so...different from what Keith had thought.

“Human? Perfectly imperfect? Lance?” Keith said, pulling Lance back in. “I don’t care if you think you’re broken, I don’t. I think you’re perfect.”

A tear fell from Lance’s eye as he looked up to meet Keith’s eyes. “You really...don’t think I’m fucked up?”

“Never” He promised, pulling Lance into a kiss, before tugging him onto the bed. “Now, what do you wanna watch? Comedy? Action?”

“Romance?” Lance asked, looking over at his boyfriend with a small pleading smile.

“Fine” he sighed, handing Lance the remote. “Choose one” he said, in response, Lance cheered.

...

...

Lance had stayed over that night but Keith hadn’t slept at all, just laid there next to Lance. Staring at this boy who he’d so harshly misjudged. All the anger Keith had felt toward the boy in front of him had vanished. He’d been wrong, he realized. He’d done this whole stupid fucking thing because he thought McClain was a self-centered asshole who thought he was better than everyone. He’d never seen the side of him that offered to have sex after a panic attack just to please the other one, he’d never seen the boy who yelled that he was broken. He’d never seen him truly sob and collapse in front of him.  He hadn’t seen the boy who legitimately cried during romance movies. He didn’t see any of that before and now he didn’t know what he was doing anymore. Keith felt like throwing up thinking about how he’d almost crushed Lance’s heart, almost been so heartless.

The alarm went off at 6:30 but Keith was awake already, in the kitchen. He knew Lance didn’t know about the bet but he still felt like he had a boulder sitting in his chest and stomach, crushing his lungs and internal organs.

When Lance stepped into the kitchen, Keith handed him a plate with pancakes and eggs. “Good morning, babe. How you feeling?” Lance, wide eyed and still half asleep, smiled.

“Better now that I have pancakes!”

Lance’s smile made the boulder in his chest push down further on his lungs and Keith took a deep, shaky breath before flashing a fake smile at Lance when he looked over.

 

…

…

 

Lance and Keith started coming back to Keith’s after school instead of Lance’s after that. There was less of a risk of a brother or sister intruding--especially when, 3 weeks after that incident, Shiro informed them that he’d be staying at Allura’s. His parents, workaholics, would be on some business trip that night, apparently Shiro’s mom was designing a house for someone in Peru, because they’d personally asked for her. Anyway, the house would be empty. Lance, of course, had heard that and begged to stay the night. Keith had been like paper in the wind the second Lance pulled out the puppy dog eyes that he exceeded at--as Keith had figured out.

Keith had also found out that many of the things that had annoyed the shit out of him before, didn’t bother him as much.

“Hey baby” Lance came up behind him at lunch, moving his hair and nibbling on the edge of his ear. Keith turned and kissed him before pulling him to the cafeteria.

“Hey” he said, smiling as he felt Lance snake his arm around his waist. He ignored the confused glance that Pidge sent him and instead asked Lance how his day was, which sent him into a long rant about how his english teacher had given him a bad grade on a project he had spent hours on.

“Keith?” Pidge cut off Lance’s story. Lance cut off, looking mock offended.

“Pidge, didn't your parents ever teach you not to interrupt?” Lance joked. He knew Pidge didn’t like him that much, it'd been obvious in the way she blew him off when they'd first met and Lance pretended not to be crushed that his boyfriend’s best friend hated him. Pretended it didn’t make his chest hurt.

Pidge ignored his comment, staring directly at Keith. “Keith. Can I talk to you?” Keith turned to her in shock before nodding.

“Babe, I’ll be right back” Keith reassured with an odd look on his face. Lance nodded and watched as Keith and Pidge exited the cafeteria.

…

…

“What’re you doing?” Pidge muttered as she dragged Keith down the hall.

“Sitting with my boyfriend…?” Keith played dumb but Pidge just gave his the sideway look she always does and he sighed. “I’m done, I lose. Whatever man.”

“What just like that?” She scoffed. “What happened to the plan?”

“I was wrong. He’s sweet and selfless and cares so much about other people. I mean he does so much to make sure that anyone he meets is happy and he puts everyone’s happiness before his own. And have you _seen_ him laugh? I mean, I think his laugh could cure wars…” Keith stopped, realizing he was going on, “I’m done with this I can’t do it. I actually like him” Pidge’s face relaxed and she broke into a smile.

“Oh my god, you do!” She exclaimed. “Yes, my plan worked!”

“Wait, plan?” Keith froze. “What plan?” He crossed his arms at her as she froze in her cheer and bit her lip.

“Plan? Did I say plan? I meant….uh…” she struggled.

“Pidge”

“Nothing”

“Katie Holt, I swear to God”

“Okay, okay! So, I knew that once you got over all the shit that bothered you, you would fall for Lance so I made it a challenge because I know you’re a sucker for a challenge. If it worked out, you’d realize you didn’t wanna go through with it and stop the bet.” she shrugged and then ran when she looked at Keith’s face.

“Don’t kill me, you’re supposed to thank me and call me a genius!”

…

…

“Not another rom-com. I can’t handle it” Keith groaned, throwing his head back again Lance’s that was wrapped around his shoulder.

They were dating almost 2 and a half months now and Keith couldn't lie. All that anger he'd held for Lance had faded when he realized how much of Lance's personality was an act to not let anyone get close to him. When he saw that he just needed to get closer and be persistent to learn that there was more to Lance than a flashy, attention seeking, well off kid. That behind the facade, there was a lovable, adorable, _hot as fuck,_ guy.  

“But they’re so sweet. It’s like watching dreams come true” Lance complained. Keith didn’t respond, but Lance felt his eyes on him. He turned, a laugh bubbling in his throat. “What?”

 

Keith loved Lance. There wasn’t a single doubt in his mind. Every move that Lance made made Keith’s head spin and his heart pound faster. Every time Lance launched into a story, he found himself happier than he’d been in a long time, just listening to him. Every time he saw Lance on the edge of panicking, he saw the way Lance calmed at his touch and voice. Everything about him, even the stuff that he thought he hated, drove him crazy. How could he have almost crushed this beautiful, wonderful, kind boy’s heart?

He came to this realization as he stared at Lance; at his beautiful blue ocean eyes that swelled with tears when he thought he let someone down and his perfect lips that could talk for hours (which Keith was okay with, as long as he could watch them move) and that could steal the words straight from Keith’s mouth, to his brown skin that made Keith look like a vampire (“just warn me before you bite me” Lance had teased when he had told him that) and that was softer than baby’s skin and the freckles that littered Lance’s face (the ones that Lance was insecure about, he had learned after he’d mentioned and Lance had covered his face with his hands, telling Keith not to look at them because they were ugly.)

 

 

“If I wanted that, I could just look at you” Keith said, his tone dead serious.

Lance froze. He’d never felt like this. Never felt this passion bubbling in his stomach, never felt the swelling of his heart every time someone spoke, never felt the absolute desire to be with someone all the time. Before this, he thought it was something that only existed in the movies. It terrified him but in the best possible way. He never wanted to be without Keith, the one who said all the right things and talked his down from anxiety attacks and looked him in a way that made Lance’s heart melt and his legs turn to jelly.

Lance pulled Keith into a kiss, still smiling as he deepened the kiss. Keith moaned against Lance’s lips. _God,_ Lance loved hearing him moan. The couple had been leaning against the wall of Keith’s room on his bed but Lance pushed them into a laying position, only disconnecting their lips to remove his shirt and then Keith’s, their half naked bodies rubbing against each other. Lance disconnected from Keith, something Keith was going to complain about, until he felt Lance kissing down his torso, making his way down. “This….” he panted, pressing another kiss to Keith’s chest. “Okay?”Keith nodded frantically. Lance smiled, he loved it when Keith was like this, desperate for more. This time, he worked his hands to Keith’s belt and undid the belt without hesitation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor baby Lance....doesn't know what's coming  
> (By the way, it's unwritten but Keith and Pidge are not doing the bet because it was all a plan and they agreed never to tell Lance)
> 
> PLS COMMENT ILY


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
> -Sexual harrassment  
> -Cursing/degrading terms  
> -Panic attack

Keith didn’t feel guilty. Not even a little. Not even a small part of him. He totally did not feel scum of the earth as he laid next to a now sleeping Lance. That boulder, the one that was crushing his chest, had melted down into a tiny little pebble and Keith could breathe _just fine_ thanks for asking. These, of course, were all bold faced lies Keith told himself.

 _He’ll never find out_ He reasoned with himself, _no harm no foul right..?_

Sure, he could lie to himself all he wanted but it was getting harder to breathe by the second.

Lance shifted slightly, moving closer to Keith and Keith sighed, closing his eyes in attempt to sleep (he didn’t)

 ---

“Baby, it’s me” a familiar voice said as a pair of hands covered his eyes. The hands moved and Zarkon moved into view, his lips puckered as he leaned in close to Lance’s face. Lance scrunched his face and scooted away from Zack. Pidge, Hunk, and Keith had all gone to buy lunch and left Lance alone at the table; something Lance had been okay with until he realized that he was now alone for anybody to torment to him. “What? No kiss? I thought you were just the kinda slut who’d go for anyone? No?”

“Fuck off, Zarkon” Lance mumbled, turning away.

“I’m sorry, what the fuck did you say to me, bitch?” Zarkon demanded, grabbing the collar of Lance’s shirt and pulling him closer to him.

“I said fuck off, and now I’m saying that I’ve met rabid dogs with better breath than you” Lance laughed. Zarkon growled, which...was he trying to say he _was_ a dog?

“You’re gonna pay for that, McClain. Just wait” Lance raised his eyebrows in a expression he hoped came off as ‘wow, i’m terrified’ but internally he was panicking. On a good day Zarkon would pummel him into the ground. But now that he’s pissed him off, Lance couldn’t imagine what he’d do. Zarkon slammed his fist on the table before storming off. Lance tried to steady his breathing, trying to be optimistic, but his throat was closing and his vision was blurring. Distantly, he heard Keith telling Pidge some story but he couldn’t figure out what it was. He had to get a hold of himself. He didn’t want to worry Keith or his friends. _Deep breaths_ he instructed himself, _breathe. You’re fine. Don’t ruin things again. Everyone’s happy, they don’t need to deal with you getting worked up over bullshit._ And if he pressed his fingernails so hard into his palms that the half moon shapes drew blood, well, no one had to know.

 ---

“Suck my dick!” Lance screamed, trying to sit on Keith.

“Get off me, you three year old!” Keith fought back trying to see the screen. “You’re cheating!”

“No, no, no not the fucking shells.” He whined as Keith’s character shot turtle shells under his car and his character went spinning, lagging him behind Keith behind by .1 second. “You suck! You’re supposed to let me win, it’s the rules!”

Keith laughed looking over at his boyfriend, “what rules are these?”

“The boyfriend rules!”

“I want proof that these rules are legit”

Lance huffed, “oh, you want proof? You want proof?” Lance asked, turning and moving into Keith’s lap.

“Yeah, I want hardcore evidence”

“Oh, I’ll give you hard _something_ ” Lance smirked, leaning in.

Lance hadn't mentioned Zarkons threat to Keith figuring it would cause more drama than necessary and figured he's just focus on kissing Keith to distract him. It seemed to be working  

\---

A week later things were good. They were great, actually. They’d been hanging out everyday and Lance thought neither of them would ever get sick of the either. Zarkon hadnt followed through on his revenge and the bullying had calmed down drastically.

But, Lance guesses, everything was going great but everything that comes up must come down.

Lance walked up from his parking spot where Keith normal would be standing, only to see that he wasn’t there. _He’s probably just sick._ But that didn’t sit right. Keith would’ve texted, he knew how Lance was and he wouldn’t do that. He tried to just shrug it off and walked with Hunk over to the spot where he saw Pidge.

“Hey Pidge…” Hunk said and then as they got nearer, realized she was talking to someone, Keith. But he looked bad. Angry and upset all at once. “Keith”

Keith didn’t respond and Pidge went quiet when the two approached them.

“Hey babe, you weren’t by my spot this morning, what gives? You know I need my kiss in the morning to start my day” Lance broke the ice, a smile on his face as he walked over and threw his arm around Keith’s shoulder. Only instead of melting into his side like Keith usually would, he sighed and shifted away. “Babe? What’s wrong?” Lance’s chest tightened with worry, a knot that only tightened further when Keith just looked off in the other direction.

Had he done something? _Probably._ His mind answered for him.

_He’s probably done with you_

_All the good morning cheers and annoying chattering all day_

_Yapyapyap, that’s all you do_

_God, even your brain wants you to shut up_

“Keith?” He bit his lip and the boy turned to face him, his face full of anger.

“God, can you just leave me alone for like 5 minutes. Goddamnit” he raised his voice before putting up his hood and heading into the building.

Lance’s stomach clenched. He looked at Hunk in confusion before going to follow his boyfriend, only to have someone grab his wrist. He jerked around to see Pidge holding his wrist.

“Don’t.” she said tightly, “follow him.” Lance was confused. Why was she not comforting her best friend? Why wasn’t she letting him comfort his boyfriend? “Seriously,” her tone loosened, “and don’t take it personal, it’s not you. No really, he snapped at Shiro and his parents this morning and then at me during our walk to school. It’s nothing personal, it’s just….the day” she trailed off towards the end, her voice barely audible.

“What do you mean, the day?”

“It’s not really my business to tell…” she trailed off. “If and when he’s ready, he’ll tell you. Believe me, if he’s gonna tell anyone, he’s gonna tell you.” Lance tried to accept that. He did. Respect that Keith was hiding this from him, that he was struggling alone. Lance could deal with that, right? I mean, Keith’s a big boy, right? He’ll be fine.

 

\---

 

Lance couldn’t handle it because Keith avoided him the entire day, leaving Lance to miss his presence and everyone in the school seemed to pick today to go against him as well. In first period, he’d been hit by crumpled up looseleaf and in third, he’d been tripped on his way to his desk. The laughter that had followed him the entire day was crushing any confidence he had come to school with and making him more and more paranoid that something bad was gonna happen--especially after Zarkon’s threat the other day.

When he arrived at lunch, he practically collapsed at the table, folding his head into his arms. It wasn’t until he realized the table was very quiet and he looked up that he realized he’d sat at the wrong table...or that some people had sat at the wrong table and he had walked over to his normal table, where Zarkon and 10 other jocks and cheerleaders were sitting. “McClain, I know you have balls, but to just invite yourself to hang out with us like you belong is just too far.”

One of Zarkon’s best friends Lotor laughed. “Do you just have a death wish? Because we could arrange it” Zarkon’s girlfriend, Nyma, spat at him. Zarkon laughed as Lance stumbled to his feet to leave. “Hey, hey, hey! Where you going? The party was just getting started!” Zarkon put false cheer into his voice. “C’mon buddy, sit down!” Lance looked desperately around for Hunk, Pidge or Keith but to no avail. He was dragged into a seat and pushed in between two jocks who grinned widely at him.

Lance sat stiffly, trying not to anger anyone at the table as he desperately tried not to run or to pass out on the spot. “So, slut, does your _boyfriend_ know how many people you’ve sucked off? How many STDs you have? Or do you have him fooled that you’re _perfect_ ” One of the spit, venom pouring off their tongues. Lance didn’t respond, too focused on breathing until he felt the hand on his inner thigh. He shot away, suddenly 10 times more terrified than before, his breaths coming out in short and quick gasps. “Oh, look he’s so easy...all it takes is one little touch and he’s already halfway there.” He leaned close to his ear and practically growled the words. Lance shook his head, tears pushing in the back of his eyes.

“Wanna go somewhere? We’d never have to tell your fuck buddy.” Nyma purred into his other ear, sending chills down his spine. He shook his head, hoping that someone would see what was going on and do something. But who was he kidding? No one would stand up to them, there was a reason he wanted to get out so badly.

_C’mon, this is what you deserve_

_No one’s coming to save you because they all know it_

_It’s why Keith’s done with you_

_He finally saw you for the truly repulsive human being you are_

Lance wanted to scream but instead he bit his lip and pressed his nails into his palms.

“Come here, McClain” He heard Lotor demand and before he could even comply, he was grabbed by his collar and ripped from his seat. “I said come here. Be a good little boy and follow orders.” He hissed quietly while leading Lance into the bathroom, where he checked all the stalls before locking the door. Lance was shaking, terrified. He didn’t really know Lotor or what he would do. Lance would die if Lotor made him do anything. As Lotor came closer to him, saying something that Lance couldn’t hear over the ringing in his ears. Suddenly, a hand was coming down and hitting his cheek hard. “Are you listening to me, you pussy?” He demanded and Lance nodded frantically. Then Lotor backed Lance up until his back hit the wall before leaning in close to Lance’s mouth, so close that Lance had the fleeting thought of _this is it. He’s gonna do it and I’m gonna be able to do nothing._ Lotor was on the football team and Lance didn’t even play tennis. He’d be defenseless against Lotor or anyone else. Lotor paused when he was an inch from Lance’s mouth and whispered, “you smell like peaches..” The words were too nice to be said in such a threatening way. His tone had shouted “I’ll kill you” but his words had told him he smelled nice. Lance physically shook and a couple of tears fell from his eyes. “Awe, don’t cry. It’s alright” Lotor purred, reaching up and wiping his tears. Lance’s skin burned in the places Lotor’s fingers touched and for a moment, Lance thought he was actually burning him. “I’m not gonna hurt you, peach.” He lingered for a moment more, every second of which Lance thought he was lying and that he was going to beat and take him right there. But then, Lotor chuckled darkly and backed away. “Unless, of course, you blab about this little bonding moment....then I’ll destroy you” He said it all with a broad smile on his face. He walked over to the sink next to Lance and checked his reflection before turning and leaving the bathroom.

The second Lotor was gone, Lance’s legs gave out and he fell to the cold, disgusting ground-- where he belonged. He couldn’t bring himself to care because the second he was alone, the tears started and they kept coming and coming and coming and Lance thought they may never stop. His whole body was shaking and every part that had been touched or looked at burned. He wanted to burn their fingerprints off of him.

_Stop being a baby, they didn’t even do anything to you_

_Get up, you pussy_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY BUT JUST KNOW IT HURTS ME JUST AS MUCH AS IT HURTS YOU :(
> 
> PLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS COMMENT ILLLLLY :)


	11. Chapter 11

Lance wasn’t sure how he ended up back at his house. He didn’t know what time it was, if he’d skipped the rest of the day or if he’d just left. He didn’t know if he’d driven or if he’d just ran. He didn’t know, all he knew was that he sitting on his floor, a stolen bottle of whisky from mama’s forbidden cabinet next to him and his bleeding wrist laying on his lap. He hadn’t felt anything since he fell apart on the floor. He was faintly aware that he wasn’t crying, so that was good, but he still couldn’t feel anything. Lance thought passively that maybe that’s why he had cut his wrist-- to see if he’d feel it? That’s why he used to do it, in the very beginning before it became a habit. An addiction. Lance didn’t know though. He also didn’t know how much, if any, of the whiskey he had drank. Everything was numb but he guessed it was preferable to the painful buzzing in his head when he could feel. At least right now, Lance couldn’t feel the parts that they had touched. He couldn’t feel the way his heart was broken from Keith brushing him off this morning. He couldn’t feel the cuts in his arm. And he was glad for it. 

\---

Keith came out to the front of the school and tried to keep his head down. He really wasn’t in the mood to talk to anybody and if he could slip away without anyone seeing him, that’d be perfect. Unfortunately, luck was not on his side as he heard his best friend’s voice chase after him, even as he ignored her. Finally, he gave in, if only to shut her up. “What?” He grumbled. He’d regret being an ass later, but right now he couldn’t force himself to care. 

“Have you seen Lance?” She panted out. She didn’t do a lot of running, give her a break.

“No” Keith bit out, but then realized that Pidge seemed worried. “Why?”

“Kid...in my math class….said he saw Lance sitting with Zarkon and Lotor and all them at lunch and looking really uncomfortable and then he said Lance disappeared with Lotor but Lotor came back and Lance never did.” 

Keith’s brain began ringing alarm bells. Lance had been in trouble and Keith had been too busy moping about his own problems that something bad could’ve happened to him. “Thanks Pidge, I’m gonna check on him now.” He turned to run and then stopped. “Is Lance’s car here?”

“No, he must’ve taken it.” 

\---

Keith bounded up the stairs to Lance’s house in seconds flat, refraining himself from pounding on the door. If nothing was wrong, he didn’t want to seem like he was being overdramatic. If Lance didn’t answer, that’d be another story. 

But the door swung open and revealed Lance. Bruise free and happy, smiling Lance. 

“Hey babe, what’s up? How’re you?” He smiled, pulling Keith into the house. “Feeling better?”

Keith was at a loss. Lance was fine. He’d panicked for no reason. And Keith couldn’t help but feel angry. Had this all been some attention thing, because Keith hadn’t been available today and Lance felt lonely?

“I’ve been better” Keith bit out, making Lance step half a step back. “Someone told me you were in trouble and upset but you look totally okay to me” 

Lance looked confused. “Um...I don’t know who told you that but I’m fine” he shrugged.

“God, Lance. Was this all some stunt for attention? Because I had other things going on today!”

“W-what? No!” Lance snapped back quickly, his voice coated in (what he heard as) fake disbelief. 

“Lance...don’t lie to me”

“Who’s lying?!” Lance raised his voice. 

“Why did Pidge think you were in trouble?!”

“Because she’s overdramatic? I don’t know! She’s  _ your  _ best friend!” 

“Don’t talk about Pidge that way, like you know her” Keith snapped. 

“I literally just told you I don’t know her!” Lance yelled. 

Keith raised his hand in frustration and watched in delayed horror as Lance flew backwards, fear in his eyes. Did he think--?

Anger and sadness washed over Keith but they weren’t aimed at the boy he’d just been yelling at. Now, it was to whoever made Lance think that Keith would hit him.

“Lance…” Lance’s breathing was bottoming out again and he squeezed his nails into his palms again. He needed to calm down,  _ he didn’t do anything. No one’s doing anything stop acting like a victim and man the fuck up.  _ “Lance, did you think I was going to--”

“No!” Lance cried out, “no. I didn’t.” He avoided Keith’s eyes. “I was upset but I’m always upset, someone must’ve thought it was bigger than it really was.” Lance lied through his teeth in attempt to change the subject from Lance’s obvious flinch.

“What happened?” Keith asked, clearly determined to see this through, not believing him. 

“I...uh”  _ I’m not going to hurt you,  _ Lotor’s voice broke through his thoughts,  _ unless you blab,  _ “I failed my math test. Y’know the one I studied really hard for?”

Keith breathed a sigh of relief and Lance felt guilty for causing that stress. “Are you okay?” Lance asked, desperate to stop talking about himself. “I know you were having a bad day...”Keith sighed, nodding. “Wanna talk about it?”  With a nod, Lance lead Keith to his bedroom--which was twice the size of Keith’s and far more colorful. There, they sat down on the bed. 

“I’m sorry...about this morning...it wasn’t you I was angry with...it was no one’s fault really...it’s just...the day.”

“It’s okay...I’m not going to judge you for a bad day.” Lance took Keith’s hand into his and squeezed it.  _ Not after how many bad days you’ve helped me with. _

“It’s not just a bad day…” Keith paused, probably considering if he wanted to bring it up, “it’s just today’s 7 years since…” Keith stopped again, swallowing hard. “Since my parents” 

All day, Keith had walked around school, angry at everything and with a fuck the world attitude. Now, it was just him and Lance. Alone. And with this knowledge, Keith allowed his resolve to crumble. Allowed himself to feel the reminder of what he’d lost. Allowed himself to fall apart. Allowed himself to feel the guilt he still had from that day. For not doing more to help. For surviving when they didn't. For not calling sooner. And finally allowed the tears he had wanted to shed since the moment he woke up to fall down his cheeks as Lance pulled him closer to his chest, whispering something in Spanish that sounded like a lullaby, while he rocked Keith back in forth. Lance shushed Keith when he cried that he should've died instead. When he said that he should've done more, Lance hugged him tightly and said that he had done everything he could and that they were definitely proud of how strong he was in their final moments. 

Before he knew it, Keith was asleep in Lance’s arms, feeling safe and secure. 

 

\---

The next day, things seemed to be looking up. Keith was still torn up about the anniversary of his parent’s death but at least he knew he had Lance to catch him if he fell. That’s what made walking up the school bearable the next morning with sunglasses, hiding his still puffy eyes, and a still pounding head. He walked up to where Lance’s car always parked and waited for his boyfriend like he always did and that’s where he was when Pidge came up behind him, biting her nail nervously. 

“Did you see it?” Keith looked down at her with a raised eyebrow. “Oh my god, you haven’t seen it….” Pidge looked conflicted. Like she didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news but didn’t want Keith to find out from someone else. She bit her lip and then pulled out her phone. “I guess if you’re gonna find out anyway, it should be from me…” She typed something into her phone before passing it to Keith. It was a picture of Lotor, his arm wrapped around Lance and his hand sliding up his thigh. 

“What the fuck is this?” He hissed.

“Lotor’s telling the whole school that yesterday he and Lance had sex in the bathroom…” Pidge bit her lip, “And I hate to say it...but the evidence is against Lance…”

“Evidence being?”

“They disappeared together into the bathroom for a decent amount of time, then people saw Lotor leaving the bathroom adjusting his clothes and hair. A little while after that, they saw Lance leave the bathroom, also disheveled. This photo that Lotor’s been showing around...I mean...it’s kinda hard to fight…” 

Before Keith could fight that maybe this was a trick, someone whispered into his ear “I see why you like him, he’s a pretty good fuck” Lotor hissed before slinking away with a laugh. 

Keith saw red and he didn’t know if it was towards Lotor or Lance or both. He wanted to hit something and he wanted to scream. How could they do this? Every time Keith tried to be happy, someone had to make his life difficult!

\---

Lance pulled up to the school, feeling heavy and frightened of the day ahead. What else had Zarkon and Lotor planned to get revenge? How bad would it hurt? 

“Hunk, what if I didn’t get out? Like just leave go to Mexico or something?” Lance felt like he was going keel over. 

“Lance, you’re going to be fine. I promise, there’s nothing  _ Lotor  _ can do to you because he’s got nothing” Hunk put his hand on Lance’s shoulder and squeezed it. “Besides, Keith’ll go ape shit on anyone who tries anything, you know that” 

Lance nodded, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “Yeah, okay. Thanks buddy.” Lance feels bad, he hasn’t hung out with Hunk as often as he used to, not since he started dating Keith and Hunk and Shay started seeing each other more often. He made a mental note to hang out with him soon and stepped out of the car.   
Keith and Pidge were standing at the front of his car, looking down at someone’s phone. Lance cleared his throat. “All rise, your charming king has returned” He said loudly but Keith and Pidge just looked up at him with blank expressions. “Okay, tough crowd” 

Keith looked at Pidge and then back at him twice and Pidge bit her lip, nervousness taking over her face. “Keith” she stopped the boy next to her from lunging at Lance with a sharp tone. “Don’t. Not like this”

Keith paused, breathing for a second before looking at Lance and shoving a cell phone at him. “What the fuck is that?” He grounded out. 

Lance looked at the screen. In the photo was Lance, sitting at the lunch table with Lotor hanging off him, his hand reaching in between his thighs. It looked bad. “What is this? Keith, where’d you get this?”

“That’s what you’re worried about?!” Keith’s face twisted with disbelief, “What the fuck is that? Why the fuck is Lotor going around telling people that you’re a good fuck?!”

Lance shook his head desperately, not understanding. He hadn’t even touched Lotor, he hadn’t wanted to! All he’d done was back into a wall and pray for him to leave him alone. “I-I didn’t, why the fuck would I sleep with  _ Lotor? _ Do you know how hard it was for me to be with you--?”

“Oh yeah, what a real struggle, weren’t you the one who crawled into my lap in the first place?” Keith scoffed and there was a pang of hurt in Lance’s chest. 

“What are you saying? You believe them?!”

“It’s kinda hard not to! I mean, what? Were you mad that I blew you off?” 

_ See he knows you’re a slut _

_ Awe, you didn’t think you actually convinced someone that you were anything more than that, did you? Awe, you did. That’s adorable.  _

Lance just turned on his heel and walked towards class. “So that’s it? You’re not even going to fight it?!”

Lance spun around. He was done being kicked around by everyone just because he flirted a little bit--something he hadn’t even done since getting with Keith--and was a little too much for some. His face was burning and felt as hot as his lungs as he gasped for air to scream. 

“You’ve made it perfectly clear to me that I’m just a slut who, when he doesn’t get what he wants, decides to cheat on their boyfriend just for the fun of it! Right? ‘Cause that’s all I am. Some bratty whore who can’t handle being told no.” He screamed, twisting around and stomping into the school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT ILY  
> I'M SORRY FOR HURTING THEM BUT THING'S WILL GET BETTER...(and worse again but...)  
> Also, I'm sorry this feels hella rushed I'm just exhausted today but I wanted to update. Next one will be better :)
> 
> FINALLY: Thank Genesis, in the comments, for this pain because I was going to go a different way but then I read their comment and decided to roll with that


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING FOR HOMOPHOBIC LANGUAGE!

Or at least he had tried to. The thing that stopped him? A form stepping in front of him and knocking him over. Lance hit the concrete with a grunt and glared up at said form. It was none other than Lance’s best  _ fucking  _ pal, Zarkon, burst his fucking gut laughing, nearly doubled over as hysterical laughter burst from his ugly lips. 

“Awe, trouble in paradise?” He snarked, looking briefly to make sure that Keith was still watching. “You didn’t think someone actually cared about you, did you? No, no, no, McClain. _Sluts_ don’t deserve love.” It was the wrong time to pick on him. Lance had gotten so angry over Keith’s words, his head was on fire, his anxiety not even having a chance to bother him about all of the venom in Zarkon’s tone or the fact that the whole school was now watching them. Lance picked himself off the ground, staring dead into Zarkon’s eyes. “Oh my god, guys.” Zarkon exclaimed in pretend fear, putting on that dumbass voice he apparently thought babies had, “ _someone’s angwy”_ He crossed his arms and pouted his lips in a patronizing way, only fueling Lance’s anger. Now, Lance is very _keep your head down, don’t give them a reason to dislike you_ kinda guy, but _fuck it_ _they already fucking hate me, who gives a shit._

“Hey Zack, I was wondering. Is your life that pathetic?”

“What the fuck did you just ask me, string bean?”

“Are you that fucked in the head?”

Zarkon pulled back to punch Lance but this time Lance wasn’t having it. He was  _ done  _ just accepting everyone’s shit. He grabbed Zarkon’s fist and kicked out, hitting his shin. Zarkon let out a small yelp but quickly recovered, growling and grabbing Lance by the collar. “Do that again. I fucking dare you.”

Lance just smiled at the bully and spit in his face. “And what the fuck are you gonna do? Call me a slut? Been there, done that.” He laughed darkly. 

Zarkon pulled him in close, so that only Lance could hear him when he whispered, “We’ll kill you. We will. Do everyone a big fucking favor and take you out of our way” 

Lance refused to show how hard that shook him as scrambled out of Zarkon’s grip, ready to fight if Zarkon decided to pummel him. But Zarkon just sent him a smile and turned to his friends. One of which was Lotor. Lotor who winked at Lance before turning around. 

No. 

Not anymore. 

“Don’t. Fucking. Wink. At. Me. You fucking hypocritical bastard.” Lance called him back. “Walking around school calling me a fag one day and then the next, you’re walking around here telling the school you slept with me when we both know I’d never let your fucking hands or mouth near me. We didn’t have sex, all that happened was you and your friends sexually harassed me for 40 minutes before you forced me into the bathroom, locked the door, got in my face and threatened to beat me if I told anyone. You’d be  _ lucky  _ to sleep with me!”

“Considering you’re probably a carrier for every STD known and unknown to mankind? I’d be luckier getting shot into space and blown up by a million asteroid hits.” Lotor scoffed before realizing that he’d just admitted to his lies.   
Lance smirked, “oops” 

But Lotor wasn’t defeated. Instead, he shrugged, “whatever. Got what I wanted anyway. You to see that even your  _ precious  _ Keith thinks you’re as much of a whore as the rest of us do.” Lance couldn’t even think of a good comeback to that, making Lotor smirk. “Now, if we’re done here I have better,  _ cleaner  _ people to talk to” He waved and twisted back. This time, Lance didn’t stop them.

 

\---

 

Keith went numb. He’d called his boyfriend a whore. He’d made his boyfriend feel like he didn’t trust him. He’d fucked up bad. Keith stared as the boy he loved looked back him with so much anger in his gaze that Keith wanted to burn through the floor. He hated that he’d done this. All because he hadn’t fucking  _ listened  _ to Lance. 

“Lance” he breathed out, “I’m--” 

“Oh, what? You want me now? Since I’m not a whore?!” Lance bit out.

“No, no I didn’t mean that. No, no, no, no” Keith shook his head, looking up at the boy with tears in his eyes.  _ I can’t lose him. I can’t. Please don’t leave me.  _ Lance scoffed. 

“Oh, yeah? If I’m not a slut, what am I?” 

Keith’s head spun as all the things he felt for the boy raised to the surface. “Y-you’re…” Keith paused. He hated this. He hated talking about feelings. Especially so publicly. 

Lance bit out a laugh, rolling his eyes and biting his lip in annoyance. “Thanks”

“You’re not a whore or a slut. You’re perfect. You’re kind. You’re beautiful and adorable. You’re so compassionate. You’re the reason that I’ve been happier I’ve been in my life in years. You’re the reason I’m not so angry anymore. You’re amazing. You’re everything I want and need. You’re everything I wish I could be and more. You’re...You’re Lance...You’re imperfect but you’re perfect for me and...and you’re….you’re” Keith licked his lips, forcing himself to say the words and tune out the crowd, “you’re the boy I’m in love with. The boy I’ve been in love with since the moment I met.” Keith found the words were slipping out of his mouth before he could stop them, the truth finally spilling after so long of keeping the secrets locked away. The fact that he had loved Lance for a long time had hit Keith a little while ago. All the times he’d rolled his eyes at Lance, every time Pidge snapped him away from staring at him, each time it’d been because Keith was  _ pining  _ over the boy. Not because he hated him and he’d just been denying that he could feel that way for so long that he’d forgotten. Lance’s lips parted slightly and he gulped, clearly conflicted. “I-I don’t deserve you or your light, I never have and probably never will but I-I need you.”

Lance let out a shaky breath and for a moment Keith’s heart broke. He wasn’t going to forgive him.  _ Why would he?  _ “I’m not a whore.” He stated powerfully. “I’m not.” Keith shook his head, squeezing his eyes together to brace himself for the heartbreak. He was surprised that no words followed and suddenly there was a hand under his chin, forcing him to look up seconds before lips came crashing to his own. “Never do that again.”

“Never. I promise. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t listen. I’m so sorry.” Keith practically sobbed as Lance pulled him into a bone crushing hug. 

“I know.” Lance said. And he did. Lance  _ did  _ know. Without Keith saying it, Lance knew that Keith was terrible at expressing himself and that making such a public confession couldn’t have been easy on him. He knew that Keith breaking down into tears meant that he was sincerely apologetic. He knew all of this and Keith had never been so grateful. 

“I love you, Lance.”

“I love you, Keith.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is terrible I'm just having a kinda bad day but I wanted to get this up.
> 
> Please comment, ILY


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pure fluff because I want my son's to be happy already

“Mmhmm...Mmhmm, wait. Lance, wait.” Keith pulled away reluctantly to put the key into the hole and open the door. Lance instantly reconnected their lips desperate for contact, pulling Keith closer to him by wrapping his arms around his neck and deepening the kiss, stepping backwards into the front entrance, barely feeling it as Keith shrugged off his backpack and pulled Lance’s off his shoulder (and pulling Lance’s hand from Keith’s neck. Lance was quick to replace his hand though, now moving it to the collar of Keith’s leather jacket, fingers toying with it for a moment before Keith groaned and pulled the jacket off of his torso, throwing it vaguely in the direction of the couch and kissing Lance again.

  
“Ahem” A female voice cut through, making both boys jump and let go of each other.  
In the doorway of the kitchen stood an older couple, the petite woman with black hair that fell just before her shoulders and a kind face. She was awkwardly looking between them and the floor, a blush present on her face. Next to her a kind looking man with graying black hair. He was staring at them, making Lance blush and release his hands from Keith’s body. Behind them stood Shiro and a girl with grey hair and piercing blue eyes. She wore a beautiful blue dress and was snickering to Shiro, leaning into his chest as he wrapped his arm around her and playfully shushed her.

  
“Oh!” Keith bit his lip, the tension was palpable. “Mom! Dad! I didn’t know you guys were home”

  
“Clearly” His father laughed, “so who’s this young man?” he gestured to Lance, who flushed again under the scrutiny.

  
“Uh...this is my boyfriend, Lance” Both boys smiled a bit at the word boyfriend, still not used to hearing it.

  
“Oh, it’s wonderful to meet you, Lance! I’m sorry we haven’t met before. It’s just with my work, we’re never home.” His mom smiled, stepping forward. “You can call me Hana. This is my husband, Hiro.”  
Her voice had a slight accent to it, Asian? Maybe Japanese. Lance made note to ask Keith later. Y’know when he wasn’t wishing to sink through the floor because he’d just been caught practically undressing his boyfriend in front of his family.

  
“I-it’s great to finally meet you” Lance finally managed to stutter out.

  
“You too. Now, about what was going on--” Lance felt embarrassment flood his entire body.

  
“No, dad. No. Please don’t do this” Keith begged, taking Lance’s hand and pulling him to Keith’s room.

  
“I don’t want to hear anything funny!” His dad called after them but didn’t follow them. It didn’t matter because there was no way Lance was going to have sex in hearing range of Keith’s entire family.

  
“I-I think I just physically died inside” Lance stated with a straight face, collapsing onto Keith’s bed.

  
Keith just nodded, the blush still running across his face, “Mortal Combat or Mario Kart?”

  
“Mortal Kombat, gotta get rid of all this frustration somehow” Lance said suggestively, throwing his boy a wink. Keith just rolled his eyes before popping the game in and chucking Lance a controller.

\---

“I want a fry” Lance sighed, looking across the table at his boyfriend as he popped a fry into his mouth. Hunk and Pidge were babbling on about some scientific equation next to them (it turned out that the two got along swimmingly and the only problem between them was that they were annoyed they hadn’t met sooner. Shay was supposed to be here too but she hadn’t been able to catch the train into town. Hunk had played it off but Lance knew he was crushed. Hunk hadn’t seen Shay all week and he was starting to have withdrawals--as he called them.) When Keith didn’t acknowledge Lance’s statement, Lance sighed heavily, dramatically, repeating “I want a fry”

  
“Go buy some then” Keith said with his mouth full, flicking a grain of salt in Lance’s direction from the table.

  
“You’re supposed to offer me one, like a good boyfriend"

  
“Sorry, I didn’t sign up to be a good boyfriend. I’m just here for the kisses”

  
“Gimme a fry or no more kisses”

  
“After what happened yesterday, I’m surprised you weren’t too shell shocked to ever kiss me again anyway”

  
“What happened yesterday?” Pidge leaned over, interested in the gossip.

  
Keith laughed at Lance’s blushing face, “We were making out and my family totally caught us.”

  
“They were all just...standing there!” Lance cried out, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation. “It was so humiliating”

  
“You wanna hear humiliating?” Pidge smirked, laughing and leaning close to Lance.

  
“Nope, nope. My best friend is not allowed to be close to my boyfriend. She knows too much.” Keith shook his head. “I’ll give you a fry but you can’t hear any secrets about me”

  
Lance pretended to contemplate, but scrunched his face with a small shake of the head, “No, fries not worth the price of missing a hilarious story about you”

  
Pidge smirked, “In grade nine, Keith and I had the same English teacher. Anyway, Keith was so fucking shy in freshman year,” Lance heard the small ‘oh god’ Keith whined out before hiding his face. “Like he couldn’t talk to anyone--though, you probably knew that already--but one day my teacher saw some papers or some shit on Keith’s desk so he asked him to throw them out. Lance, man, Keith literally burst out into laughter. No one knew what happened, not even my teacher--who just sat staring at Keith like he was insane--and Keith just kept laughing”

  
“This is the worst thing you’ve ever done to me, Pidge!” Keith groaned into his palms as he heard his boyfriend’s laughter bubbling out of him. “I hate you”

  
“It’s alright, your family and friends and boyfriend already love me, it’s too late to get rid of me” She shrugged putting her straw into her mouth.

  
“That’s so cute,” Lance said quietly, laughter still erupting from his body. “Awe, don’t be like that” he said as Keith dropped his hands from his face and fixed him with a glare.

  
“I’m surrounded by assholes” he said halfheartedly, throwing his fry at Lance who attempted (and failed) to catch it in his mouth.

  
“Hey! Don’t waste them!” He cried.

  
\---

  
Lance opened the door and lead Keith inside. “Seriously, though, I’ll never be able to look your family in the eye again.”

  
“Lance”

  
“No, it was so fu--”

  
“Hermanito” Someone behind him said. His face lit up as he spun to confirm that it was real.

  
“Marco!” He exclaimed, dropping his boyfriend’s hand and rushing forward to hug his brother tightly. “qué estás haciendo aquí?”

  
“Had some time off from classes so thought I’d come visit my favorite brother…” he paused before smirking, “Mateo"

  
“Don’t lie. I’m your fave, we both know it”

  
“Whatever you have to tell yourself” Marco chuckled, “So who’s this” He nodded toward Keith.

  
“Oh! Marco, this is Keith. My boyfriend” Both Lance and Keith’s smiles grew.

  
“Lance, you got your first boyfriend and you didn’t call me?!” Marco gaped as Lance went pale.

  
“Marco! You can’t tell him that!” He cried.

  
“Why not? He should be honored”

  
“I have a--never mind” Lance pouted, crossing his arms.

  
“It’s not a big deal, babe” Keith snickered, moving closer and taking his hand. “I’ve put up with you this long, that fact isn’t gonna get rid of me” It was said in a playful tone but Keith knew that his words were actually comforting to his boyfriend.

  
“Well, obviously, you love me”

  
“Obviously”

  
“Maybe obviously can--”

  
“I swear to god, if you say ‘be our always,’ I’ll kill myself”

  
“You know you love that movie!” Lance argued, referring to when he had found Keith had never seen a current movie either and determined that he needed to be educated. On of the ‘lessons’ was The Fault In Our Stars.

  
“It’s so dumb! Literally always was Isaac’s thing with Monica, the girl that broke up with him when he went blind, why the hell would you want to base your thing with someone you loved on that?!” Keith held his arms up in question.

  
“That’s not the point!!!” Lance whined, shaking his entire body.

  
The sound of Marco’s laughter made the two of them look over. “Are you guys always like this?”

  
“Yeah, why?” Both of them asked at once.

  
“You’re like an old married couple...it’s cute”  
\---  
Lance and Keith were sitting with Lance’s siblings, Mari and Nicolas (Lance’s father) had to work late today and Marco was making dinner. The kids had come home a little while after they did and had immediately almost suffocated their brother before settling down. It was now 5 pm and they were all doing various things in the living room. Lila, Lance’s youngest sister who was 11, was in front of the TV with her brother Michael, the youngest boy, age 12. They were watching some dramatic looking TV show in Spanish. (“I keep telling them that show is inappropriate, but do they listen? No” Lance had grumbled when he saw the show. Keith had just laughed and pressed a kiss to Lance’s head.  
The twins, Sofia and Isabella, age 15, were on the couch opposite Keith and Lance, texting and scrolling through instagram--occasionally leaning over and showing the other something that made both girls laugh.  
Mateo, who was 14, was sitting on the floor next to the couch. He’d been watching the TV previously but had decided it was boring and was now looking up at Keith. Keith pretended not to notice but he was growing uncomfortable under his gaze. He was about to ask when Lance laughed and said:  
“Mateo. ?Que pasando? Why you givin’ Keith the stink eye?”  
Mateo just shook his head. “I’m not. Just looking. You guys are nice together.”  
Keith and Lance were laying next to each other, their legs intertwined and Keith’s head resting on Lance’s chest. “Thanks, Mateo” Keith smiled.  
\---  
Lance’s family made Keith feel safe. He only just met them and he was already being so well accepted by all of them. At one point Lila had approached him, put her fingers through his hair, and asked: “Why do you have long hair?”  
Keith shrugged, “I don’t know...your brother doesn’t like it either...wanna hear a secret?” The smaller girl had nodded her head, excited to hear anything that other people didn’t know. Keith leaned close to her ear and whispered it, making the girl giggle.  
“Really?” Keith nodded. “It’ll be great”  
The girl had gotten distracted again after that but Keith didn’t mind.  
Sofia and Isabella were not much younger than him and Lance, so they were cool to talk to. They were freshmen at the same high school and had spent an extensive amount of time filling Keith in on all the gossip of their grade. Keith didn’t know exactly what they were talking about nor did he think he’d care that much in any other setting but these were Lance’s sisters, accepting him immediately and talking to him like they’d known him forever, so he grinned and nodded as the names and places got lost in his mind.  
Michael was clearly the shy one of the family--not that that said much because he was still quite talkative, just not as out there as some of his brothers and sisters. He had given Keith a wide smile before asking him if he wanted to play Nerf Guns with him. (“Not in the house, Miguel! Mama will kill us all if you break her furniture again!” Marco had called from the kitchen, making Keith chuckle.) Keith hadn’t so much said ‘yes’ as he did get hit by a Nerf bullet and stand up, turn around and playfully whisper out ‘Oh, it’s on” before chasing after the boy who giggled and turned and ran. Keith picked up the other nerf gun that Michael had left on the stairs and followed the boy outside.  
When he got outside, there was no one there. Michael was hiding. The yard was not just open grass, not like Keith’s. Lance’s yard was filled with toy houses and swing sets and a shed along with toys and balls that were sprawled across the yard. This was very convenient for Michael who could use the items to hide behind.  
“You can’t hide forever” Keith had called out, pressing against the back of the shed. “I’m gonna find you” There was no response but Keith stepped out, nerf gun raised to his shoulder as he looked around for the small boy. “Come out, come out wherever you are” He said in sing songy tone. Maybe he was spending too much time with Lance.  
Suddenly, to his left, he saw a small movement behind the toy house. He smirked but played innocent. “Michael? Where’d you go?” He asked as he slowly walked in the direction of the toy house. As he neared it, he raised his nerf gun ready to shoot when the boy popped up, his gun aimed like a sniper and he shot out 3 nerf bullets, 2 of which hit Keith straight on, before Keith could even move. He gasped in fake horror before letting himself fall to his knees. “Oh no! I’ve been compromised. Michael...tell….Lance...that...I….love...him” He pretended to gasp out his last breaths before falling over, eyes shut.  
When he opened them, Michael had moved closer, his head tilted with a smile on his face. “You love him?”  
Keith blushed. He’d told the whole school and he’d told Lance over and over again now but it still made him flush and his heart race when he thought about it. “Yeah...yeah I really, really do.”  
“Good…” Michael nodded in approval, “because if you change your mind, you’ll have to answer to this sharpshooter” Michael pointed to himself proudly.  
“I would never anger a master sharpshooter like yourself” Keith played along.  
Michael laughed, coming closer to Keith. “I like you, Keith. You’re a good person” He declared.  
“You’re a good kid, Michael”  
“I’m not a kid!” Michael scrunched his face in annoyance.  
“Of course you’re not”  
“I’m not!”  
“I think you’re a kid because I can do” Keith leaned forward and picked up Michael, swinging him over his shoulder and spinning, “this”  
Michael let out a gleeful screech and hit lightly on Keith’s back, “put me down” He laughed.  
\---  
“Keith! Michael! Marco’s done with dinner” Lance called, turning to come into the backyard and stilled at the sight. Keith was spinning with Michael on his shoulder, the younger one hitting his back and laughing. Keith was calling out, “Michael? Where’d you go? Michael?”  
Lance could honestly say he’d never been this happy in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE COMMENT ILY ALL HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR THE LACK OF UPDATE FOR SO LONG  
> I wasn't sure if I wanted fluff or angst, eventually I decided both, but this chapter is really short,,,,I'm sorry....  
> Next one will be longer,,,but  
> HOPE YOU ENJOY ANYWAY,,, ILY ALL
> 
> PLEASE COMMENT AND LEAVE KUDOS
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING FOR HOMOPHOBIC LANGUAGE & MENTIONED SELF HARM !!

 

Once Keith and Michael had washed up and everyone was sitting at the table, the roar of conversation was overwhelming. Keith owed everything he had and was to Shiro’s parents but while they were sweet and all, they were not the biggest conversationalists. That and the fact that they were on business trips every other week, meant that it’d been a lot of Keith eating meals either alone or with Shiro, who he also loved and all, but nothing could compare to the noise of Lance’s house. It was like a constant buzzing. But Keith wasn’t as annoyed by it as he expected to be when he initially pictured it. Instead, he found himself sitting next to Lance, while he argued with his siblings, and laughing along. He was  _ so  _ undeniably happy and he wanted to freeze time; to keep this moment and savour it. 

 

\----

“Lance, so there’s this show at school. We can do whatever we want. I wanna sing but I don’t have anyone to accompany me…” Lila looked at her brother with plea in her eyes, her lips pouted slightly. 

“Ly, you don’t have to guilt trip me.” Lance smiled, “Of course I’ll play for you. What song?”

“Let It Go by James Bay….” Lila smiled.

“Yeah, no prob” Lance said before shoving a piece of chicken into his mouth. “When’s the show?”

“Food, Lance.” Marco said quietly but Lance ignored him.

“In 2 weeks.”

“Oh, no problem, kid. Consider it learned”

“You play guitar?” Keith asked, absently licking his lip. 

“Wait, he didn't tell you that he plays guitar? I would've thought he'd brag about it nonstop!” 

Keith shook his head at Marco who declared “Lance you gotta play for him” nudging Lance with his elbow, mumbling ‘he’ll find it hot,, just look at his face’. He had to admit, Keith looked pretty amazed as he bit his lip slightly. Lance blushed but shrugged. “If you insist!” Before grabbing his guitar from the other room. “Any recommendations?”

“We have one!” Isabella and Sofia exclaimed at once. They looked at each other with a smile and then Sofia ran towards Lance, leaning into his ear and whispering something that Keith didn’t even bother trying to understand. It was probably in Spanish anyway. 

Lance smirked, nodding and dragging a chair away from the table to sit in. “So, uh, you all know that Sofia and Isabella are the _biggest_ fangirls ever, so they recommended I do this song.” He paused, looking over at Keith and sending him a wink that made Keith’s face flush. 

Keith didn’t know exactly what he’d been expecting. Everyone had said Lance had an amazing voice and that he could play the guitar like an angel. But Keith had never truly understood how people could feel so passionate about a song that they felt emotion from it….

Not until Lance’s fingers formed the first chords, his hand falling against the guitar in a rhythm to keep the beat. Not until his lips formed the first words and he heard just how angelic his voice really was. It was slightly raspy, but not in a way that ruined it, with a sweetness to it that made it sound like honey.

“I might never be your knight in shining armour

I might never be the one you take home to mother

And I might never be the one who brings you flowers

But I can be the one, be the one tonight”

 

Lance was not focused on those in the room anymore, his eyes shutting lightly, his fingers practically on auto-pilot as they strummed the pattern.

 

“When I first saw you

From across the room

I could tell that you were curious,

Oh, yeah

Girl, I hope you’re sure

What you're looking for

'Cause I'm not good at making promises”

 

Lance opened his eyes quickly, making eye contact with Keith before jumping into the chorus. 

 

“But if you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms

And if you like having secret little rendezvous

If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn’t do

Then baby, I'm perfect

Baby, I'm perfect for you

And if you like midnight driving with the windows down

And if you like going places we can’t even pronounce

If you like to do whatever you've been dreaming about

Then baby, you're perfect

Baby, you're perfect

So let's start right now”

 

Keith didn’t know  _ how  _ to feel. He hadn’t been expecting to feel so...so... _ paralyzed  _ by Lance’s voice. He hadn’t been ready to hear Lance saying that they were perfect for each other. And he  _ definitely  _ hadn’t been prepared when Lance opened his mouth for the next verse. 

 

“Yo nunca podría ser la mano que pone el corazón en 

O los brazos que sujetan cada vez que ellos quieren 

Pero eso no significa que no podemos vivir aquí en este momento 

Porque yo puedo ser la persona que amas de vez en cuando”

 

Keith’s whole body froze as Lance’s head tilted back slightly and his eyes shut. The Spanish coming, seemingly, much easier than the English had. His native accent slipping into his voice as he continued. Keith was in shock and all his mind could process was one thought. 

_ I love this boy.  _

_ I love this boy.  _

_ I love this boy.  _

_ I’m  _ in  _ love with this boy. _

 

“La primera vez que te vi 

Desde el otro lado de la habitación 

Me di cuenta de que eras curioso (Oh, sí) 

Chica, espero que te van 

Lo que estamos buscando 

Porque yo no soy bueno en hacer promesas 

Pero si te gusta causar problemas en habitaciones de hotel 

Y si te gusta tener poca cita secreta 

Si te gusta hacer las cosas que usted sabe que no hay que hacer 

Baby, estoy perfecta 

Baby, estoy perfecto para usted 

Y si te gusta conducir medianoche con las ventanas abajo 

Y si te gusta ir a lugares que ni siquiera podemos pronunciar 

Si te gusta hacer lo que has estado soñando 

Baby, eres perfecto 

Baby, eres perfecto 

Así que vamos a empezar ahora mismo”

 

Keith was so captured. So mesmerized. So amazed. That it didn’t matter that he didn’t know any of what Lance was saying. That he barely registered when Lance finished singing. That his mind was still broken when Lance opened his eyes, looked to his boyfriend, and asked what he thought. 

 

“I think you broke Keith” Isabella laughed, nodding towards Keith, who was staring at Lance unblinking.

“Keith, babe? You alright?” Lance stood, waving his hand in front of Keith’s face. When Keith didn’t respond, he crouched down to look Keith in the eye. He opened his mouth to say something but Keith grabbed him by the collar and sent his lips crashing into Keith’s. 

“I love you” Keith whispered so softly that it made Lance practically shiver. 

In that moment, both boys forgot about the surrounding family members and smiled dumbly at the boy they loved, perfectly content. 

“I love you too” 

 

\---

 

“You’re--You’re sure they are gone” Lance asked again, between pants, frustrating Keith. 

“Yes, now don’t ask me again” Keith growled out, forcing Lance to focus on kissing him rather than the embarrassment of his family catching them again. Lance laughed. “What the fuck are you laughing at?” Keith breathed heavily into Lance’s ear. 

“You’re really demanding when you’re desperate...I kinda like it.”

“Can we discuss your submission kink later?” Keith asked, shoving him down onto his bed lightly. 

“You know this is the first time” Lance observed, to Keith’s annoyance, as Keith climbed on top of him.

“For?” He asked, kissing Lance’s neck, smiling when he hears Lance practically choke on the moan slipping out of his mouth. “No one’s here, you can be louder.” He wanted to hear everything. 

“You going down on me” 

Keith practically laughed, “that’s what you’re thinking about  _ right now _ ?” He asked, pushing his fingers through Lance’s hair and grabbing Lance’s shirt. It was a button up,  _ thank fucking god _ , Keith realized that he didn’t have break contact. “I think we should focus on…” He fiddled with Lance’s belt for a moment before getting it off and removing the jeans. “More important things?” He asked, placing his hand on Lance’s thigh and sliding his hand upwards. Lance, finally silent, nodded quickly. “

 

\---

 

The next couple of weeks past in a blur. The couple was now bordering on their 4th month together and the two couldn’t be happier. They spent nearly every waking moment together--either with Hunk and Pidge, with Shiro and Allura, with Lance’s family, or just the two of them. They couldn’t get enough of each other and it didn’t seem like it would ever end--not that either of them wanted it to. 

So when  _ it  _ happened, Keith hadn’t been prepared. Things had been so good, Keith hadn’t seen any changes in the way his boyfriend behaved or talked. Keith hadn’t seen any changes in the way he’d been treated at school--after the whole public fight with Lotor and Zarkon things had died down. The two had seemingly gotten bored and decided to move on to someone new. Neither of them knew who or why but they weren’t about to question it...at least Keith wasn’t.

Until Lance missed two days of school in a row--again. In the beginning, Keith wouldn’t have thought anything of this. Maybe Lance was just ditching or maybe he was sick. But now he knew that Lance really didn’t ditch because he cared too much about his grades and he rarely got sick enough to really miss school. 

So this meant that something had happened. Something that Keith hadn’t heard about. And that made Keith’s stomach twist in a way that made him nauseous. 

He pounded on the door. He knew Lance was home and he knew he had just cause to be concerned. Concern that tripled when Lance swung the door open, a sleepy smile on his face, red rimmed eyes, and nothing but a white bandage on his right arm over his upper body. When Lance let him in, a noticeable slur in his speech, and Keith came near him, he could smell the alcohol on him. He reeked of it. 

“Lance, what’s going on? You’re skipping school to get drunk alone?” Keith gaped as he stepped forward to take the bottle of whiskey Lance was headed for. He had the advantage of, you know, the ability to not trip over his two feet and got it first. Lance stomped his foot. 

“Give it back, Keith!” He whined like a child. 

“Not until you explain”

“Explain what? I’m jus...having a good time” He reached for the bottle, only he missed by a foot. 

“Lance, this isn’t like you. What’s going on? What didn’t you tell me yesterday?”

“Nothin’...Your happiness is the only important thing…”

Keith wasn’t sure what Lance was getting at there. Why would telling him this affect his happiness? Why didn’t Lance value his own happiness? 

“Lance, your happiness is the most important thing to me, so tell me the truth”

“Can’t” Lance laughed, suddenly distracted as he went leaping forward to catch the bottle again and Keith switched it over into his other hand quickly, catching the stumbling boy from slamming into the wall with his other. 

“Please? I hate seeing you like this”

Lance blinked, smile dropping as the reality that Keith wouldn’t be deterred set in, before he turned, leaving the room, going into the kitchen. Keith thought maybe Lance had another bottle and ran after him, only to ram into Lance’s stumbling form as he walked out. “Here, turn it on” Lance shoved it at him and then tripped towards the couch, looking suddenly drained. 

Keith powered on the cell phone and after a moment of silence, it began buzzing rapidly. Like it had done the first time he’d ever picked it up, the time that Lance hadn’t wanted him to see. 

Hundreds of text messages flooded in;

_ Kill yourself _

_ We hate you _

_ Slut _

_ Fuck off already _

_ No one wants you here, you little whore _

_ You’re polluting my life with your existence _

_ Stop being so weird _

_ Get out of our way, faggot _

_ Do you really think Kogane could ever love a slut like you? _

And more. 

Keith turned to the drunken boy that was now laying on the couch and his heart broke. How had this happened again without Keith knowing? How had it gotten this bad?

“When did this start again?” he croaked out, his voice suddenly gone. 

Lance shrugged, not looking back, “never stopped. Jus slow’d down fo’ a li’l while” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Didn’t wan you to worry...I like you happy” 

“I like you happy too, Lance. Which is why I wish you’d told me.” Keith moved to the couch where Lance was and sat down next to him. 

Lance shrugged and looked down “sorry...didn’t mean to make you angry.”

Keith shook his head. “Babe, I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at all the people on this phone.” He paused as Lance brought a hand down onto the white bandage on his arm, fiddling with the edge where a piece of tape was coming off. “Lance...what happened to your arm?” He had a sinking feeling that he knew exactly what had happened but he prayed he was wrong. 

“Wanted….to feel som’thin’” Lance slurred, his head drooping. 

“Lance...:” Keith felt like crying. How had he let this happen? How had the boy he loved gotten so hurt? 

Lance didn’t respond, his mind not processing Keith’s hurt as he fell asleep, head falling forward. Keith sighed, adjusting Lance to lay sideways on the couch before going to grab a garbage can and a blanket. Once he covered Lance and placed the can next to him, he sat on the side couch. He needed to fix this. But first, he wasn’t leaving until Lance woke up. “I'm so sorry this happened….I’m so sorry. We’re going to fix this...I promise.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is kinda shitty.....
> 
>  
> 
> ALSO, LANCE'S SINGING IT BASED OFF OF LEROY SANCHEZ'S VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE,,,LOOK EM UP BC THEY ARE GOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> PLS COMMENT AS ALWAYS,,,ILY ALL


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I started working at a camp on the 17th and because of it, I fell behind in writing! I'm really really sorry. I hope this chapter isn't too shitty. I love you all and thank you for reading!  
> TRIGGER WARNING FOR HOMOPHOBIC LANGUAGE!

 

Lance came to with a groan, feeling like his brain was trying to crawl out from his forehead. He moves to pull the blanket over his head but is met with resistance. Lance turns his head slowly to see what is on his blanket, only to find a sleeping Keith, lying on his side face him. On top of the blanket. But Lance has moved on from that fact. Keith’s face is lit up slightly from whatever light is outside the window. His eyes and nose are red in a way that Lance knows all too well. That’s the ‘cried myself to sleep’ face. The one Lance often fell asleep with. 

For a moment, Lance doesn’t understand  _ why  _ Keith has that face. And then it hits him. All of the events from yesterday. 

His phone had been buzzing like crazy for days but he didn’t want to bother Keith with it. They were finally happy and for the most part, Zarkon and Lotor and Nyma and everyone had been leaving the two of them alone--except for the texts. But Lance could totally handle a couple of text messages. What kind of person can’t handle a couple of text messages? 

(Even though he knew the absurdity of it all, he couldn’t bring himself to block the numbers.  _ Because,  _ he reasoned with himself,  _ it’s better to know what they are saying than them saying it and me knowing they’re saying stuff but not knowing what.) _

He had told his mama and papa that he was going to school when he walked out the door but then he ran around to the side of his house and climbed back into his bedroom window. It was dumb and cowardly to be hiding at his house, he knows, but he couldn’t imagine facing all those people at school. The faces that screamed the words he didn’t want to hear (but he knew were true). 

_ You’re just a dumb whore _

_ Keith’s just using you for sex _

_ You’re just a hole for him to fuck _

_ He doesn’t care about you _

_ Slut _

So he had hidden. Picked up the phone when the school called his house, asking to speak to Mari. He told them he had the stomach bug. That he’d be back soon (even if he never wanted to go back there again.) And he stayed home. Where his parents held liquor for when they had company. They had the strong stuff too. It was too easy to pretend to go to school, get drunk, hide in his room until dinner, and feed his little siblings white lies so they didn’t worry. It was so easy that he barely remembered (through his drunken haze) that he didn’t tell Keith or Hunk where he’d been. 

So easy that when he turned off his cell and figured that he could lie and say it died during school if his parents or siblings asked. He didn’t consider that Keith or Hunk would have called to find out where he’d been. So easy that he hadn’t thought twice about taking the bottle of whiskey and getting so drunk that he couldn’t remember anything past turning his phone off and taking another gulp. 

He couldn’t remember how Keith had even gotten into his house, much less into his bed. Lance squeezes his eyes shut again against the pounding of his head. He, against his body’s wishes, throws the covers from himself and stands up. His eyes flash over the bandage covering his wrist and sees that it’s really neatly covered. Or should he say, too neatly for him to have done it in his drunken state. Which means--. 

Lance shuts his eyes as though it’ll stop him from thinking the end of that sentence (it doesn’t.) 

When he opens his eyes, he reaches for a shirt on his floor and throws it over his head. 

_ I need Advil...like yesterday _

 

Lance is halfway to the kitchen, passing the dining room, when he spots his phone lying on the table. He freezes. He doesn’t know if it’s off or if everyone just stopped texting him. He takes a small step towards it to pick it up. Part of him is telling him he should just change his number and never be bothered with this again but the other half of him is telling him he  _ has  _ to know what they are saying about him. After a moment, he figures  _ screw it  _ and grabs the phone off the table. He pushes the home button and the screen comes to life. 

**_4:23 AM_ **

Why was he awake so early? 

He barely has time to ponder this thought before his eyes register that there are messages from 2 hours ago on the screen. He begins reading them, scrolling through them until he can’t read them anymore because his eyes are blurring and he has to squeeze his eyes shut, causing more tears to pour down his cheeks. 

He hates this. He hates how  _ weak _ he is. How someone behind a screen could cause him to feel like such utter crap and make him hide in his room. What is he, 8? 

_ Because you know they’re right. Every word that they type, it’s all true. You are just a stupid waste of space. Even Keith knows it now, especially since he’s seen those ugly scars on your wrist. I mean what kind of an emo freak are you? I bet he’s going to break up with you the second---. _

“Why are you doing this to yourself?” Lance jumps, nearly dropping the phone he was still holding in his hand. He turns around and sees Keith standing in the doorway. He looks angry and exhausted.  _ You did this to him.  _ Keith moves forward and grabs the phone from Lance’s hands. “Lance?”

Lance can’t bring himself to respond around the lump in his throat, so he only shrugs. 

Keith bites his lip and looks down. “Lance, let’s talk”

_ This is it. He’s going to end it.  _

“It’s over, right? Of course it is. Why would you want to stay in a relationship with me? After yesterday? I wouldn’t stay with me either. I mean, just look at me. I’m a wreck and a disappointment and--” Lance looks away, moving his hands frantically as if to distract Keith from his face. He rambles on despite Keith’s words.

“What? What’re you talking about? Why would I--?” Keith sighed as he cut himself off. “No! Lance, I’m not breaking up with you!” He has to raise his voice slightly to be heard over Lance’s rambling. 

“Y-You’re not?” Lance finally meets his eyes again. Keith shakes his head. “Then what do you want to talk about?” 

“I wanted to talk to you...about…” Keith pauses for a second, seemingly contemplating his next movement, before placing the phone on the table. “Y’know what? Wanna get out of here?”

“W-what? It’s 4 AM”

“Exactly. I know exactly where we can go, and it’s the perfect time.”

 

\---

 

“You really won’t tell me where we’re going?”

“For the hundredth time,  _ no. _ It’s a surprise” Keith rolled his eyes as the two sat in the back of the uber. 

Keith wasn’t a romantic person nor was he good at talking about his emotions but he was good at one thing. Listening. And he intended to use one of his only skills to cheer up his boyfriend. 

“Okay, but if we get kidnapped and I can’t tell the police where we are, it’s your fault” 

“Firstly, why do you assume you’d be the one to get out to contact the police. I’m definitely stronger than you and more equipped to deal with a kidnapping. Secondly, I don’t think we’re going to get kidnapped”

“That’s what they all think. And  _ because _ I’m way faster than you so if we were able to break the ties they had us in with those knives, the ones you think I don’t know you carry around with you all the time,” Lance pauses, sending Keith a knowing smirk when he makes a noise of protest, “you would definitely send me out to get help while you stayed behind--like the idiot you are--and tried to kill the guy--or girl, psycho don’t discriminate” Lance rambled and Keith laughed. 

“You’re an idiot and you’ve thought about this way too much if you ask me” 

Lance didn’t acknowledge that with more than a shrug, instead getting back on topic. “Well are we almost there at least?” 

“We’re actually here.” 

In the moment, Lance had been so distracted by the conversation to see the uber pull up to the parking lot. Now, he looked out and saw where they were. 

The ocean. 

It was surreal. 

The sun was beginning to come up, just barely shedding light on the sand, the sky a slight pink, blue, and purple. All the colors mixing together and reflecting off the soft waves of the ocean. 

It was so quiet, the beach empty save for the two of them. 

Lance was out of the car before Keith finished paying the driver. He was moving towards the water and savoring the feeling of the wind blowing through his hair. He shut his eyes against the breeze and listened to the soft sound of the breaking of the waves and the seagulls. 

A hand wrapped around his and he opened his eyes to see Keith. He turned so that he was fully facing his boyfriend. 

“I remember you said that the beach was your favorite place. And that you loved the sunrise--because you’re a living, breathing cliche and because it made you feel hopeful. That no matter how dark it gets, the sun always comes up.” Keith said, his voice quiet as though he didn’t want to disturb the beach. “I think you needed a reminder.”

“I-I can’t believe..you remembered that...I don’t...even remember telling you that….I-I love it” Lance smiled. He couldn’t bring himself to feel stressed out with the ocean spray hitting his face. Keith--who was about as good with being emotional as he was with keeping his cool--just looked away. Lance smiled. The gesture and the fact that Keith had remembered something like that was so huge that he would give Keith’s social awkwardness a break. He let himself stare at the boy next to him--the rising sun casting a dim light over Keith’s features--before smiling deviously.

“Bet you can’t beat me to the water” He challenged, already pulling off his shirt and shoes. 

“Oh, you’re on!” 

 

\--

“Keith?” Lance asked, looking up through his eyelashes at him. Keith hummed but kept his gaze on the water. “You always listen to me complain...but you...never complain to me…”

Keith doesn’t answer and Lance thinks maybe he didn’t hear him. He opens his mouth to say it again when Keith shrugs. “What do I have to complain about?” 

Lance bites his lip. That answer’s a cop out and they both know it. 

“Well...I mean I don’t want you to have stuff to complain about but--”

“Lance” Keith looks down. “I’m happy. I don’t have anything to complain about. I have you, I have my family, I have decent grades and that’s all I need.”

Lance fakes a smile and reaches up to kiss Keith. He doesn’t believe Keith for a second. There had to be something. He never whined about his parents or his brother or his grades or any of his fears. He didn’t want to lose Keith because he kept his emotions caged inside. The fear of losing his best friend and first love to things unknown gnawed at Lance’s brain. 

“Let’s just enjoy the rest of today. A break from all those assholes”

 

\--

 

“Wait. You moved here from Texas?” Lance’s jaw dropped in disbelief. “How have I not found out? Why don’t you have an accent? Actually...it kinda does make sense in a way. Y’know you were a lot of flannels and stuff.”

“Babe, flannels are not just a southern thing. They have them in other states too.” Keith protested. 

“No, no they don’t” 

“Yeah--”

“Nope, can’t hear your texan tainted voice”

“You literally know I have no accent--”

“Sorry, what?” 

The pair bickered back and forth for a moment before Keith gave up, pushing his hands against Lance’s stomach, causing the younger boy to jolt, laughter spilling out as he writhed around trying to move out of his grip. “Stop!” He cried.

“Promise to not talk about texas anymore”

Lance laughed, putting on a terrible southern accent, “I’ll try to contain myself”

Keith just tickled him harder and Lance cried out again, “Okay! Okay! I’ll stop! Just have mercy!” 

Keith laughed and put his hands up in mock surrender. “Good” He is silently for a few more minutes before mumbling “loser” 

Lance scoffs at that but just leans back into Keith’s lap, shutting his eyes and humming a tune. 

 

\--

“Mama’s gonna be so pissed. I didn’t tell her I was going out.” Lance says suddenly, just realizing that it was now 5 PM and he hasn’t had his phone the entire day. 

“Don’t worry ‘bout it” 

“No, I’m serious, Keith-”

“I knew you’d be concerned. I texted her that we were going out hours ago. Told her not to worry.” 

“You know me so well” Lance sighs, throwing his arm around Keith’s shoulders. “And you’re also, the perfect height for me to lean against you” 

“Ugh, we get it. I’m short. The joke’s over.” Keith protests, half-heartedly throwing Lance’s arm off of him. 

“Thank you” Keith shrugged. “No really. I needed to get out of my head and...and...you know. You remembered all that and you made me feel better. I just...I love you so much.”

 

\--

“Come in.” Lance pleas, pulling at Keith’s arm. “Just for a little?” 

“No, I really do have to go home. My parents are home from their business trip today and if I’m not there, I won’t there the end of it.” 

“Are you sure?” Lance laces his fingers through Keith’s and steps closer, pressing a kiss to the side of his lips. “It’ll be really quick”

“Sure you wanna brag about that, babe?” 

“Shut up” Lance scoffs against his ear. 

“I really can’t. Not today, I’m sorry.”

Lance pouts slightly but nods with a sigh. “Fine. If you  _ have  _ to” 

Lance presses a kiss to Keith’s lips and steps backwards. 

“Monday?”

“Right in front of your car, as always” Keith smiles, “tell your family I say hi. And call me if you need me.”

“I will” 

“I’m serious” 

Lance’s smile drops for a second. “I know. I promise….I...I should’ve said this earlier but...I’m sorry about yesterday…”

“Don’t worry about it, just...call if you need me.”

[Lance can’t bring himself to turn his phone on for the rest of the night, scared that when he did, he would see all those messages and all of his happiness would go away.]

 

\--

 

Monday morning when Lance and Hunk pulled up to the school--as they always did--Keith was not where he normally stood. Despite what he had said. A twinge of fear and anxiety went through Lance but he got out of the car, telling Hunk that he knew he’d ace that chemistry test he’d stressed over all night, and went looking for the mullet haired boy. 

Turned out he didn’t have to look too hard because as he approached the courtyard, he heard a yell of “Fight!” and then a cheer of a crowd as they all chanted “Fight, Fight, Fight.” 

_ Please don’t be Keith _

_ Please don’t be Keith _

_ Please _

_ Please _

_ Pleas-- _

It was Keith. On top of Lotor, his fist raised above his head, aiming at the bigger guy who didn’t look phased by the threat, despite the blood coming from his lip that suggested Keith had already punched him once. Instead, he looked smug. Like he knew something Keith didn’t. They all didn’t. 

“C’mon  _ pretty boy _ . Punch me. Defend that  _ fag’s  _ honor. Or better yet. Kill me. Show us all how much you’re really like your daddy. Does the apple fall far from the tree? I dou--” Keith had frozen momentarily and shifted. Reaching for his boot and pulling something out so fast that no one saw the knife until Keith had it pressed against Lotor’s throat. 

Lance’s mouth went dry and he felt his heart pound. He wanted to scream. Tell Keith to get the fuck off him. To not do something he’d regret. To leave it be. But his voice was stuck in his throat and all he could do was watch as the crowd screamed and Lotor’s eyes widened in horror. He heard someone scream get off him and then saw someone lunge at Keith. Before they could touch him, though, Keith jolted as if shocked, reeling back in horror, before taking off. 

 

\--

 

“Come on, babe, Keith’s out of the house and my parents won’t be back for 3 hours, let’s do it!” 

“I don’t know, Shiro. It’ll be totally embarrassing if someone walks in--”

Shiro groaned, “It’s just a Disney movie. It’s not like we’re the first adults to watch a disney movie”

“Without kids? I think we might be” 

Whatever response Shiro would’ve had is cut off by the slam of the front door and a loud crash. Shiro jumps up, immediately thinking the worst. He grabs a knife from the kitchen counter, gesturing to Allura to stay there (which he knows she probably won’t because she don’t listen to no man), and rounding the corner. He peeks around the corner to see Keith, leaning against the end table next to the front door, his body shaking in what Shiro can only assume is anger. He quickly drops the knife, sighing a breath of relief, and moves towards his brother. 

“Hey kid. What’s wrong?” Keith doesn’t respond or turn around for a moment and Shiro takes a step forward. “Keith? Buddy? What’s going on--?”

Keith swings around, his face red and tear stains running down his cheeks. It’s enough of a sight to make Shiro’s breath hitch. 

“They know”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen,, I'm sorry this fic has been so fucking angsty and it's definitely gonna get worse but next chapter WILL be fluffy because these boys need a fucking break. I'm exhausted for them. 
> 
> ANYWAY, pls comment because it encourages me to write :)   
> ILY ALL ENJOY :)
> 
> (5 COMMENTS FOR NEXT CHAPTER)

“W-what?”

“T-they know. About my dad. About the crash about--” Keith’s breathing was increasing rapidly and he moved away from the table. 

“What? Who?” Shiro followed the boy as he went upstairs to his room, rummaging through his drawers for something. 

“I don’t know how they know. They just...they know--and Lance will know and...and..can’t believe...I ever thought...I could...and then...I was stupid-so fucking stupid-I fucking...pulled a knife--”

“You pulled a knife?”

“I-I didn’t realize it until...until it was too late...those assholes were...they were making fun of Lance and I just...I just lost it...I--”

Shiro walked up to the boy and grabbed his wrists. “You can’t do that. You can’t just pull knives on people. That’s how you get arrested. That’s--”

“I know that! I know! I know all that but--” Keith yanked his wrists out of his brother’s grasp. 

The sound of the doorbell ringing sounded through the house and after a second, Allura’s voice yelled: “Keith, Lance is here. I’m letting him up.”

Keith’s breathing stopped for a moment and he shook his head. “No. No. No, no, no, no, no--”

“Keith, you need to calm down.”

“No...he...no, no....he must...hate--”

“He doesn’t hate you. He loves you--”

“You don’t understand. I...I’m just like him...he’ll hate--”

“Keith? It’s Lance” 

“Shiro, tell him...I can’t...I can’t--”

“I thought you told him about that night?” 

“I-I lied….told him a diff….erent version...didn’t...tell...everything--”

“Keith…” Shiro sighed. “Please breathe”

“Keith?” Lance knocked on the door. “Are you okay?” 

“You have to. You have to tell him the truth or it’s going to destroy you”

Keith shook his head, even as Shiro opened the door and let Lance in. 

“Shiro! I can’t!” he yelled after his brother as he walked past Lance, whispering something to the Cuban boy as he passed. 

“Keith?” Lance’s voice was quiet. “What’s going on?” Keith looked down, trying to hide what Lance already saw. He shook his head. “What was that? At school? Why...why did you...you pulled a knife on him! What the fuck...I mean, jesus christ, Keith! You could have hurt someone! Or been expelled! Or something--!”

“I know” Keith whispered. He still felt the pressure in the back of his eyes, the lump in his throat, and his chest still felt like his heart and lungs were going to explode out of his chest in a big ball of fire. He couldn’t breathe. He felt like the world was spinning and everything was crashing around him. His vision swirled and he felt like just standing here was draining him. 

“What was Lotor talking about? The dad thing?”

“Nothing. Guy doesn’t” Keith’s voice broke as the lump in his throat grew and he blinked away the tears, He coughed against the lump and continued, “doesn’t know...what he’s talking about” he finished almost silently. 

“Yeah, that was convincing. That explains why you...pulled a knife on Lotor.” 

“I…” 

“Keith. You can’t...not explain this to me…” 

_ Just drop it. Please.  _

“Why not? Can’t we just….” Keith didn’t know how to finish that sentence so he just shrugged. He couldn’t look up. Couldn’t meet Lance’s eyes. 

“Keith” Lance took a step forward and grabbed Keith’s hand. His hand was shaking. “Talk to me.”

“I…”  _ can’t.  _ The word was on Keith’s tongue, literally about to leave his mouth, but the word didn’t come. No. Instead a choked gasp, an attempt to not full out sob, escaped. Keith swallowed roughly in attempt to hold back the sobs. 

“Keith” Lance said his name again and it was the final straw. He gasped as the tears poured from his eyes. His lungs ached as he began to hyperventilate. He pulled his hands out of Lance’s and moved across the room. He didn’t want Lance to see him break. Didn’t want him to see him this weak. 

 

_ You’re supposed to be strong. To support him. He’s having a hard enough time without you pulling this pathetic shit. Just stop crying and tell him that you’re fine. You don’t need to bother him with this.  _

His body was shaking and he was gasping violently as though there would never be enough air to fill his lungs. He wiped at his cheeks in a futile attempt to stop the rushing tears. His knees shook and threatened to give out as he moved towards his bed. He collapsed just before he reached it. “Keith” Lance whispered before running over to him. He put his arms around his boyfriend but Keith just shook his head, whimpering, pulling away. 

“N-no. Go away” Keith begged. “I don’t-”

“Keith. Every time I’m upset, you comfort me. Let me comfort you.”

“You….don’t….understand….”

“Help me then”

Keith shook his head, pushing his head against his knees 

\--

 

Keith wouldn’t say anything and it was  _ beyond _ scaring Lance at this point. 

Keith had calmed down from his panic attack and was now sitting on the floor against the wall, across from Lance (he hadn’t let Lance come near him since he started crying.) He was clearly exhausted but Lance couldn’t let it go. Not when this was so clearly ripping Keith apart. He had a feeling that this problem wouldn’t just go away with time. 

“Can you tell me?” Lance whispered, sitting on the floor a few feet away from Keith. 

“Lance, just drop it, alright?” 

“I can’t. You know I can’t” 

Keith sighed, rubbing his hand down his face. He shut his eyes for a moment and took a long breath. “I lied to you” It was practically a whisper. 

Lance waited for him to continue but eventually it was obvious he needed a bit more prompting. “About what?”

“A-about a lot of things...I just...I…” Keith sucked in a breath. “It doesn’t even matter.” 

“Keith...I love you. And love means sharing everything. The pretty and the ugly bits. No matter what.”

“That’s the thing. You won’t love me...after I tell you....”

“That’s not--”

“It is! Because I lied to you. I told you my parents were happy, said we were a happy family! Said they died in that freak accident!” He paused, shutting his eyes. “I told you what I  _ wished  _ was true...because it was easier.”

“Easier than what?” 

“Than telling you…” Keith stopped, breathing in and out several times before bringing himself to speak again. “That my parents...were never happy. No. They were probably the most psychotically disturbed and depressed couple you could ever imagine. They were horrible together….In my parents’ marriage, there were no victims. Just sides. My dad would cheat on my mom and she would burn his clothes. She would drink too much and he would get high for a week….They were the fuel to each other’s fire. They pissed each other off to no end but at the end of the day, they loved each other...or at least they loved the feeling of having someone that loved them..and fucked them...I guess that’s all they needed. And for some goddamn reason that I will never get, they had two children in this hellish marriage that they dared to call anything but chaotic…” Keith stopped again for a moment but Lance just waited because he knew he wasn’t done and if Lance interrupted now, he may never finish. “My parents…” Keith let out a breathy laugh, “after receiving a warning from my school, that if they didn’t clean up their act, they could lose me and go to prison for child abuse,” Keith swallowed hard as though the words were a pill of spikes, “they decided to go to marriage counseling--I think it was more so to keep out of prison than to keep me, though. The counselor recommended my family go on a trip. To bond or some shit _ ” _ He spat the words with a bitter laugh. “Because all they needed was to have a little fun to put an end to their mentally ill minds….So we went. We all packed up the car and headed to god knows where for some  _ family bonding time _ \--that, by the way, I know they couldn’t have afforded because we could barely keep up with rent in the shithole we were living in and most nights we didn’t have food. They spent all our money on liquor and drugs. But whatever, we were driving...and they were fighting about something stupid, again, and my mother started to threaten him and he started threatening her right back. He called her a whore, she called him an ass, he told her he wished he’d never met her and she said she wished he was dead. They went back and forth and somehow things escalated to the point where my father was straight up threatening to kill her. To take a knife and slit her throat or to throw her off a bridge. I screamed--speaking for the first time since I had gotten in the car--for them to stop. To just shut the fuck up. Just kept screaming. Then my dad stopped the car abruptly and got out. He came around to the side of the car, opened my door and pulled me out of the seat. He dragged me to the side of the road and yelled at me about how he wouldn’t take this kind of disrespect from anyone, much less the worthless son of a bitch that  _ that whore  _ brought into his miserable life. He told me that he was done with my bullshit and told me to find my own way home. Then he got back in the car and sped away.” Keith’s breathing was picking up again and part of him wanted to ask Lance to come sit with him. To ground him to reality. He didn’t have to though because movement in his peripheral caught his eye and Lance was sitting next to him in a flash, grabbing his hand and rubbing his thumb back and forth, bringing Keith back. Reminding him that he wasn’t 11 years old anymore. That he wasn’t standing in the freezing cold alone with no way of knowing how to get home. He was home. He was with Lance.  I finally found my way home...had to ask a nice lady to drive me back...it took 2 hours and when I got there...there were two police officers. Took me to the station and told me that at a little over an hour ago, they had received a call from a woman who said she was in a car with a crazy man. She told the police that she was scared because the man had told her he was going to drive them off the bridge because he couldn’t stand her anymore.” Keith had said all of that quickly because the words burned and he knew that if he didn’t say them all at once--if he paused to breathe or see Lance’s reaction, he would choke up and stop. “But the cops couldn’t do anything. They were driving 80 on a highway and my mother’s pleas would not change my father’s mind….by the time the cops got to the scene, the car was submerged under water and the driver and passenger were DOA….” Keith let out another shaky breath. He couldn’t open his eyes. 

“Keith...I..I had no idea…” Lance’s eyes were wide and he seemed to be at a loss for words. 

“That was kind of the point.” Keith couldn’t help but snap. 

Lance took Keith’s other hand and brought both of his knuckles to his lips. “I still love you. That doesn’t change anything--”

Keith jerked away, ripping his hand away. “It does! It does because my father killed her! Killed himself! That, in all 50 states, is considered  _ murder _ . My father is a murderer! Which means…”

“You’re not like him.” Lance’s reads his mind, shaking his head and looking Keith dead in the eye, “You’re nothing like him.”

“You didn’t even know him--”

“I don’t need to. He sounds like a horrible person and a horrible father. He called you all those things--undoubtedly more than that one time--and he did not care at all about your safety. He sounds like a monster and if he wasn’t dead already, I would kill him myself.”

“But I am... I am just like him. I have his lack of impulse control. I have his anger issues. I mean, God! I pulled a fucking knife on Lotor today. And I didn’t even realize I was doing it until I heard all the gasps and screams. I’m just...I’m a monster!” Keith was crying again and he felt himself panicking again. “You shouldn’t love me! I’m just going to hurt you!” 

“Keith. You’re a hothead, yes. But you also don’t actually want to hurt anyone. The only times I’ve seen you get mad like that was when someone was hurting someone you cared about. You would  _ never  _ call someone worthless or a whore or leave a child on the side of the road or anything like him. I promise, I still love you because you’re not a monster, you’re protective and loyal. That’s not a bad thing. I promise” 

“You shouldn’t.” Is all Keith can say, “death surrounds me.”

“Why? Because your father did a horrible thing--?”

“No! Because it’s not just him!...My...my brother too”

That’s right. Keith had said that his parents had two kids. 

“What happened with him?”

“I told you that the car crash was the real reason I looked at your messages that time we had our first fight...that was a lie too...because all I can do is fucking lie to you…” 

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up about it, you’re telling me now.” 

Keith nodded hesitantly. 

“My brother was a lot older than me. He was 21 the year that my parents died, a whole 11 years older than me. He lived on his own in a sketchy neighborhood because it was all he could afford but he needed to get out of the house with my parents….I remember I hated him because I thought he should’ve taken me with him. I didn’t speak him at all for 3 years. The next time I saw his face, it was on the news. Someone had broken into his apartment and shot him in the head. It must have been personal because he was the only one killed. I hated myself for not speaking to him for so long, but then I found out something that made my anger shift. Apparently for the entire day before that, my brother had been texting and calling my parents. Trying to get through them, asking if he could come stay with us or something because he….he felt like he was being followed...that something bad was going to happen. He  _ knew  _ someone was coming for him and my parents  _ ignored  _ him!” Keith was getting angry, his knuckles white and his nails digging into his palms. Lance pushed his fingers through Keith’s forcing him to loosen his grip. “Ever since then...it’s just...if I see something like a phone going off...like that...I just...I think...what if someone is….in trouble…” Keith’s breathing was off again. His body was giving out. In the span of a couple of hours, Keith’s body had gone in and out of panic mode more times than Lance could count. 

“Keith. It’s okay. Breathe. I’m not angry with you. I promise. I’m still in love with you and if anything I love you more now than ever”

“Wha…? W-why?” 

“Because you’ve been through hell and back and you’re still here. You’re still so strong and supportive. You still comfort me when I get worked up over dumb bullshit. You’ve never once complained to me about how much of a baby I’m being when we both know that I’m a crybaby. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met and I love you so much. Please believe me.” Keith was crying now, snot and tears streaming down his face. “You say I shouldn’t love you but I don’t think it’s physically possible for me not to. I love you so fucking much, Keith Kogane and anyone that tries to convince you otherwise is an idiot--including that voice in your head” Lance promises, wiping Keith’s cheek with his thumb and pressing a kiss to his cheek. He didn’t want to make Keith think that he only loved him for the sexual portion of him. 

“I don’t deserve you” Keith mumbled, his eyelids fluttering shut. He was exhausted. His body slumped against Lance’s shoulder. Lance shook his head and leaning forward to press a kiss to Keith’s hair. 

“No one will ever deserve you, Keith.” But Keith was already asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also,, I know that like I'm kinda overkilling with the angst, but like I'm kinda using this fanfic to put in all my headcannons and ideas so like I'm sorrrrry plus it's increasing their trust and bond. 
> 
> (Keith finally trusts Lance enough to fully come clean about his issues)  
> I just felt this was important because we've seen Langst and Keith comforting and being strong for him everyday but finally Keith breaks and fully lets Lance into his walls. Lets him see him weak. 
> 
> ANYWAY HOPE YOU ENJOYED ILY ALL PLEASE COMMENT. 5 COMMENTS FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is shitty and short but I wanted to get this chapter out to provide some background and let you know what's coming. 
> 
> Also, now that I've seen Season 3, I kinda feel bad for portraying Zarkon like such a little bitch but too late now.

Pidge had come by after school ended, coming up to Keith’s room where Lance was sitting on the bed next to sleeping Keith.

“Oh. Hi” 

Lance and Pidge were not exactly friends but they got along. They were more of those friends that talked when there were other people with them and when it was just them, it tended to get awkward. 

“Hey. You can come in. He’s been asleep for a couple hours. I don’t want to leave him. If he wakes up...y’know...panicky.”

“Yeah, no, that’s fine. How is he?”

Lance shrugged. “I don’t know. He told me everything about his parents and stuff...had a lot of panic attacks.” 

“Yeah…” Pidge kicks her shoe into the carpet.

“You know all about it, right?”

“Yeah. Keith’s whole family lived in Texas and then moved up here about 3 years before that….all happened....apparently his dad had a job offer...but I don’t buy it. I never saw the guy do anything but drink and smoke. I think the apartments here were just cheaper or something and that was the way they justified moving without the embarrassment.” Pidge shrugged. 

“You knew his brother?” 

“Greg? Yeah. He was a good guy...I only knew him vaguely though...he moved out soon after they moved here. Keith idolized him but that's really all I knew...Keith didn't want to talk about him after...” She trails off leaving the unspoken words hanging there. 

“Wait, I have a question...if Keith’s family moved here so long ago, how come Keith only started here when he was in 9th grade? And how’d you know him? How’d he know Shiro?”

“Funny story...Keith didn’t live around  _ here  _ until he was 12 and adopted by Shiro. He met Shiro because Shiro used to volunteer with the police force. He responded to a few calls to his house” Pidge winced at the unspoken reason for the calls. “I met Keith because I used to go to his school. It was a shit school but it was what our families could afford. Then, my dad got that promotion and Matt started working so my family was able to afford the Garrison for us. Keith, though, even after getting adopted...I guess he felt like  _ everything  _ was being ripped away from him so, he refused to attend another school, even though Shiro’s family can afford it. He finished all of middle school at that school and then the summer of 8th to 9th grade, he told Shiro’s family that he felt like he would go to the Garrison. He kept telling them “only if it’s not a problem.” He was such a different person, so closed off and angry. But also afraid to burden anyone, though, I guess that’s still kind of true. He wouldn’t let anyone get close to him. Even now, the fact that he told you….I mean, that’s huge, man.” 

Lance just nodded, digesting all of that. “Okay...uh, you wanna sit?” He shifted over so that there was a part of the bed free. 

Pidge nods, sitting down. She bites her lip. 

“What’s up?” Lance nudges her a bit, sensing her tension. 

“I wanted...to apologize” Lance scrunched his face in confusion, racking his brain for anything she’d done. “When I first met you...I thought you were this,” she paused to consider how to phrase it, “self entitled, rich, playboy who thought he was so great. I thought you were self centered and an asshole. I made so many assumptions based off of what I saw. Based on how you acted at school. I shouldn’t have done it but...I did. It really wasn’t until today that I really understood just how wrong I was. You don’t understand  _ just  _ how different Keith was. It was a struggle for even me or Shiro to get in under his walls. Most of the times, we had to use a passive effort to keep him from snapping. Since you two started dating, he’s….” she smiles, her voice becoming light and breathy, “ _ smiling.  _ I mean he’s  _ laughing.  _ And then, this.” She shakes her head with a small shrug, “I was so wrong about you. You’re so much more than what I thought you were and I...I just wanted to say I’m sorry that I made such a hasty assumption.”

Lance smiled and after a moment of silence, “So, you finally understand why everyone loves me so much?” 

“Don’t push it, McClain” She rolls her eyes, pushing him. 

Lance just laughed. 

 

\--

 

“Suck my dick, McClain!” Pidge whisper-yelled, pushing the boy next to her to try and throw him off. 

“Only if you return the favor” He winked at her jokingly, still going strong, crossing the finish line in 1st. “Bam, in your face”

“Whatever, just shows that you spend too much time playing this game.” Pidge sticks her tongue out. 

“Don’t be a sore loser” `A voice from behind them spoke up. The pair turned in sync. 

“Keith! You’re up” 

“What map is that?” Keith asks, ignoring Lance. 

“How do you feel?” Pidge ignores Keith’s question. 

“Like rainbows and sunshine.” He deadpans. “What map?” 

“Doesn’t matter. I want a round with you, McClain here is a cheater.”

“I’m down. And he  _ is  _ a cheater!” Keith said, sliding off his bed onto the ground next to his best friend. 

“Just because you guys  _ suck  _ doesn’t mean I’m a cheater.” Lance crosses his arms, pouting. 

“Don’t be like that, cheater” Keith leans over and kisses his pout before selecting his character. 

“I cannot believe this betrayal.” Lance, ever the drama queen, moans. “Whatever, I’m gonna hang out with Hunk”

“Don’t be a baby” Keith whines, grabbing his boyfriend’s hand as he tries to stand. 

“I’m not. You two haven’t hung out in forever and I want an update on Shay and Hunk”

“They’re official now. Public” Pidge supplies. 

“No way! Now, I have to talk to him!” Lance smiles before pulling Keith’s face against his, kissing him slowly for a minute before pulling away. “Call me if you need. Love you” 

“Love you” Keith smiled after him, watching the door shut. 

“Ew, you guys are so sappy I hate it” Keith looked over at his best friend. 

“Don’t be bitter. You wanted this” Keith reminds her. 

“Yeah, but I didn’t calculate you guys being so disgustingly cute when I made that bet.” Pidge rolls her eyes. “Now, shut your face and select a map” 

 

\--

 

“Hunk! My man!” Lance said when Hunk swung the door open. 

“Lance, buddy! What’s up?”

“We haven’t hung out in forever! A little birdie told me you and Sha-la-la-la are official now?” 

Hunk smiled with a hint of a blush. “Your birdie? You mean Pidge?”

“I’ll never reveal my source”

“Mmhmm” Hunk rolls his eyes, shutting the door after Lance. “I was just trying out some new recipes, wanna be my taste tester?”

“When have I ever turned that job?” Lance laughed, walking ahead of Hunk into his kitchen. 

“So…” Hunk drawled, “How’s Keith doing?”

“You know about that?”

“Dude, everyone knows about that”

Lance sighs, wiping a hand down his face. “Of course they do. What’re people saying?” Hunk looked afraid to say anything. “Whatever it is, we’ll hear it tomorrow, so just hit me with it now.”

“That he’s crazy…Lotor has been telling the school that his father’s a killer and that Keith must be just like him...I don’t know who is believing him but...it’s high school and people hear rumors and believe them…” He paused, “Should they believe him?” The look Lance gives him is answer enough. “So I call this recipe, Voltron. It’s like a combination of like 7 ingredients that taste iffy alone but together, they taste pretty good. If I do say so myself” He changes the subject fluidly and holds a spoon to Lance’s lips. 

“Hunk, man, this is  _ amazing. _ How did you think of this?!”

 

\--

 

**(6 Months Before)**

 

Zarkon spat onto the ground in front of him. Next to him stood Lotor, Nyma, Haggar, Throk, and a few others he didn’t really care enough about to know. Nyma and Haggar were talking about something that he couldn’t care less about and Throk was rambling with another guy about something else that he  _ also  _ couldn’t care less about. He looked around to see if maybe there was anything interesting happening. 

In the parking lot there were only a few people. A group of girls were surrounding that  _ loser  _ Lance McClain. The school whore. Would definitely do anything for anyone willing. He disgusted Zarkon. Honestly, what kind of person has that little self worth that they whore themselves out? He walked around like he was hot shit but Zarkon knew if he pushed him a little he could get him to get out of the way. It would be a long time coming, since as long as he can remember, McClain had been in his classes and just always so loud and obnoxious. Flirting with everyone, thinking he could romance himself out of situations. He was thinking of how he could do this when he noticed a small girl waving her hands frantically. 

That nerdy girl who was like 14 or something.  _ What a freak _ his mind laughed. 

Across from her stood that other freak, the emo with anger issues who never spoke. 

He was about to look away from them when he heard what they were talking about. He tapped Lotor on the arm, nodding towards the two to tell him to listen. 

“-- your undying love for Lance McClain.” She laughed before wiggling her eyebrows. 

““Ew. McClain? No, I’d rather die. It’s more like my undying hatred. Look at him, walking around like he’s better than everyone else. I don't get why all those girls trip over themselves to get to him. They know he'll break their hearts” The boy rolled his eyes in pity and disgust. It reminded Zarkon of himself, honestly. 

“You should teach him a lesson, knock him down a bit.” She laughed, looking away from him now. She bent down, picking up her bag from where she had thrown it earlier and throwing it over her shoulder.

“Oh yeah? Any suggestions?”

“I’ll do you one better. I bet you can’t make him fall for you.”

“And how exactly is that gonna knock him off his high horse?”

“Simple,” she shrugged. “You don’t have feelings for him. When he falls for you, you can just tell him you lied and show him what it’s like to be on the other side of the heartbreaks he causes everyone.” She smirked evilly. 

Zarkon turned to Lotor and smirked. He liked that plan. It was like that emo freak would do all the dirty work of taking down McClain for him. Not that he and Lotor couldn’t  _ help.  _

Just a little bullying to really hit McClain’s self esteem, then, by the time that freak told him about the bet, McClain would really be down for the count. 

It couldn’t  _ be  _ more perfect. 

\---

After filling in the rest of the gang on their plan, they all agreed that this plan couldn’t be more perfect. Nyma, who McClain had flirted with endlessly, had gotten McClain’s cell number. They quickly distributed to everyone that they could, telling people that they could now tell McClain what they really felt about him without him knowing who it was. Unsurprisingly, tons of people agreed, taking the number. They all agreed to text him endlessly. 

In school, they began with starting rumors. Then, they began facing him head on. Corning him in hallways and degrading him whenever they could. It got better when that emo freak started  _ defending him _ . 

This sparked a new idea for Lotor. The idea that brought them here, 6 months later, bullying McClain at every chance--sexually, physically, and mentally. It was more about just putting McClain in his place at this point. It was about the bond that was growing between McClain and Kogane. Lotor had caught on that there was more to their relationship than the bet. Kogane began standing up for McClain and genuinely looking like he cared for the boy. 

_ Perfect. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's shit but hope you enjoyed. :)


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and kinda rushed I'm sorry but I've been having a bad day, I'm sorry next chapter will be better. :) (Also, I may rewrite this so keep an eye out for that)  
> PLEASE ENJOY AND COMMENT BC IT INSPIRES ME TO WRITE ILY

“So I was thinking, Friday night. You and Hunk should come over. I’ll bring Pidge and we can just hang out together. I mean, there’s been so much drama in our lives that I feel like we haven’t just  _ chilled _ .” Keith proposes.

Lance smiles, squeezing Keith’s hand. “Sure thing, babe. Sounds fun.” 

“McClain!” Lotor comes up out of nowhere, swinging an arm around Lance’s shoulders. Before either can react, another person’s arm in swung around Keith’s shoulders. It’s not a loose grip either, almost holding them in place. Zarkon. 

“What do you want?” Keith practically bites out. 

“Oh, don’t be like that! We’re just having a friendly conversation”

“Yeah, Keith, I mean. After yesterday, you owe me a friendly conversation. I mean, friends won’t go getting other friends suspended” Lotor gives Keith a knowing look. It’s not exactly a threat but it is at the same time. 

“Besides, we wanted to ask you a question” Zarkon whispers, bringing his face closer to Keith’s ear and Keith resists the urge to completely take the two of them out. “Hey, Lotor. I think me and Keithy boy here need to have a private conversation.”

Lotor nods before pulling Lance away, saying that they were going to have some fun. 

“What--?”

“I was just wondering...it’s been nearly 6 months. The gang is getting impatient already”

“What the fuck are you talking about--?”

“Uh, uh, uh. I was talking” Zarkon silences Keith, “I mean, isn’t 6 months for this silly game a bit ridiculous. And even a bit cruel. And I mean this is  _ me  _ saying this.”

“I don’t--”

“All I’m saying, is you better hurry up and tell him. Before we give you a little push.”

“How--?”

“You should be more discreet when you plan things. You have until midnight Friday. Then,” Zarkon shrugs. “Well I guess we’ll see what happens then” 

“If you--”

“Shhh. Don’t worry about what I’ll do. Just relax.” Zarkon smiles evilly, “Now, I think the bell is going to ring soon. Don’t you have class?” He released his grip and then strolled away. But not before making a ticking noise with his tongue and pointing to his wrist over his head. 

 

\---

Pidge was sitting down in the cafeteria when a hand grabbed her shirt and pulled her into the hall. She yelped out loudly but a hand was pressed against her lips. 

“It’s just me” Lance reassured, looking guilty for scaring her. “Sorry”

“I cannot believe you just touched my mouth with your hands” She fake gags and Lance scoffs. 

“Please, you should be honored. It’s like being kissed by a God” He smirks. 

“Don’t ever kiss me” Pidge groans with an eye roll. “What do you want that you had to scare the shit out of me?”

“I just had to talk to you before Keith and Hunk got here.” Lance said, finally backing away from her. “So, I don’t know if you know, but this Saturday is exactly six months since Keith and I first went out. I want to do something special for him because I mean I know I’m hilarious and beautiful but I’m also a mess. And Keith has been dealing with my mess for 6 months.”

Pidge smiles. “You guys are cute. It’s disgusting.” She adjusts her glasses. “What were you thinking?”

 

\--

 

Once the two had come up with a plan, the two headed back into the lunchroom where Keith and Hunk were sitting in what seemed to be awkward silence--not that it surprised anyone. Of all 4 of the friends, the two had the least in common with each other. 

“Hey babe” Lance slips into the seat next to Keith. “Aye, buddy. How is everyone on this beautiful day?”

Keith didn’t respond, just stared at Lance as though he hadn’t seen him before. Lance didn’t seem to notice as Hunk began telling a story about his english teacher and assignment that he was excited about. Pidge saw, though, the look of fear and guilt that passed through his eyes while he stared at Lance.

 

\--

“Are you okay?” Pidge finally spoke up to her best friend as they walked in silence to their houses. 

Keith didn’t show any sign of even hearing her for a moment but as she was about to repeat herself he shrugged. 

“Yeah, why do you ask?”

“I don’t know...you just seem...quiet”

“I’m just quiet...you know, loner guy or whatever.”

Pidge wanted to press it but Keith clearly didn’t want to talk about it and she didn’t think that he needed to be pressed after the recent events. So she let’s it go. Instead, she changes the subject. 

 

\--

 

The next day came far too soon for Keith. He didn’t want to go into that school where he knew everyone knew what he did. He didn’t want to deal with it. He didn’t want to have to explain the dumb bet to his boyfriend. To the boy he loved more than he thought possible. He didn’t want to deal with it. He wanted to stay inside. He didn’t want Friday to come. He just wanted to stay the way he was with Lance. Happy. Not stressed over being exposed. 

But, despite his wishes, at 7:30 there was a knock on the door and there was Pidge. As always, sleep deprived from whatever she was working on now, holding a coffee in her hand, and her bag on her shoulder. 

“Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Shirogane.” 

“Morning, Katie” Mr. Shirogane smiled, waving at her in the midst of his running around to get ready for work. 

“Do you want breakfast, honey?” Mrs. Shirogane asked Pidge every morning if she wanted some breakfast and Pidge always said no but it was a habit at this point. 

“I’m okay. Thanks. Keith in his room?” 

“Yeah, go get this butt down here?” Hiro asked, laughing. “Feel like I never see that kid anymore”

“No problem” Pidge takes off for the stairs, down the familiar path to Keith’s bedroom. She opens the door to see Keith standing there at the mirror, staring at his reflection. He isn’t checking his clothes or anything (which, he doesn’t do that anyway so that’d be just as strange), he’s just staring at himself. “You’ve spent too much time with Lance, you’re not  _ that  _ pretty” She laughed, moving towards him and standing next to him. Keith didn’t seem phased. “Dude. Hello? Earth to Keith?” She places her hand on his bicep, trying to get a reaction from him. He blinks and then looks down at her. 

“Oh, sorry. Didn’t hear you come in” He shrugs, quickly moving away and picking up his backpack. “You ready?” Pidge considers asking him what that was about but decides if Keith wanted to, he’d talk to her. Instead, she smiles and nods. 

 

\--

Lance swings his arm around Keith’s shoulders as he slides into the lunch table. 

“Taco, Taco Tuesday, man. How are you not  _ stoked? _ ” 

“Did you get kidnapped by a surfer gang?” 

“So, he does speak!” Lance cheers. Keith sends him a small smile. 

“Sorry, I know I’ve been quiet”

“Yeah, what gives?” Lance raises an eyebrow. Keith shrugs.

“Just having some trouble sleeping. Got a lot of work lately. I actually have to go. Library.” Keith says, working his way out from under Lance’s arm. “I’ll text you later, alright?” Lance nods and watches as Keith leaves the cafeteria, his eyebrows scrunched. 

“He’s acting weird, right?” Pidge asks, sitting next to him. 

“Yeah, do you know why?” 

“Not a clue. I’m afraid to push him, after the other day. But I also feel like if I don’t push--”

“It could be worse, I know”

“Maybe just give him a little time. Sometimes he gets like this…” Pidge bites into her sandwich.

“Yeah…” Lance blinks hoping that it really is nothing. “So, the plan. Do you know what you have to do?”

 

\--

 

Thursday morning, when Pidge came up to Keith’s room, he was still in bed. A large Keith sized lump laid under the blankets. She walked over and poked it. 

“Keith. School. Must go” Keith just groaned and turned away. “Keith. I’m serious. We’re gonna be late” 

“Not going” He pulls the covers tighter.

“Bull, get up” She pokes him again. 

“I told you, I’m not going”

“Are you sick?”

“Yes” He muttered unconvincingly. 

“Oh really? With what?”

“The ‘Leave-Me-The-Fuck-Alone’ bug”

“Okay, that’s it. What gives?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been acting strange all week and now you don’t want to go to school? What’s going on?”

Keith sighs, pulling the blanket off his face. “Should I tell Lance about the bet?”

“What?”

“I’ve been feeling guilty. I think I should tell him”

“Are you stupid? If you tell him, you’ll most likely lose him. You know that. Just...suck it up. Be happy. He doesn’t need to know  _ why  _ you asked him out, just that you did and that it was the best decision of both your lives”

“...yeah I guess you’re right.”

“I know I am, I’m a genius. Now, get up before we miss first period.”

 

\---

 

Keith felt like there was a boulder in his chest. If he told Lance, he would lose him and if he didn’t Lotor and Zarkon would and he would lose him. It was a lose lose situation and he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what he’d do without Lance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and kinda rushed I'm sorry but I've been having a bad day, I'm sorry next chapter will be better. :) (Also, I may rewrite this so keep an eye out for that)  
> PLEASE ENJOY AND COMMENT BC IT INSPIRES ME TO WRITE ILY


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)  
> (Cry with me)

Pidge tried several times more to start conversation with Keith but every attempt ended with Keith shrugging or responding with a distant, “yeah…”

“Look about the bet thing--” Pidge started. 

“Uh, yeah. No it’s okay. You’re right. Telling him would be the end of everything and I really can’t do that so I’ll live with the guilt. It’s not like it’s even that bad” Keith cuts her off casually but that’s the most he’s spoken all week and he’s still acting jumpy and fidgety, adjectives Pidge would’ve never given Keith. 

“Are you--?” Pidge begins but they’ve reached the front of the school and Keith is rushing ahead of her towards the building. 

Lance and Hunk are pulling up to the building and talking animatedly about something that clearly excited the both of them. (Pidge thought their friendship was kind of odd but also kind of perfect. Hunk and Lance weren’t exactly into the same things but they seemed to fit each other. Then again, Keith didn’t know the first thing about computers and Pidge didn’t know the first thing about motorcycles or knives. So, they were 2 odd couples, she guesses. It kind of worked.)

 

\--

 

Keith couldn’t avoid this. He knew Pidge said he shouldn’t tell Lance but he wasn’t willing to call Lotor and Zarkon’s bluff of telling everyone. He rather Lance find out from him rather than from one of those assholes. Besides, Lance said he’d love him no matter what. Maybe it wouldn’t matter that much... _ right. _ Either way, he had to tell him. Even if it meant losing Lance. 

“Lance?” Keith’s voice is barely audible when he approaches his boyfriend on the lunch line. 

“Babe?” Lance turns to Keith, his facial expression already bearing concern. Keith rarely called Lance by his first name unless they were in a fight or a serious situation. Combine this fact with the fact that Keith was being even quieter than normal. 

“C-Can we talk?” Keith asks, avoiding Lance’s eyes as Lance hands the cashier his money and starts for their table. 

“Of course” Lance shrugs, dropping his tray on the table and going to sit down. “What’s up?”

“So, before I tell you--”

“Yo, McClain. What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Some asshole hollers across the cafe. Lance looks over with confusion on his face, telling Keith to hold a minute. “We have that project due tomorrow. You swore you wouldn’t be late.” The bigger guy rolled his eyes as if to say ‘typical.’

“I-I didn’t! I was just--”

“Shove it, McClain, let’s just go! Can’t waste any more time” The guy crosses his arms and gives Lance an impatient look. 

“Keith. Babe. I love you and I really want to hear what you have to say but if I don’t go, I’m going to get my ass kicked by that dude and he benches more than I will ever weigh. We’ll talk later?” He asks, leaning forward to kiss Keith. He’s already running out the door before Keith can begin to answer. 

“Actually--”  _ it’s kind of important.  _

Keith sighs. Lance has to babysit his siblings tonight so he can’t hang out.  _ Shit, I shouldn’t have waited so fucking long to do this.  _ Time was ticking and before he knew it, Zarkon and Lotor would be telling him whether he wanted them to or not. 

_ Maybe tomorrow morning? Or when we hang out tomorrow? I can pull him aside. Yeah. I’ll do that. He can have his space to storm out and slap the shit out of me. It’s going to be fine. He’s not going to be embarrassed in front of the whole school.  _

His thoughts were cut off by a hand landing on his shoulder. “Time’s a-tickin’, lameass” Lotor’s voice grated Keith’s ear. “If he doesn’t know by tomorrow...well...it’s gonna be fun” He laughed before stalking away. 

Keith shut his eyes against the red hot anger boiling up inside of him. He wanted to punch them out. He wanted to kill them all. He wanted them to suffer for every moment they’d made them suffer. He wished they could tell the principal about all the shit that group had done to them all year but they knew about Keith’s past and about what he did last week. One word about that incident and Keith could kiss goodbye to graduating this school. 

 

\--

Lance and Keith did  _ not  _ get to talk again until after school the next day. The entire day, Keith’s heart had been pounding and his stomach had been clenching. He felt like he was going to die but he  _ had  _ to tell Lance before it was too late. He had to. He had until midnight tonight and then it would be too late.  

He would pull him away and pray that he understood. That he didn’t get angry. That he didn’t break up with him ( _ even though you deserve it, _ his mind  un helpfully supplied.)

\---

 

“Do not fear, we are here. Your lives just got better” Lance declared swinging the door open. Hunk laughed next to him and Pidge just rolled her eyes. 

“Oh god. If you’re our savior, then we truly are doomed” She laughs dryly. 

“Wow. Rude” Lance mocks offence. “Where’s the one I like?” He looks around the room for his boyfriend. 

“He’s in the kitchen…” Pidge bit her lip, wondering if she should tell Lance about his weird behavior today. It had only gotten worse since this morning. He was jumpy and couldn’t focus on anything she or anyone else was saying. It was starting to worry her. She decides against it, simply turning to Hunk to talk about the awesome experiment they had been following. 

 

\--

 

Lance entered the kitchen to see Keith staring out the window. 

“Hey babe” He makes his way towards his boyfriend. “I’m sorry that we haven’t gotten any time to ourselves recently, but--” 

“We need to talk” Keith interrupted, turning to face Lance.

If he didn’t tell Lance soon he wouldn’t do it. Or worse, he would die. (Actually, he doesn’t know which is worse.)

“O-okay” Lance stops, the smiling wiping off his face as he realizes this is serious. Anxiety bubbles in his chest.  _ Is it over? He wouldn’t end it tonight? Not with Hunk and Pidge right here. He’s not that cruel. What if he’s just trying to soften the blow. Maybe he’s just trying to make it so that I can’t throw a fit or murder him or something.  _

“I just want to say. I love you so so much. So fucking much…” Keith bit his lip. “And I don’t want anything bad to happen to you, ever. I care so much about your happiness. Probably more than I should. Definitely more than I should. But--” Keith sighed. He was stalling. He knew he was. But he was trying to stretch out every last moment he had with Lance. Moments where he didn’t despise Keith. Where Lance wasn’t yelling at him or breaking up with him. Good moments. But they were running out. Lance looked more and more confused and anxious by the second.

_ You have until midnight. Why not wait a bit? Just...enjoy the time you have left. You can tell him at 11. It’s only 4. Just, enjoy until then. Don’t tell him yet.  _

“Keith, you’re scaring me. What is it?”

_ Do it.  _

_ Don’t. You have time. _

_ Just do it. Don’t be a coward. _

_ At least you’d be a coward with more time.  _

_ You’ll always want more time. Just do it. Rip the bandage.  _

His mind argued back and forth as Lance stared at him expectantly. 

“Well?”

“Uh….nothing...I just wanted to...to tell you that. I just love you so much and want you to know”

A relieved smile forms on Lance’s face and steps towards Keith. “Baby. I love you so much and It’s okay because I care enough about your happiness for the both of us.” He leaned forward and slowly kissed Keith. 

“Hey, gross and grosser, some of us are here to  _ actually  _ see our friends. Not just make out all night!” Pidge calls out from the dining room. “Now, we ordering pizza or not?”

\--

 

And that’s how they end up playing Cards Against Humanity at 10 pm when Shiro finally gets home from class. Keith and Pidge are sitting next to each other across the table from Lance and Hunk respectfully. It’s Keith’s turn to judge and Lance is trying to get him to pick him, while Hunk and Pidge do the exact same thing. 

“I’m going to go with....Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s being a motherfucking sorcerer” Keith decides as Pidge cheers and takes the card was a “ _ thank you.” _

“What? I call bias!” Lance protests. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“White privilege is  _ so  _ a better answer for that”

“It is not, it’s dumb”

“That’s your white privilege talking” Lance shrugs before crossing his arms and looking the other way. 

“Whatever, dude” Pidge scoffs jokingly before reaching for another slice of pizza. “What time is it?” 

“It is…” Lance answers, reaching for the cell phone that had been disregarded for the past couple of hours to check the time. His eye flickers over the time for a second and he is about to say ten o’clock when he notices the influx of text messages coming in at once. A group chat. 

Vaguely he is aware of Pidge asking him what’s wrong with him and everyone else greeting Shiro who comes into the dining room to grab a slice of pizza but he can’t focus on that. Everyone is laughing at something someone said, not paying any more attention to Lance, who is still staring at his phone as messages flood in. 

_ Can’t believe he actually bought it _

_ That makes so much more sense _

_ Knew that even that emo freak couldn’t actually like a whore like McClain _

_ LMFAO Bro that’s gold _

_ Guys that’s kind of fucked up, why’d you share this with the whole school??? _

_ Don’t be such a fucking buzzkill _

_ She’s right _

_ How much you think he won? _

_ Probably not much _

_ $20 at most _

_ Nah, if he’s smart, he bet higher. It must’ve been too easy. _

_ $100 I bet _

_ Are you guys seriously betting on this bet? _

_ How fucked up are you? _

_ He’s a whore anyway he deserved it _

_ Finally someone put that slut in his place _

_ Kogane actually ain’t bad _

_ Can’t believe he pulled that shit off _

_ Maybe he ain’t as bad as we thought _

Lance scrolled up and his anger and hurt only increased as he continued reading the messages. Yes, some were trying to defend him but. But. 

Keith and Pidge were laughing about something that Hunk was saying. Shiro was sitting at the head of the table, listening contently. No one noticed how Lance slowly brought his head up to stare at Keith. He refused to let the tears even enter his eyes, immediately blinking them away. He was too angry to breakdown right now. His body shook with anger. 

“I was a bet?” His voice is quiet but not in the way that it gets when he’s anxious or upset. No this is a firm, scary quiet. His voice is surprisingly stable. The room goes silent as though he had screamed. All heads click to face him. When no one answers, he speaks again, louder and angrier. “Was I a bet? Was I a fucking bet?” 

“What?” Keith stumbles out. 

Lance chucks his phone across the table, allowing Keith 2 seconds to scan the screen before he continues. “I was a fucking bet?!” 

“No, no, no. Lance, please, I-I was going...I was going to tell you...I just--”

“So it’s true?!” He practically screams, pushing his chair back with such force that he absently worries about breaking the wall. “It’s fucking true?!” He’d been silently hoping that Keith would deny it. Call it rumor. Say it was just people trying to start trouble again. Keith doesn’t say anything, can’t even meet Lance’s eyes. “ANSWER ME” He yells. He hates raising his voice. He doesn’t like being like this but he can feel his entire being collapsing. He’s so angry. So betrayed. So hurt. “I-I...I caNNOT BELIEVE--” He cuts himself off, taking a deep breath before restarting. “How much?” Keith looks up at that. 

“W-What?” He whispers. 

“How much? How fucking much? How much did they promise you?!”

“Who?”

“ _ Who _ ?” Lance laughs incredulously. “Who the fuck do you think?! Zarkon! Lotor! Nyma! Haggar! How much did those assholes promise you to do this? How much fucking money did it take for you to gain my trust? To tell you everything! To show you everything! Fuck, I  _ gave  _ you  _ everything!!” _ Tears are welling in his eyes but he’s done letting his tears control him. He doesn’t want to let Keith see him weak. To give him that satisfaction. He had hurt him enough already. 

Keith can’t seem to form any response to that. Just stutters for a moment, between pleading and apologizing. 

“Unbelievable.” Lance scoffs. He is standing, his chest rising and falling rapidly in fury and he feels his eyes and chest burning. “Un-fucking-believable. I thought you were different. But you were  _ just  _ like them! Why’d you do it? Were you trying to do what they want? Teach me a lesson? About how I treat people? That’s what Zack told me the first time he ever pounded me into a locker. That someone should teach me a lesson. Were you that person, Keith?!” Keith remains silent. There’s nothing he can say now that will change what happened. He knows that. He just needs to let Lance get this out. “Well. Lesson learned. Are you proud? Are you happy? I hope so.” Lance lets out a huff, looking away in disgust for a minute before looking back. “Happy 6 month anniversary, asshole. Burn in hell, we’re done” Lance spits, picking up his cards and throwing them in Keith’s face before storming out. 

Keith jumps up to follow him, to beg for forgiveness, to grovel, to cry. Anything. But Hunk is in front of him, pushing him back into his seat with a burning look in his eyes. “Sit the fuck down. Don’t ever come near us again” He warns before running after Lance. Keith knows he deserves it but it doesn’t make the pain in his chest subside at all. 

The room is suddenly quiet again as the door slams. No one dares to move or breathe. 

Well, until Pidge speaks up. “Is this why you wanted to tell him? Did you--?” Keith hisses in a breath before muttering a small, “shut up.” Pidge blinks a bit taken aback but she knows he’s hurting so she gives him a break. “Keith. I’m just asking---”

“Well, stop asking! Just shut the fuck up!”

“Keith--!”

“This is all your fault! None of this shit would’ve happened if it wasn’t for you!”

“ _ Excuse me!?  _ You mean the relationship that made you the happiest you’ve  _ ever  _ been?! I’m sorry that assholes 1 and 2 found out but--”

“I never asked you to get involved in my romantic life!” 

“This is  _ not  _ my fault. You can’t blame me--”

“I can because it is your fault!” 

Pidge snaps her mouth shut. This is a losing battle and she knows he’s angry. He won’t listen to reason right now. He needs time to see that this was not only on her. He needs time. 

“Fine. Call me when you pull your head out of your ass and realize that this is not my fault and that living in denial will not make it any less true.” She stands up, grabbing her bag and heading towards the door.

“Don’t hold your fucking breath.” Keith snaps. As she walks out the door she hears, “Don’t come over anymore”

Which. 

Fine.

It’s not like she needs him anyway. 

 

\--

 

When the door slams for the 3rd time, Keith is left alone. Except. He’s not alone. Shiro is still there. Sitting at the end of the table. Keith is afraid--no. Petrified -- to see what his face looks like. Slowly, he works up the courage to look over. When he does, Shiro’s expression is blank. He isn’t looking at Keith, just staring in the distance. 

“Shiro--” Keith starts but Shiro pushes his chair back quickly and leaves the room before he can say anything more. 

And now. 

Keith is alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)  
> (Cry with me)
> 
> PLS COMMENT IT INSPIRES ME TO WRITE. ILY ALL I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED AND CRIED!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aight, this is kinda short but I wanted to put this up. 
> 
> THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR THE COMMENTS (my last chapter got the most comments of all the chapters lmao) ILY ALL.  
> PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT ON THIS FOR MORE SO THAT I'M INSPIRED TO WRITE. HOPE YOU ENJOYED/SUFFERED :)

Lance runs. He runs and he’s not really sure how but his feet bring him home. He’s fiddling with the key and pushing into his house before he realizes it. His mind is buzzing and all he can feel is the pain in his chest. He vaguely wonders if this is what it feels like to die and he finds that he doesn’t really find that thought too disturbing.

He wanted to be sick. Everything he’d ever had with Keith had been a lie. He probably didn’t even like Lance. He saw him in the same way that the rest of the school did. And if everyone saw him that way, it must be true, right? That’s a lot people to be seeing wrong. And now the only person besides Hunk to deny the names he got called had been lying to him the whole time.

_You’re disgusting_

_I’m sure he couldn’t wait to get rid of you._

_All you ever did was drag him down._

_Doesn’t matter, just go find another boy to fuck, you little whore_

_How could you think someone could love you?_

_No one loves you_

_Just kill yourself_

_Everyone wants you to_

_They’d probably throw a party if you did_

_Think of how many messages you’ve gotten with kill yourself_

_No one wants you_

_No one loves you_

_Everyone hates you_

_End it_

_End it_

End.it.

There was a blade pressed against his arm before he could blink, ready to pull it straight down his arm and end it right there. But. His door came crashing open and Hunk came pouring in. He took one look at Lance--who froze upon the door opening--and grabbed Lance’s hands.

“No, no, no, no. Lance. No. You can’t do this. Don’t do this.”

“I have to!” Lance sobbed, “It’s what everyone wants!” He isn’t looking at Hunk just blankly into space.

“Really?! Everyone?! Your mom wants this?! All your hermanos and hermanas want this?! All your cousins?! Grandparents?!” Hunk asks, his hand holding the blade above Lance’s skin because Lance was still gripping it like a lifeline. “I want this?!"

“Yes! All I do is make people miserable. If I do this--”

“If you do this, you _will_ make people miserable….Lance I don’t know what I would do without you and your speeding, your dumb ass jokes, your loud presence, your obsession with Beyonce, and your compassion. What would your hermanos do if you weren't there to give them advice and sing them songs and read them stories? To put them to bed and help them get ready? What would your mama do if she didn't have you? Her baby boy? Your grandparents? Their grandson? Lance, you don’t see it but you’re like a giant light in my life. In your family’s lives. If you were gone I don’t know what I’d do….Fuck Lotor, fuck Zarkon, fuck Haggar and Nyma and all their bitch asses they don’t matter but we matter. Your family matters. You’re my best friend and my brother. Please don’t make me lose my brother.” Hunk pleas.

Lance’s grip slackens and his head droops as a sob comes rushing out of his throat. Hunk quickly takes the razor and pockets it to dispose of later. Then, he sits next to Lance on the bed and pulls the smaller boy in.

“How could he do that?” Lance sobs. “How could he---I...I gave him all of me...I thought-” He breaks off with another gasping sob. “I loved him!...I love him. Fuck. Fuck him, I still love him.”

Hunk doesn’t know the words to make all of the better. Doesn’t think there are any. So instead, he lays down and pulls Lance into his side. He doesn’t know how to solve this because there is no solution but he does know how to cuddle and how to make sure Lance feels loved. So that is what he is going to do. He is going to stay here cuddling with him until he feels better.

 

\--

 

Loneliness is not exactly a new concept for Keith. He’s been alone before. His parents used to leave him alone at home all the time while they went drinking or smoking. He had been alone. He could deal with loneliness. But...that was a long time ago. And when he was adopted, he gained Shiro and Pidge and since then it seemed that one of the two was always around. So, it’d been a couple of years since he felt this alone.

After Shiro had ignored him and left, Keith decided that he couldn’t be in this house anymore. He had to get out. So he left. He didn’t know where he could go, he had lost all his friends and his boyfriend in the blink of an eye. At least before he had Pidge. But now he’d screw that up too. He’d screwed everything up. _This is what you do. Everyone that surrounds you gets hurt. You knew that already. Just look at your family. Your parents. Your brother. They all died._ His head was swimming in fog. _I bet they did it on purpose. Your parents. Bet they decided together to drive off that bridge to get away from their worthless brat. I mean look how fast Greg took off, left you behind. He must’ve hated you and your nonsense whining. They’re all smart for getting out._

There’s a honking noise and Keith blinks. He doesn’t know where he is. He looks up and around him. He’s standing in the middle of the road, hands grasping the sides of his head. An angry driver sits in front of a green light blocked only by him. “S-Sorry” Keith gasps out the apology before running out of the way. The guy rolls his eyes and drives off. Keith stands on the edge of the sidewalk, staring at nothing. He feels numb. His whole life had collapsed in a matter of seconds. _You should’ve let that guy run you over._

 

\--

 

“I’m not going.” Lance hasn’t moved all weekend except to go to the bathroom. Hunk is standing at the edge of his bed, holding his backpack and Lance’s backpack.

“Lance. You have to”

“Why? Why do I have to? Why do I have to see all those people who know?! That I’m such a fucking idiot that I believed someone actually loved me.”

“You’re not an idiot. You believed him because you like to see the best of people and they used that against you. You’re not stupid for that. You’re amazing. And I promise not everyone at school sees you that way. You saw the messages. A lot of people think Zarkon and Lotor are dicks for spreading this around so publicly.” Lance doesn’t respond, just pulls his blanket closer into his chest. “If you go, I’ll bake you so free cakes”

“You’ll give me those anyway, you love me”

“Not if you don’t do to school”

“Whatever”

“Lance. No. Not whatever. You can’t do this. He hurt you, yes. But that’s his mistake. His mistake for not seeing how wonderful you are. Don’t give him the satisfaction of keeping you in your bed, hiding.”

“I don’t care! I just want to stay in my bedroom and mope! I deserve that!”

“You do.” Hunk agrees, “but you’ve also moped all weekend long and if you miss anymore school, you may not graduate. Now get up”

 

\--

Part of Hunk expects to see Zarkon and Lotor hoisting Keith over their heads in celebration when they arrive at the school. He expects music and a giant party. That’s not the case, though, instead it seems like nothing ever happened. Like their world changed so drastically but everyone else’s had just continued. People had still gone out partying and hanging out with their friends this weekend. It seemed impossible to Hunk.

Lance stepped out of the car and immediately looked like he wanted to go back in.

“Lance, you’re going to be fine” He reassured. He knew Lance’s anxiety was at an all time high and that he could break at any moment. Lance gave a shaky nod before heading towards the school.

 

\--

 

“Did you get that message?”

“About what he did? Yeah, what a dick”

“What kind of asshole makes a bet on someone?” A girl sneers, knowing Keith could hear her.

“Can’t believe him and Zarkon aren’t best friends” Someone laughed.

“They probably are. I mean, he faked that relationship he could fake hating someone.” A guy shrugs.

“McClain isn’t that bad”

“No, he’s actually kind of funny”

“I feel so bad for him”

“Me too. But he deserves better than that dickhead anyway”

Voices swarmed around Keith as he walked down the halls. The day hadn’t even started yet and already he couldn’t breathe. He knew everyone in the school hated him and those who didn’t weren’t exactly people he wanted to be involved with. _Hell,_ he hated him too.

He was wearing a black hoodie over his jeans, his hands shoved in his pockets and his hood up. He didn’t want to see anyone or have anyone see him. He knew he looked like ass, his eyes still swollen and his nose red. He hadn’t stopped feeling nauseous since Lance threw that phone at him. He felt like the world had suddenly begun spinning infinitely faster and he was just clawing at something--anything--in hopes of holding on. _You don’t deserve to hold on. You deserve everything that’s coming at you. You deserve to burn._

It’s as he thinks that that a hand slaps him on the back.

“Great job by the way, who knew you had it in you?” Some guy that Keith has never spoken to is cheering in his ear before moving on. This happens 3 more times as he walks down the hall to his first period class, each time, the ringing in his ears getting louder and louder. He doesn’t know if he’s breathing or moving. He’s become numb to everything. His body practically on autopilot.

He barely registers that he is sitting in his chair in class before the bell is ringing and his teacher begins lecturing. His mind drifts away from the discussion, though, leading back to his self destructive thoughts.

_Everyone in this room must hate you_

_Everyone hates you._

_You deserve to be hated._

**_I hate me._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT ON THIS FOR MORE SO THAT I'M INSPIRED TO WRITE. HOPE YOU ENJOYED/SUFFERED :)


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So someone commented that (basically) they hate that Keith isn't apologizing to Lance and all but I just want to make it clear that Keith thinks that Lance will be better off without him and that Lance doesn't want anything to do with him ever again. Not even to apologize. Like he thinks Lance will consider him apologizing as trying to take him back and he also doesn't think he can take another rejection. I just wanted to say this here because I don't know exactly how to incorporate it into the story casually. So. There you go. 
> 
> ALSO, Keith is making shitty decisions because he truly believes that the only people who want him even remotely near him are Zarkon and his friends + they are using his incident with the knife against him to keep him under their control. and he doesn't exactly want to be friends with them but he doesn't think he has any other choices. 
> 
> Also!! Pidge is not trying to be a bad person, she just wants a friend and her only friend for her entire life just accused her of trying to ruin his life. She is only 14 and she never wanted to hurt anyone. 
> 
> TW: panic attack/ bedwetting   
> PLS COMMENT I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER   
> ILY AND I'M SORRY FOR HURTING THEM !!

“Lance?” A voice behind them grabs the attention of the two boys. They were sitting in the lunchroom, at their normal table (“why should we move, he fucked up” Hunk had argued and Lance had been too tired to argue against him.) The two swing around to face the younger girl standing behind them, clutching her books closely to her chest. She is looking down sheepishly at her feet.

“Pidge?” Hunk asks. She looks up through her glasses at them, biting her lip. 

“I...I’m sorry...about...all this…” Lance doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t want to say it’s okay because it’s not but it isn’t her fault. It’s not her fault that Keith made this bet or that the whole school knew. It just was. “And I know it’s not okay...and I know it sucks...but I just wanted to tell you that you’re not...alone. I mean, you have Hunk…” She drawls before shrugging, “and me...if-if you want to still be my friend” she quickly adds on.

“What about Keith?”

“I hate what he did. I think it’s really screwed up” She insists, “you didn’t deserve that. No one does” 

Lance takes a second to process this. What if this is all a part of some scheme to win Lance’s trust back and then break him all over again? Or what if she seriously isn’t friends with Keith anymore? What if she and him agreed that she pretends to be his friend to get close to him? What if--?

But who was Lance to be turning away friends? Especially now?

He could keep her at an arm’s length, not let her truly see what is going on, but still have a friend. If she’s really as done with Keith as she says she is, then she most likely has no one either. So maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. 

After a long time of awkward silence, Lance finally gives a slow nod before moving his backpack and letting Pidge sit down. “Yeah. We can be friends...just...it will probably take me a long time to trust you, for obvious reasons”

“Of course, I totally get that.”

 

\--

 

Keith thought the worst thing in the world would have been losing Lance. He had felt like his lungs and heart had been ripped straight out of his throat and shoved back again. He felt like he’d never be happy again. He felt like he’d never  _ breathe  _ again. He--

He thought wrong. 

The worst thing in the world was losing Lance and all of his friends. The worst thing in the world was getting pats on the back for the worst thing he’d ever done. The worst thing in the world was seeing the looks of disgust on passing faces. The worst thing in the world was walking into the school lunchroom and realizing he’d have nowhere to sit today. The worst thing in the world was looking over at the table he normally sat at to see Lance sitting with Pidge and Hunk. The worst thing was the feeling of sickness that washed over his like cold water. The worst thing was the innate desire to rip his own eyes out of his skull and to have never seen it. The worst thing was the knowledge that  _ he did this.  _

And then, the one thing worse than the worst thing in the world happened. A familiar voice shouted out his name. He turned towards it to see Zarkon waving him over, shouting “Come sit with us, man!” He notices in his peripheral that people are turning, looking between him and Zarkon.  _ I wonder if Lance is looking. I wonder what he’s thinking.  _ He feels his feet moving towards the table against his will. He wants answers. Zarkon had given him till midnight and he hadn’t kept up his end of the deal. He approaches the table and he can practically feel the tone of the room ( _ Of course he went over, he had everyone fooled. Poor Lance, he fell for that asshole.)  _

“What?” He growls. 

“Awe, don’t be like that! We helped you out!” 

“How do you figure?” 

“We helped you lose that dumbass and that little nerd freak”

“Don’t call them--”

“Shhh, shh, shh” Lotor whispers, appearing behind him, his finger trailing against his shoulder. “You can thank us later” He whispers against his ears. 

Keith sees red and he moves to punch Lotor but a single word stops him. “ _ Unless” _

“Unless what?”

“Unless the principal just happens to find out about how badly you’ve been treating us all year” Zarkon smirks. 

“What are you talking about?!”

“Oh, please. You don’t think there’s been enough witnesses of you punching or... _ threatening  _ all of us for principal Iverson to expel you? Plus, now that you’re the most hated person in school, no one is going to stand up against us for  _ you _ of all people” 

“That’s bull--”

“Is it? Just look around?”

Keith turns and meets the eyes of an entire room of students, all giving him the same look. Hatred. They all hate him. They all think he’s repulsive. They see everything he didn’t want them to see. They see the part he’d tried to hide for his entire life. 

“We’re the only ones who don’t despise you, babe. So, why don’t you just stop resisting and sit down. Join the group you were always meant to be a part of” Nyma shifts over, leaving room on the bench for Keith to sit down. 

He can feel the room holding it’s breath. No one dares to move or blink. They all want to see what he does. Who he chooses. 

And he decides. 

He takes the seat. 

 

\--

 

Hunk and Pidge are ready to catch Lance when he takes off running or when he starts to break down. They aren’t expecting what really happens. They aren’t expecting him to stare at Keith’s head for 5 minutes after he sits down before sighing and stabbing his lunch with his fork. It’s too...small of a reaction. They hold their breath, waiting for the explosion that never comes. 

“Lance? Buddy, are you okay?” Hunk asks finally. 

Lance just lets out a bitter laugh and shakes his head, still looking down at his tray. “I knew it.” He laughs. “I knew he was just like them, this isn’t a shock. Whatever. It’s clear who he wants to be and it’s clear that the Keith he told me he was is not the Keith he wants to be. That’s totally his choice and who am I to hold him back from what he wants, right?” He shrugs. “Whatever. Just...let’s move on, how is school?” 

 

\--

 

_ “When you see something that scares you, don’t run away. Don’t shut your eyes. Face it head on. Be strong”  _ Keith blinked as his brother’s face appeared in front of him, a smile across his face. “ _ Be stronger, Keith. Why weren’t you stronger?” His brother’s face began to shift and suddenly the smile was gone, replaced now by a look of horror. Keith blinked again and there was blood. Dripping out from between his brother’s eyes. “Maybe if you were stronger I would still be here” his voice was distorting, going from softer to lower. “Why weren’t you stronger? Why?” _

_ Keith blinked again and the world spun. The scenery, which had previously been all white, changed and suddenly he was in his house. His old house. His parents standing in front of him, looks of happiness on their faces. It looked odd (maybe because Keith had never seen them happy before) but it only lasted a second before their features changed and suddenly they had the only expressions Keith had ever seen. Disdain. Disgust. Hatred. Disappoint. “You killed us, you dumb brat.” His mother hissed. “Maybe if we hadn’t had such a disappointment, we could’ve been happy” His father continued. “You killed us. You killed us. You killed us” _

_ The image faded and then he was standing in front of Shiro’s house. Shiro and his parents standing in a circle across the living room. They looked happy and carefree. Keith took a step forward. They were talking about something and he couldn’t tell what it was. As he approached, they turned to face him. Their faces no longer seemed happy and carefree. Now Shiro’s mother looked stressed and tired. His father looked angry. Shiro looked disappointed. “We were so happy. Before you came along” His mother complained tiredly. “We didn’t have to deal with your constant whining and issues” His father groaned. “Why do you have to screw up everyone’s lives?” Shiro bit out, stepping closer to him. Keith couldn’t back up, as though his feet were frozen in place. Shiro was in his face now. He picked up Keith by his collar. “Why did you ever have to bother us?” He growled before throwing Keith backwards. _

_ As he flew back, the scene changed. When he landed, he was in Pidge’s yard. She was standing above him. A small smile on her face. “I just wanted to say thank you.” Keith shook his head in confusion, “Thank you for wasting all those years of my life. If I’d never met you, I might’ve had more time to be friends with people like Lance. People who won’t fuck up my life. Who won’t falsely accuse me of things. Thank you for fucking up my life” She bit out before kicking him hard in the side.  _

_ He squeezed his eyes shut tightly against the pain. He didn’t want to open them again. He wanted this to be over, to end. “Are you happy?” Lance’s voice is small and weak. Keith opens his eyes and shakes his head. Lance is standing across from him. His wrists are slit and bleeding out but Keith feels like gravity is pushing all his weight closer and closer to the center of the Earth. He can’t speak or move. He can only watch. “Are you happy that you hurt everyone that has ever known you? Maybe you were right. Maybe you are just like your dad. You fuck up everything. You hurt everyone. You’re the reason that everyone in your family has died. They all left you because they hated you.” Lance is moving closer now, blood pooling under him with every step until he’s standing right above Keith, blood dripping at a rapid pace onto his body and face. “Everyone would just be happier if you were gone. Everyone hates you. We all hate you. I hate you! I hate you! I wish I’d never met you all you ever did was hurt me! I hate you, I hate you, I hate--”  _

Keith comes to and finds himself choking on a scream, tears pouring down his cheeks. His heart is pounding and squeezing in a way that doesn’t feel normal. He feels like he’s covered in blood and he can’t catch his breath. He’s dying. He’s dying. He’s sure of it. He sits up and tries to catch his breath but he can’t. He feels like there’s an anvil on his chest and that with every gasp the anvil is being pushed further and further in. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to breathe clearly but then he starts thinking about what he always told Lance to do during a panic attack he starts panicking again because he fucked that up and people like him  _ don’t deserve to live _ . He doesn’t deserve to live. His vision is foggy and his mind is spinning and even though it’s dark he can tell that he’s not getting enough oxygen. He keeps gasping and crying for a whole 10 minutes in a desperate attempt to not pass out before he can even begin to calm down. Finally, he regains enough composure to lean over and flick on the lights. Upon doing so, he realizes that the feeling of blood on him has not subsided. He quickly looks down to confirm that there is no blood on him. There isn’t. Instead, he finds the sheets are soaked through. With pee. He nearly has another anxiety attack just upon seeing that. 

_ Now you’re a child too? You can’t even hold your fucking bladder? What the fuck is wrong with you? You truly are the world’s biggest screw up, I swear to God.  _

 

\--

 

Keith had managed to get his sheets and clothes into the wash without waking anyone else up and had gotten into the shower. Now that he wasn’t actively doing something, his mind was racing again. He still couldn’t breathe correctly. He hadn’t been able to since Lance had found out and he didn’t feel like he’d ever feel okay again. 

What was he even around for? 

 

\--

 

Lance didn’t feel better.

Not by any means. 

The first and only person he’d ever loved had betrayed him. Had been lying. Had taken everything from him. And now. He could feel him in everything he did and saw him in every corner of his room and life. 

He felt like he was being suffocated by his presence. 

But Hunk and Pidge helped. They kept his mind distracted. Pidge would ask him to tell her annoying jokes and pickup lines. Hunk would play his favorite music and challenge (he very carefully avoided the use of the word ‘bet’) him to rounds of any game (other than Mario Kart and Mortal Kombat.) Everyday after school they had come over and ate junk with him while he angrily destroyed people in GTA 5. He found himself, not happy, but distracted enough to almost be happy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So someone commented that (basically) they hate that Keith isn't apologizing to Lance and all but I just want to make it clear that Keith thinks that Lance will be better off without him and that Lance doesn't want anything to do with him ever again. Not even to apologize. Like he thinks Lance will consider him apologizing as trying to take him back and he also doesn't think he can take another rejection. I just wanted to say this here because I don't know exactly how to incorporate it into the story casually. So. There you go. 
> 
> ALSO, Keith is making shitty decisions because he truly believes that the only people who want him even remotely near him are Zarkon and his friends + they are using his incident with the knife against him to keep him under their control. and he doesn't exactly want to be friends with them but he doesn't think he has any other choices.
> 
> Also!! Pidge is not trying to be a bad person, she just wants a friend and her only friend for her entire life just accused her of trying to ruin his life. She is only 14 and she never wanted to hurt anyone. 
> 
> TW: panic attack/ bedwetting   
> PLS COMMENT I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER   
> ILY AND I'M SORRY FOR HURTING THEM !!


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so hopefully this doesn't suck as much as I feel it does :)))
> 
> PLS ENJOY AND COMMENT ILY ALL :)

“Can I explain?” 

Lance rolls his eyes and leans against the doorframe. “Explain what? How you proved yourself to be exactly like those assholes? I saw you sitting with them. You guys best buddies now or what? I mean the whole school is patting you on the back for a  _ job well done _ . This is what you wanted, right?”

“No, we’re--. I didn’t want this--...I just...want to tell you that I’m so sorry....I’m so so sorry.” Keith is pleading, he knows it but he doesn’t care. 

“Awe, you’re sorry? Oh that changes everything!” Lance mocks before going to slam the door. Keith slams his hand onto the door and Lance sighs, opening it again. 

“Please.” He begs. “I called off the bet. I called it off months ago!”

“So? Does that make it better? Does that fix the fact that you made the bet in the first place?”

“No. But I...I never wanted to tell you. I just...I fell in love with you and I...I didn’t want to hurt you”

“That is bullshit. If you didn’t want to hurt me, you would’ve never made the bet or ever spoken to me. Why did you even make it anyway?”

“I...I regret it so much. I made the biggest mistake of my life when I agreed to it. I’m so so sorry. Please. Just--” Keith begs but he’s ignoring Lance’s question. 

“I regret it too. I wish I had never met you.” Is all he says before he pushes the door shut on Keith’s face. 

\--

Keith lets out a sob as the door slams shut and he drops his hand. He can’t tell Lance why he made the bet. He sounds just like them when he says it out loud. Lance had been dead on. He had done it to teach him a lesson about how he should treat people. It was shitty and he’d known that from the beginning but he’d still done it. Now, he would do anything to take it back. No matter what he did, he would never get Lance back and telling Lance the real reason he did it wouldn’t make it any better. 

\--

 

Wednesday night, Lance is sitting on his living room floor playing GTA. Pidge is sitting behind him on the couch. Hunk was supposed to come but he’d just received a job at the mall--and he was fucking good at it. He was a chef, only working there for a week and already he’s been promoted. Practically showing up all the other cooks.

Pidge’s been quiet for a long time but Lance assumes she was just thinking about some experiment, her head buried in a book...until...

“Lance. I...Can I tell you something…?” Lance nodded, not turning around from his screen where he was stealing an old woman’s car. “I wasn’t...entirely honest with you…about…this Keith thing…” 

“What do you mean?” Lance tried not to show that Keith’s name affected him but she sees how his shoulders tense. 

“Zarkon and Lotor...didn’t...make that bet with him…” 

The car stops on the screen for a second before he continues moving. “Oh yeah? Who did? You?” Lance tries to joke it off with a small laugh. He expects her to laugh too. But when she doesn’t and she remains silent, he freezes. “Pidge?” He turns to face her. Her face is white and her eyes are watering. 

“Please hear me out” 

“You made that bet?!” He demands, backing away from her, his controller now long forgotten.  “Why would you do that ?!”

“Keith...didn’t…” She sighs and Lance’s eye twitches. “He didn’t like you...like that” she scratches the back of her neck, “...but...I...knew you and him would...fall for each other as soon as he got over his...dislike for you…”

“Keith...he hated me?”

“He...he thought he did. All those things I told you...about those assumptions...they were Keith’s thoughts...he just...he thought you were so different...than I knew you are and he found out you were...he just...needed a push. I mean, you know how he is...so competitive...the bet made him...work for it…”

“So...our relationship...was just a competition to him?”

“No, I mean...yes. At first. But then--”

“Then he realized that I wasn’t all that bad?” Lance laughed bitterly. Pidge shrugs pathetically.

“I wasn’t lying when I told you that I never wanted to hurt you... I knew that when he fell for you he wouldn’t ever want to tell you. I didn’t anticipate that those assholes would ever find out. I never wanted you to get hurt.”

“I don’t care. You still made that bet. You lied to me. Why the fuck did you not tell me about this from the beginning?! I’m sick of everyone lying to me! You fucking...get out.” He demands, barely refraining from cursing her out. She freezes, giving him a pleading look. 

“I was going to try to...do this subtly...like…” she stutters her words, “get you to see that Keith wasn’t the horrible person you think he is...and tell you that this was really my fault but...then...I realized my plan was the one that got us in this mess to begin with...and I felt guilty...so I had to tell you…”

“Get the fuck out!” He yells, not wanting to hear anymore. She jumps to her feet. 

“I’m sorry, Lance” She whispers before leaving. 

 

\--

 

“Keith, baby!” A girl comes up behind him, snaking her arms around his shoulders and putting her head on his shoulder. He jolts away. He was in the courtyard, trying to avoid everyone. He was exhausted from trying to not fall apart all day and now this shit. “Awe, don’t be like that” She purrs, pulling him back. “I was just thinking...we’d be pretty good together…”

“No thanks” Keith shrugs trying to shake her off. 

“Are you sure? I think we’d look amazing” She states again, drawing out the last word in an attempt at seduction (maybe it would’ve worked if he wasn’t completely in love with Lance), strolling around so they are face to face. He felt her fake nails scratching lightly at the front of his shirt as her blue/purple eyes stared into his.  “And besides…we wouldn’t want to piss off my brother, now would we, doll face?” Now that he could see her face, he saw that it was Macy Zarkon. She was blonde and pretty enough with a good body. Maybe, if Keith was straight, he could be attracted to her. But he was very much gay and very much in love with Lance. “Come on, I need someone on my arm to make my ex jelly” She smiles wickedly. “And you, the new hotshot here, could do the trick. You’re hot enough”

“You’re forgetting that the whole school knows I’m gay”  

She just shrugs with a smile, putting her hand on Keith’s cheek. “Are you though? I think you were just...confused…” she leans in and presses a kiss to the edge of his lips before trailing down the side of his neck. He pushes against her grip again, wincing as he feels her lipstick sticking to his skin. “What’s this about? That Lance dude? You don’t seriously think you still have a chance with him, do you?” When Keith avoids her eyes and doesn’t answer she scoffs. “Honey, he’s never taking you back. What you did...I don’t think my brother would even do that” Keith’s heart breaks all over again as she repeats the truth that he already knew. “So, why not rebound...with me? Help all of us out. You get to move on, he sees that it’s really over, and me...well I get my man back when he sees how much better we are together.” Keith doesn’t say anything. “Come on. I don’t want to have to threaten you. It’s less work when you just agree”

“No. That’s my final answer” He insists through clenched teeth, pushing her away from him and turning away. He doesn’t like her and the last thing he needs to be doing is making anyone think he’s enjoying this by dating Macy Zarkon. Even if Zarkon and Lotor follow through with their threats. He can’t. He can’t hurt Lance again like this. 

“My brother will kill you.”  The sweet charm in her voice gone now, leaving her voice ugly. 

“Oh, yeah?” He laughs but it’s hollow. He turns to face her, clearly unimpressed. 

She steps forward, heels clicking against the pavement. “He will tear the heart out of you.”

“He already did” 

“Oh…” she practically laughs, “You think you have nothing left to lose...that’s cute. But you’re still afraid of anything happening to him, I can tell.” She looks at his eyes for a moment before smiling. Keith's stomach tightens at her threat and it must show on his face. “Ha, it’s still there.”

“Stay the fuck away from him--”

“I won’t have to do anything. Except hold you on my arm.” Her innocent smile falls back onto her face as though it never left and she flutters her eyelashes. 

 

\--

 

“Oh! There you are, honey!” She cheers as Keith walks into the kitchen. “Here, try this!” She insists, pushing a wooden spoon to his lips. Keith takes a small bite and forces a smile. 

“That’s really good, mom” He smiles at her before falling into a stool at the island. 

“Thanks, honey. It’s a new recipe. Chili.” She smiles before going back to the pot. He hears the click as she turns off the stove and turns back to him. She picks up a rag to wipe down the counter and looks at him with her head tilted slightly. He looks down at his hands, fiddling with them. He wants to pull out his knife if only to have something to hold but he knows how it scares his mother, so he won’t. “Are you alright?” 

“Of course” Keith nods, looking up quickly to give her a brief, fake smile. 

“Keith, honey, you know you can’t lie to me” She comes around the island counter and sitting next to him. She puts her hand on his shoulder. (He remembers how when they first adopted him, he wouldn’t let her touch him for a year. He tries not to think about how much that must have hurt her. He doesn’t let himself wonder why they kept him around. He can’t think about how many times they considered it.) “What happened? Is it about that boy? Lance? Did you have a fight?” 

Keith shakes his head, avoiding her eyes. “No…” He lies in instinctively, but catches himself, “I mean...yes but…” Hana just gives him a small smile. 

“Are you guys…” She trails off. 

Keith nods. “We’re...done. It’s over…” 

Hana sighs, “Oh, baby. I’m sorry. It’s his lo--” 

“It’s not. I-I screwed up.” 

“No--”

“I-I did. I-I….” He can’t. He can’t do this. Can’t tell another person and have them hate him. He doesn’t want to lose her too. Hana had always treated him equal to her own son and he didn’t want to hurt her. To disappoint her. Like he did with Shiro. Shiro who couldn’t even look him in the eye anymore. Or talk to him. Or be near him. “...C-could we not...talk about it?...I was thinking...maybe we could just...hang out?” He almost laugh at how pathetic that sounds. He’s asking his mother to hang out. But who else did he have?

Hana just smiles in that motherly way that makes Keith hate himself even more because he doesn’t deserve that look after what he did. He deserves all the looks of hatred he gets when he’s walking down the hall. “You don’t even have to ask. I’ll get some snacks, you choose a movie.”

And maybe Keith can pretend, for just 2 hours, like his whole world hasn’t gone to shit because of his own mistakes. 

 

\--

 

Keith doesn’t know how to fix this. He’s been wracking his brain for hours, desperately reaching for a way that he can fix Lance’s broken heart. He feels like anything he does will only make this worse for himself and for Lance and he doesn’t want to hurt Lance anymore than he already has.

The door opens but Keith doesn’t look up, too focused on the wood of the banister. He hears Allura calling out for Shiro but he can’t bring himself to look away or to speak. 

“Anyone home? Hello?” Allura calls and he hears her voice getting closer. “Hello--? Oh, Keith! Didn’t you hear me call?”

“Uh…” Keith stops to clear his throat, “uh, yeah. Sorry.” He forces himself to meet her eyes. Concern forms in her eyes and she drops her bag next to her. 

“Are you alright?” Keith nods, looking down. He’s lying but this is his problem. He dug his grave now he had to lie in it. No one else. “Keith...what’s wrong?”

She doesn’t know. 

Shiro didn’t tell her yet. 

So she doesn’t hate him yet. 

“Um, have you seen Shiro?” He ignored her question completely. 

“...No, not yet. Why?” She asks, sitting down next to him. “Keith...what happened with you guys? I mean you guys were always so close and then one day I came over and...you two haven’t spoken once…”

“How was school?”

Allura sighs, she knows she isn’t going to get him to talk about this any time soon. “School was good. Professor Coran gave us this killer assignment. Gonna take all week long--”  

The door opens and footsteps track into the house. The sound of keys clattering against a counter and then footsteps move toward him and Allura’s spot on the steps. Then, there is Shiro, standing in front of them. 

Keith looks up and meets Shiro’s eyes. They remain hard and cold as he stares right back at Keith. 

“Shiro” Keith’s voice has gone soft, his way of begging him to listen. But Shiro just shakes his head. 

“Allura, we have that thing. We gotta go” Is all he says before turning on his heel and walking away. Keith tries not to let Allura see as he feels his already shattered heart break further. 

“Keith?” She asks tentatively. He shakes his head, silently asking her not to push this. But his prayer goes unheard. “Keith, please talk to me” His eyes water against his will and he squeezes them shut. “Please, you have to talk to someone about this. Whatever it is.” He just looks up, knowing that his eyes are brimmed with tears but hoping she won’t notice. 

“I’m fine, I swear.” He forces a smile before nodding his head in the direction of where Shiro exited, “Now, go. You’re gonna be late.” He knows the ‘thing’ they have is probably fake and a way for Shiro to get Allura away from him but he doesn’t feel like acknowledging that or finding out the truth about it so he buys into the game. She looks hesitant, biting her lip and staring at Keith. She opens her mouth to speak but Keith cuts her off, “I’m fine, go.”

“This isn’t over” She promises, “We’ll talk when I get back” 

Keith doesn’t have it in him to argue so he just nods. 

 

\--

 

He hates it. He hates walking down the halls being anywhere near Macy, much less having her arm snaked around his waist, pulling him in closer as they walk. He hates hearing everyone whisper. 

“He’s not even gay”

“He faked it so well, I honestly believed him myself”

“What an ass to play someone like that”

He hates the way his heart sinks when he sees Lance and Hunk in the hall. He hates the way he prays that Lance won’t turn around and see them. He hates the way Lance turns with an almost happy expression before laying eyes on him and Macy as they walk next to Zarkon, Lotor, and Nyma. As she pulls him in and kisses him hard. When he pulls away, he looks for Lance but he’s gone.

_ This is for him. I know what they can do and I can’t let them hurt Lance anymore. I can’t.  _

**_You’re hurting him by doing this_** another part of his brain argues.

And he knows it’s true. That Lance will get hurt no matter what but at least it was under his control. He could keep Lance out of physical harm this way. 

\--

The next couple of weeks are a blur to Keith. He vaguely remembers getting pushed into a locker by a usually very calm and collected Hunk Garrett who told him that he was the living definition of scum and that he deserved to rot for what he did. He tells him that he wishes he would die (or maybe that was Keith’s mind filling in the blanks of their conversation. Keith couldn’t tell anymore as his thought and nightmares mixed with reality. But that doesn’t really sound like Hunk so maybe it was just a dream.) His eyelids become a constant heavy pressure as nightmares chase away sleep and thoughts cloud his focus during the day. Eventually, he becomes so numb that he can’t hear the voices as he walks down the halls and he barely flinches when Zarkon, Lotor, or Macy throw their arms around him or even begin to treat him like one of them. He stops resisting them. He belonged with them. They were the worst people alive and it only made sense that he belonged with them.

He starts going to their parties, after declining invite after invite it becomes easier to just say yes. Besides, free liquor. He goes to their parties and drinks as much as he can. It makes it easier for him when Macy gets so drunk that she sits in his lap and makes out with him for hours before she passes out. He drinks enough that he finally passes out himself and he is able to sleep for a few hours before he wakes up again in a cold sweat. 

His grades have dropped and he has had almost every teacher warn him that if he doesn’t get his act together soon, he will have to repeat this year. He doesn’t want to do that but every time he stares at the textbook assignments he begins thinking about how pointless it is to be doing all this work. It’s not like he’ll end up anywhere anyway. He has no skills and the only thing he’s remotely good at is hurting people. 

His parents are worried too. He knows. And he hates himself for it. He sees the way they look at him when he comes home at god knows what time. He sees how it’s hurting his mother. Part of him wants to beg for their forgiveness and tell them everything but he can’t. 

It’s better this way. Keep everyone at an arm’s length so that he can’t hurt them. It’s better. 

 

\--

 

Allura considers herself a very calm person, even in the face of crisis. It made her the person that most people came to when they were in distress and often the person to come up with a plan when things went south. However, beneath her calm exterior, she was often panicking underneath, using the necessary thinking and problem solving to mask her fear. So, when she entered the kitchen on Monday morning and saw her boyfriend’s little brother standing there her heart leapt into her throat. Shiro was at school, working on some project or something, and had told her she could stay there until he got home. He had said his parents wouldn’t be home until later that night. 

Keith, normally a pretty quiet person in general, was unnervingly silent and still. He was facing away from her, the medicine cabinet door swung open. “Keith?” Allura asked quietly, not wanting to scare the boy. He didn’t even flinch, though, his gaze still pointing to where his hands were in front of him. “Keith, are you okay?” She asked again, slightly louder. She moved towards him, his hands coming into view. In one hand, he held a bottle of pills that Allura couldn’t see the label of, and in the other he held a bottle of water. Keith was staring directly at the  _ Drug Facts  _ section of the label but Allura could tell his mind was definitely not processing anything he was seeing. Allura had a bad feeling about this. It didn’t look good. 

She and Keith had never finished their talk from earlier as Keith seemed to be avoiding her like the black plague. He wasn’t home very often either and when he was he was holed up in his room. And he was always alone now. She knew Shiro and Pidge were both mad at him for something that happened a few weeks ago, but neither of them would tell her what happened. She also knew that Lance stopped coming around, so she could only assume something happened with them as well. All of this was purely assumption, though. All she did know was that Keith had gotten really happy and looked more alive than she’d ever seen him for 6 months and then one day, all that light was gone. After that, he barely left his room during the day except to go to school, stayed out all night, and walked around looking half dead. 

Now she was looking at him and, while Keith had always been on the shorter side, he looked smaller than ever. He had to have lost at least 8 lbs since she last properly had a look at him a couple of weeks ago. She looked at his downcast eyes and could see the shadows under them, looking more like bruises--actually, Allura wasn’t entirely sure that they  _ weren’t  _ bruises. They could be the product of yet another beating at school or it could be from lack of sleep. Either way, it wasn’t good. She knew that everyone had been angry with Keith but she hadn’t been and hated herself for overlooking the boy and not noticing how his health had deteriorated so drastically. 

“Keith” She placed a tentative hand onto the boy’s forearm, making him jump. He looked up, purple, bruised eyes meeting her own concerned ones. Besides his jump, though, he hardly reacted. He blinked at her before looking back down at the bottles, mumbling “Sorry, didn’t hear you come in.” His voice was hoarse and quiet. 

“Are you alright?” She questioned again. 

After a beat, Keith nodded slowly. He muttered a small “yeah…” and dipping his head again before nodding his head faster, “yeah, I’m just….just...trying to figure out….” he cleared his throat, “how many…how many pills I’m supposed to take…” his voice cracked slightly and he rushed to clear his throat.

Allura nodded, concern not fogging her mind. “Okay...okay...well, what’s wrong?”

“I just...want the...the pain to...to stop…” After a second, he rattled the bottle in his hand, showing her the label. It was pain killers. Allura knew--and she knew that Keith knew--that you’re supposed to take 2 tablets. She didn’t say this, knowing that wouldn’t help. Instead, she nodded.

“Well...what’s wrong?” She asked tentatively. Keith didn’t respond. “Keith, what hurts?”  
Keith looked back up at Allura. His purple eyes were unfocused and brimmed with tears as he brought his hand up to his temple. Allura was about to speak again when he moved his hand again to his heart. A small, heartbreaking sob in the form of a gasp escaped from his lips, a tear rushing down his right cheek. Then another. And another. And before Allura could process, he was full on sobbing. She quickly grabbed the water and pills and threw them on the counter right as Keith’s grip loosened. Allura instinctively pulled him towards her chest. 

“I just want the pain to stop” He cried into her shirt. He pulled his knuckle to his lips, placing it between his teeth to silence the sobs. “I want everything to stop”

“I know...I know, I’m so sorry.” Allura whispered, holding him tightly. 

His whole body racked with sobs for a whole of 3 minutes and when they finally stopped, Keith went rigid. His whole body stiffened and he shot away from Allura like a shot from a cannon. Allura opened her mouth to ask him what was wrong, but he was already grabbing the bottle of pills and pulling it open. Allura panicked. In this state, she didn’t know what he would do. But as her hands reached for the bottle, Keith shook his head and let a small laugh leave his mouth. It sounded  _ wrong  _ after what she had just seen. “I’m so dumb. It’s two. I knew that” he laughed, as though it was ridiculous that he’d gotten so worked up over how many pills to take. As though that was the real issue. He just kept laughing. 

“Keith” Allura tried. They couldn’t just pretend that Keith hadn’t practically told Allura that he wanted everything--that he wanted his  _ life-- _ to stop. Keith was already shoving the two into his mouth and shoving the bottle into the cabinet. “Keith, please” she tried again, standing up. 

“I actually have a lot of...homework I’ve gotta do...so I’ll see you” was all he said before rushing to his room and out of sight. 

 

\--

 

“Shiro, I’m just saying. Have you even tried to talk to him recently?” 

“No, and I don’t plan to” 

“Shiro! Look, I don’t know what happened because  _ no one  _ will tell me, but I do know that something is wrong! Whatever he did, you need to get over it and get over yourself! He needs help!”

“He needs to learn from his mistakes!”

“What mistakes?!” 

“He didn’t tell you because he knew you’d be just as disappointed.” Shiro shrugs, “Lance, you remember him? Yeah, he made a bet with some kids that he couldn’t make Lance fall in love with him so that he could break his heart”

Allura is silent now and Keith bites his lip to hold back. His back is pressed against the wall and he’s barely breathing, praying they don’t see him. She knows now and she hates him too. He had tried so hard to keep her in the dark to enjoy the time he had with someone who didn’t know. Who didn’t hate him. 

“Fine. He did a horrible thing. Now get over it and talk to him!” She was...fighting for him?

“Allura, I can’t. I can’t stand to think that the person I’ve known for so many years is capable of doing such a terrible thing. I can’t do it.” 

“I can’t believe that you could hear me telling you you need to check on him and still ignore this! The Shiro I fell in love with would  _ never  _ let this go past him”

“Well, maybe we’re not the same people we were when we fell in love” 

Were they breaking up?! No, no, no, no, no. They were  _ Shiro and Allura  _ they didn’t fight like this. They didn’t break up. This was new. This was bad. This was...Keith’s fault. 

“Maybe we’re not.” Allura sighs. “I...I have to go” He hears her pick up her bag and head for the door. He hears Shiro ignore her and head upstairs. 

He had to stop this. They couldn’t end. They were perfect together. He couldn’t screw up their lives too!

“Allura?” Keith stops her as she opens her car door. She turns to face him, a small smile on her lips. 

“Keith. Hey, how you doing?”

“Allura, don’t do this...I appreciate it. I do. But don’t.”

Her eyebrows scrunch and she shuts the door, walking towards him again. “Do what?”

“Don’t fight this fight. My fight. Just...be happy with Shiro. I screwed this up and...just don’t do it, okay? Don’t fight for me.”

“Keith…-”

“No. Just don’t. I can’t stand it if I ruin your lives too. I can’t”

“Keith, you’re not.”

“Just. Please” He begs. “Leave it.” 

Allura’s mouth snaps shut and she considers it for a moment. “There’s more to this than this fight, Keith. You’re not responsible for this.”

Keith knows that’s her way of saying she won’t back down but there’s nothing he can say to convince her otherwise. So he shuts his mouth and nods as she gets into her car and pulls away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so hopefully this doesn't suck as much as I feel it does :)))
> 
> I know we don't see any of Lance's perspective here but it's coming I just wanted to show what Keith is going through and basically how bad he's struggling and how he really wants help but he's afraid of hurting anybody else and he doesn't really know what to do to fix all this. 
> 
> Also, Shiro and Allura's story will be explained just gimme time.
> 
> P.S. Pidge's plan was basically to gain Lance's trust and then when they were closer, she would tell her the truth and help them get back together but then she realizes that that plan would most likely crash and burn and lead to him thinking she was just trying to trick him so she tells him. (BTW all your reactions to Pidge like damn I've never gotten a response like that lmaoo)
> 
> One more thing: I'm really really sorry about the lack of Hunk in this story I'm just bad at writing for Hunk and I feel like whenever I do, it's shit so I always end up deleting anything I write for him. I'm sorry. I do love our cinnamon roll sunshine boy I stg. 
> 
> PLS ENJOY AND COMMENT ILY ALL :)


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE ATTEMPT/BLOOD  
> Please comment, hope you enjoyed! More explanation about the character's thoughts in the next chapter this was more just the actual events than their thoughts. :)

That was it. Something in Keith snapped. His whole mind fogged over and he didn’t know what he was doing anymore. He didn’t stay there long enough for Allura to pull out of the driveway. He turned on his ankle and stormed into the house. The door slammed behind him and shook the frame but he was past caring. He stormed into the kitchen.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He yelled at the older man standing by the sink. Said man turned to face Keith with a look of confusion and disbelief that Keith was speaking to him that way. He opened his mouth to say something--scold him, probably-- but Keith was angry and upset and he couldn’t let Shiro stop him now. “No, what the fuck is wrong with you? You just let her walk out like that?! She’s the best fucking thing that ever happened to you! And you let her walk out! How could you do that!? How can you take her for granted like that?! Like a fucking dumbass! YOU FUCKING DUMBFUCK!” He screamed. He was angrily waving his arms around and tears that he didn't realize were falling were staining his cheeks. 

The look of anger had started to melt off of Shiro’s face as he Keith yelled and Shiro realized. _He is angry about more than me letting Allura walk away._ He took a step closer to Keith but Keith backed up. “DON’T TOUCH ME” He yelled but Shiro still reached out and grabbed Keith’s wrist, trying to still his movements. Keith pulled at his brother’s grip angrily, muttering words angrily at him. “Let me go, you asshole. Let me go!”

Finally, Keith breaks out of Shiro’s grip and takes off running up the stairs. Shiro quickly follows after him as Keith gets to his room and locks his door. It doesn’t stop Shiro for long but it stops him for a few minutes as he tries to get Keith to open the door and then finally resigning to just breaking down the door. When he finally got into the room, his little brother was facing the window, shaking and crying. Shiro stepped forward.

_When had Keith lost so much weight?_

_When had he become so broken?_

“Stay away from me! I-I don’t….I’ll hurt you!” Keith pleads but his lasts words did not sound like a threat, more of a warning.

“You’re not going to hurt me” Shiro finally finds his voice.

“Yes! Yes, I will! I hurt everyone!” Keith sobs, bringing one hand up to his face.

“Not me. You’ve never hurt me.”

Keith swings around to face Shiro. “I did.” Shiro can’t process anything except the blood. There’s so much blood. Keith is skilled with a knife. He knows where to hit to make a person bleed. Enough to bleed out.

“Keith” He freezes for a millisecond before his brains registers just how bad this is. There is a lot of blood and more gushing by the second. He rips his shirt off and quickly walks toward Keith. Keith lets out a gasp and tries to back up but he’s already hitting the window. “Keith, please”

“Don’t save me” His voice is a plea. But Shiro keeps coming. “Shiro! Don’t save me! I want this! Everyone wants this!” Seeing that Shiro isn’t stopping, he looks at the window. Looks at the lock, contemplating, before deciding. He swings and hits Shiro’s jaw before grabbing the window lock and opening it. He is halfway through opening the window and climbing out when his torso is being tugged back. “Stop! Let ME GO!” Shiro’s heart is breaking as Keith begs and pleads. His arm is getting blood everywhere and he is still trying desperately to get out the window. Finally, Shiro gets one good pull while Keith’s grip is slackening and the two come tumbling back into the room. Shiro acts quickly to tie his shirt around his brother’s bleeding wrist and picks him up. He needs to take him to the hospital.

\--

Pidge is walking home from the library where she had been hanging out a lot recently. Having no friends kind of sucked ass but she figured that Keith would come around eventually. He would realize that he was wrong to blame all of this on her and she would apologize for becoming friends with Lance when she did. And everything would be fine. They would go back to the way they were. They would be fine.

That was her last thought as she pulled up to her house and was about to turn the key in the lock. Right before the door of the house next door slammed open and shirtless Shiro came running out holding a screaming Keith.

“Let me GO! You fucking! Get off of me! I want--I want this” Keith was gasping and sobbing.

Pidge froze as she saw the bloody t-shirt wrapped around Keith’s wrist. She was standing by the truck before she could blink. She’s opening the door and getting into the backseat without waiting for permission from Shiro. She figures he’s alright with it when he places Keith into the backseat and tells her to watch him.

“I’m not a child! I don’t need her to watch me!” Keith argues. His arguing is losing it’s bite at this point, the blood loss making his head spin and his words slur.

She just grabs his wrist and holds the t-shirt down to apply pressure. She does not let herself cry, she can’t breakdown now. Her best friend needs her.

 

\--

 

There was a sharp knock on Lance’s door and he groaned, getting up to answer it. It was probably the pizza he ordered. He pulled out the $20 from his pocket and swung the door open. Instead of a pizza man, though, an angry looking Allura stood there.

Lance sighed, putting the $20 in his pocket. First he’d tried himself, then he set Pidge, now he sent his brother’s girlfriend? Pathetic at this point.

“Wha--?”

“Have you seen Keith recently?”

Not the question he was expecting but...okay? “Uh...no? Did you not know--?”

“I don’t mean like talk to him. I mean _physically_ seen him?”

Lance scoffs, “Yeah, it’s kinda hard to miss him when he’s besties with the world’s largest jackasses and constantly making out with that fake blonde bitch in the halls.”

“No. Have you actually looked at him?”

“No.” Lance is losing his patience now. He bares his teeth. “Now why the fuck do you keep asking me that?”

“Because if you had you would know that he has bruises under his eyes--not bags, bruises--and that he’s lost a shit ton of weight--way more than healthy--and that he’s dying.”

“First, that’s dramatic as shit. Second, how is this my problem.”

“Because, I know if it was me, the first thing I would think is that he made that dumb bet because he could hang with those assholes, right? If that was the case, why does he look miserable?”

“Because he realized that it wasn’t all it was cut out to be?” Lance shrugs.

“Look, I know. You think he’s this horrible monster of a person...and maybe he was, when he made that bet. But he’s clearly not that person anymore”

“If that was true, why did he agree to be their friends and date the bitch?” Lance cocks an eyebrow.

Allura pauses for a beat, a look of surprise passing over her features before it returns to her calm state. She doesn’t know about that? Shocker.

“Maybe if you ever listened to him when he comes to you, you could ask him.” Allura gives him a knowing look, “I get it. You’re angry. But this--what you’re doing. This giant pity party--is not helping any of you. Even if he did the worst thing, don’t you think he should get a chance to explain? Even murderers on trial get that.”

She wasn’t wrong, Lance had to give her that. He hadn’t given anyone a chance to explain themselves, too shocked by the betrayals to hear what they were actually saying.

“Fine. What should I do?”

“Next time you see him. Actually see him. Not what you want to see” Allura pauses, “I agree that you didn’t deserve that bet. It was cruel. But Keith isn’t the same as when you started dating--I’m sure you’ve been told by Pidge. You’re both amazing people and you deserve happiness...just let him explain….just give him a chance” She gives him a pleading look and Lance sighs before nodding.

“I’ll give him a chance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :(  
> Shiro finally came around and realized that Keith was hurting and things might be okay. *fingers crossed*  
> PLEASE COMMENT ILY ALL HOPE YOU ENJOYED. :)


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay A few things:  
> 1) BOI I'm a shit author for not updating in 3 years, I'm so sorry and y'all are MVPs if you are currently reading this. School and work started and I got so unmotivated to write so I'm sorry!  
> 2) I'm going to rewrite this story completely when I finish because I really hate the way that I wrote the characters and focused solely on Lance and Keith, so if you want, look out for that I guess  
> 3) In the last chapter, I had messed up and made Allura know more stuff than she really should've so I went back and fixed it. It's not mandatory to go back and read it but basically she only knows what she's seen from Keith.   
> 4) This is sooooo short but there was some confusion last chapter so I had to put this one to connect some dots, sorry  
> 5) ENJOY ! LEAVE COMMENTS ILY

“So how’d you know where I live exactly?” Lance finally asks the silver haired girl. “I mean we’ve only really met once or twice…” He raised his eyebrow as he looks over to her. 

The girl blushes slightly and looks sheepish. She hesitants before sighing, “Don’t tell Keith,” she says, even though she knows Lance doesn’t want to speak to said boy ever again. Lance doesn’t bring this fact up, instead shrugging slightly. “Shiro has a tracker on his phone because he used to think he was gonna run away. He hasn’t needed it but it’s still there. It was a simple history check to find your address...I mean it’s the most recurring besides the school and his house.”

“He bugged him?” Lance half scoffs and half laughs. “That shit really happens?” He pauses, “Damn, I mean can’t say he isn’t a good brother, I guess” Lance laughs. Allura lets out a short, small laugh that sounds...sad. Lance’s eyebrows furrow together, trying to catch her eyes. He knows they’re not close but he doesn’t like seeing people upset--big brother instincts, he guesses--and he can’t not do something about it when he sees it. “Hey, what’s up?” 

Allura’s gaze is pointed at the ground as she shrugs. Her anger and determination has worn off and now all she can think about is her fight with Shiro. “ _ Maybe we’re not the same people we were when we fell in love.”  _ Had that been Shiro’s way of telling her he didn’t love her anymore? Were they over? All because of this? Did he really not love her anymore? She still loved him with all her heart, she’d take a bullet for him in a heartbeat. She had thought he would too...but maybe he wouldn’t anymore. 

“Hey, what’s going on?” Lance is in front of her now, tilting her chin up to meet her eyes. 

Allura, always the one to stay strong and collected, shakes her head and forces a smile. “Nothing, sorry I was just thinking--”

“Sorry but I call BS” Lance cuts her off, “My sister’s are the most hardcore stubborn girls who will never admit when they’re hurt but they almost always need someone to talk to...so if you’re thinking you can get out of this with lies, you got another thing coming.” Lance crosses his arms before giving her a smile. “Look, I know we’re not friends or anything but you can talk to me...if you want” 

Allura manages a smile at that, this boy who she barely knows is standing here willing to comfort her over something he has no knowledge of when he has so many of his own issues. “Lance, that’s sweet but--”

“Listen, whatever it is, I can probably help. I’ve been told I give great advice” Allura bites her lip. “C’mon,” he nudges her slightly, “it’ll stay between us. I promise.”

Allura pauses and then the words are leaving her lips, “Shiro and I had a fight about....well, it doesn’t matter...but….” She trails off and Lance takes the opportunity.

“Allura, couples fight but you and Shiro, you guys are like my relationship goals, I don’t think one fight is going to break you guys up, I wouldn’t worry.”

Allura shakes her head, “He said that we were different people...from when we fell in love...I think he meant--”

Firm hands landed on her shoulders and she looked at Lance. He had a determined look in his eyes. “Allura. I assure you, whatever he said was in the heat of the moment. He did not mean that he doesn’t love you anymore. He’d be stupid to say or even think that and Shiro is  _ not  _ stupid. I’m positive that next time you see him, he’s going to say he was stupid for saying that and apologize. I wouldn’t panic, okay?” 

“But what--”

“No. He loves you. I promise. He loves you just as much as you love him and you guys are gonna fly off into the sunset on a magical unicorn farting rainbows” Lance laughs and Allura can’t help laughing along to the boy’s contagious laughter. “But really, Allura. Don’t worry. If anyone’s gonna make it, it’s you too.”

Allura looks to the side and scoffs, “That’s funny”

Lance raises any eyebrow, “what is?”

She back at Lance, “That’s what Shiro and I said about you and Keith” 

Lance opens his mouth to respond but the sharp ring of Allura’s phone cuts them off. Allura fumbles slightly to read the contact ID--Shiro. She smiles and shows Lance who sends her a small thumbs up, masking how her comment threw him off. She hits accept and puts the phone to her ear. 

“Shiro--” she begins but is cut off. “Wait...Pidge? What--? No, I’m not--. Wait, slow down--! What happened..?” There’s silence and then Allura lets out a gasp and rushes for her bag that she had left on the counter.

“Allura?! What?” Lance’s eyes are wide as he watches her fumbling. “What’s going on? Allura!” 

“Oh my god. I’m on my way” 

She hangs up the phone and turns to leave, not even hearing Lance until he grabs her wrist and demands to know what happened. 

Now that she’s not frantically moving around, Lance can see the tears in her eyes--causing Lance’s heart to beat faster. 

“Lance…..” She breathes out sadly, “...it’s Keith...I have to go.”

“What? What’s Keith?” He demands. 

“He...he…”

“He what?!”

Her voice drops an octave, “he...he tried to kill himself…”


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think there are any triggers in this chapter but let me know if I'm wrong.   
> I love you all and please comment, it inspires me to write :)

Lance’s brain shuts off and he feels like his entire body is failing. His breathing falls out and suddenly the floor is falling away, giving way to an ocean, pulling him under. He can’t breathe or see, his vision is blurry and all he can hear is his blood pounding in his ears. His lungs feel like they are being overfilled with water. 

“Lance...ance….you to focus!...breathing” Allura’s voice breaks through in pieces, his vision focusing on the silver blur in front of him. “Listen..the hospital...going...fine...you have...breathe! Follow…,” she says, taking her hand and putting it to her chest. Lance focuses on the beat of her heart against his palm. Slowly, he feels his breathing regulating, his vision returning slowly but surely, his lungs sore but filling with air nonetheless. 

“Are you okay?” Allura asks, meeting Lance’s eyes. He nods after a moment of hesitation. 

“Ca-can...can I come with you?”

 

Pidge’s shirt has blood on it and she knows it should be worrying her more but Shiro is holding his blood-soaked shirt and Pidge is still in shock. She can’t do anything but wait and the lack of stimulation is letting her mind wander too much. Too much into what she could’ve done to avoid this and too much into why she didn’t notice the signs before it was too late. 

Shiro was sitting in the chair closest to the double doors they’d pushed Keith through.

_ “I’m sorry, sir, but you can’t come in here. We’ll update you as soon as possible, please have a seat”  _

The doctor had suggested it as though sitting and waiting was so easy. Pidge had been alternating between sitting and pacing the room since they’d arrived. Her hands were still stained with blood--even though she’d scrubbed them in the bathroom--from pressing on Keith’s--. 

She has to cut herself off. The thought and image of Keith...like that, of her best friend--. It hurts too much. 

She’s in the middle of pacing the floor again when the doors to the hospital open and Allura rushes in. 

With Lance. 

_ Fuck. _

“Pidge!” Allura cries out when she spots her, rushing over to her. “How is he?”

Pidge nearly bursts into tears at the question but she takes a deep breath, steadying herself before speaking. “H-he...he’s in surgery. They haven’t told us anything yet” She manages out in one breath. “You should...check on Shiro...he...he...hasn’t moved. Since…” she trails off, pointing her in the direction of the older man, sitting in the corner with his head in his hands, a bloody tee shirt pressed between his palms. 

“W-what...what did he--?” Lance whispers after Allura runs towards Shiro. 

Pidge takes a sharp intake of breath, squeezing her eyelids shut--forcing a tear to her eye--and then speaking again. “He...he...uh…” she is breathing hard, trying to keep herself together. “I never understood that  _ dumb  _ knife…” she mutters instead but Lance understands and lets out a small gasp. “He said he needed it... _ for protection”  _ she practically spits, “that’s what he said…” her voice is going quiet and it’s cracking, “who...who was he fighting?!” she asks, her voice strained, barely above a whisper. Tears are cascading down her cheeks now and Lance pulls the smaller girl into his chest because even though she broke his heart, he understands her emotions and knows that now is not the time to hold grudges. “I’m his best friend! I...I should have--”

“No…” Lance presses firmly, “there’s nothing you could have done.” Lance insists. 

“I could--I should’ve fought...harder” she’s hiccuping now, “h-he wa-warned me....that he’d push me a-away...I prom-promised I wouldn’t le-let him...bu-but I did. I le-left! I left him” she cries into his chest. 

Lance doesn’t know the words to say to make this better--he knows there are none--so he pulls Pidge closer to him and wraps his arms around her as she cries. 

 

“Family of Keith Kogane?” The doctor asks sometime later when they’re all sitting silently, Pidge leaning against Lance and Shiro and Allura holding hands to steady Shiro. His parents had arrived some time ago, panicked and hysterical. Allura and Pidge had helped to settle them down into a seat and wait. And they did. For 2 hours. They waited. So when the doctor called Keith’s name, they all shot up, frightening the doctor. 

“I’m his mother.” Hana jumps in, “how is he? Is he okay? Please tell me he’s going to be okay” she pleads. Her husband places a hand on her shoulder to calm her and looks to the doctor. 

Pidge grabbed Lance’s hand, to prepare herself and keep herself grounded. “Keith is alright. We were able to stop the bleeding and stitch them up...he is currently under sedation for his own safety” Pidge felt the way that Lance’s hand tightened around hers and she returns with a gentle squeeze to remind him that he’s not alone, “but once they wear off, he will be conscious. You can see him once we deem him safe….” The doctor pauses, “Due to the circumstances...we will need to keep Keith here for suicide watch for 72 hours and then, if we see that he is not a danger to himself, we can allow him to go home. While he is here, we can recommend some solutions to...prevent future…” the doctor trails off and pauses as the 6 take a collective moment to let out a sigh of relief. 

 

2 hours later, the sedatives have worn off and the doctors have allowed the family to go in. Pidge saw the way that Lance looked longingly and nearly jetted into the room after Shiro and his parents as they went towards Keith. She empathized, the pulling in her own chest nearly bringing her into the room herself. But both of them stayed seated in the waiting room, hands clasped in a form of support. Lance’s hands were shaking and Pidge’s red ones were clenched against Lance’s, causing her knuckles to turn white. 

“It’s okay” Lance whispers. Pidge isn’t sure if it’s meant for her or himself but she finds comfort in it anyway. “He’s okay” He repeats and she nods, leaning her head on his shoulder, letting her eyelids slide shut to the calming mantra of “he’s okay, it’s okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE ENJOY AND COMMENT (IT INSPIRES ME TO WRITE)


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow can you believe I produced real life trash today? I hope you enjoy this ugly chapter,, but I'll probably be editing it in the morning. I'll let you know in the chapter notes of the next chapter if I do! Thanks for reading, please comment ILY :)

Shiro’s parents go into the room first. They were all going to go together but Shiro took a step back, his breath hitching. He suddenly felt too suffocated and lightheaded. “Y-You guys...first. I-I need...a minute.” he insisted, leaning against the wall, taking deep breaths. He needs...he doesn’t know what he needs. 

Air? 

Space? 

Time? 

He’s about to make a break for it, admit that he can’t deal with this and deal with the consequences later, when a hand wraps around his and gives his a squeeze. He opens his eyes and Allura is standing next to him, hand firmly grasping his own.

“I’m here” is all she says, rubbing her thumb against the back of his hand. “I’m here.”

Shiro takes a deep breath, feeling more comfortable already, feeling like oxygen had been pumped back into the room, even if it was slowly. He can’t find words to thank Allura for knowing exactly what he needed but she doesn’t look expectant, instead she’s facing the door. She turns to him and gives him a small comforting smile. “I’m here. Whenever you’re ready” she promises. 

He takes another deep breath and nods, stepping away from the wall and putting his free hand on the doorknob. 

 

Lance doesn't really know what he is going to do when he sees Keith. He’s still angry--so, so angry--underneath all this horror and sadness. He’s still pissed beyond belief. But the way he’d felt when Allura had told him…he’d felt like someone was stabbing him in the chest and stomach. As though all of his energy and happiness were gushing out of him through puncture holes in his lungs and stomach. The thought of never seeing Keith again. Never seeing his smile or hearing his laugh. Never being surprised by the romantic things he does and then claims that he isn't romantic. Never see him playing with his siblings again. Never lose to him in Mario Kart again. Never get to wake up next to him again. He can’t imagine it. He can’t imagine himself happy ever again. 

So he doesn't know what to do. If he forgives Keith because he almost lost him, nothing would get fixed. They would stay broken and never be the same. But how do you tell the boy who just tried to--. How do you say you don't forgive them? How does that not make you a monster? 

 

Keith has white bandages on his wrists and an IV line in his hand. A pulse taker is on his left index finger. His skin is white, making him look smaller than average. He is awake, or at least his eyes are open, but he’s not moving or doing anything but breathing. His eyes are directed to the wall next to his bed and he doesn’t even blink at the sound of the door opening or when the doctor calls his name, telling him that he has visitors. 

     “Keith?” Hana asks. Keith doesn’t react so she continues. “Honey, it's mom” She moves towards him and places her hand on his on the bed. “Keith? Honey?” she asks, again. 

     The small action of touching his hand lurches him into action. “No!” he starts screaming, pulling his hand away. “No!” His eyes were wild and unseeing. He wasn’t there, his mind not processing who was there or who he was. 

      Hana gasps and lets out a shuddering gasp as someone p ulls her back from him. “Keith” she whimpers. 

      Keith pulls the IV straight from his hand, throwing it. Then he reaches for the bandage. Shiro, seeing this, jumps in. He puts his hand over the bandage to keep him from ripping it off. “Keith, please!” Shiro pleads. 

      “Fuck you!” Keith screams, trying to pry Shiro’s hand off, “No! Fuck you! Fuck you!” Keith is scratching Shiro’s skin; hard enough to break skin, but he can’t let go. 

Nurses barge into the room and work to restrain Keith. The doctor returns, pushing Shiro, Allura, and his parents out of the door, saying they needed space to work.

“Fuck you! Shouldn’t have—fuck you!!” Keith’s screams followed them out of the room, Shiro’s body curling in on itself as he heard his brother’s screams. 

 

“Fuck you!” 

Lance jolted awake to the screaming coming from down the hall. He shook Pidge slightly just as the doors opened and Shiro, Allura, and his parents came through the double doors. 

One look at Shiro’s face told him everything he needed to know.

He hadn’t known Shiro long, or even well, but he knew him well enough--almost entirely through how highly Keith had talked about him-- to know that he wasn’t a person who would cry over nothing. 

So, seeing Shiro’s face crumple and him collapse into a chair, his head in his hands…

Well...it didn’t bode well. 

Allura landed gracefully next to him pulling him into a hug, his face buried in her shoulder. She whispered something so quiet that Lance and Pidge couldn’t hear it and rubbed a hand through his hair. 

The rock that had been forming in Lance’s stomach for the past 2 hours, grew. If Shiro was in tears over seeing Keith--especially not if the screaming had anything to do with it--it couldn’t be good.

“I don’t know what I’m going to say” Lance speaks suddenly. It’d been an hour since anyone had been allowed into Keith’s room. Pidge looked up at the Cuban boy, surprised at the sound of his voice after such long silence. 

“What do you mean?” She asks quietly. 

“I mean...I...I don’t want to sound like a dick…but...this...this doesn’t change anything…” Lance is staring at his hands. He knows he sounds like a tool for this but it’s the truth. Still, he doesn’t want to meet Pidge’s eyes. “He still made that bet and broke my heart after I gave him everything. I still had to find out through Zarkon and every other dickwad in the school instead of him. I still had to see him hold and kiss Macy everyday in the halls and live with the knowledge that they definitely did some other stuff behind closed doors. I...I just can’t forgive that so easily...not just because--” Lance still can’t bring himself to even think the words, much less say them, so he breaks off. “My point is. I don’t know what I’ll say when I go in and see him.” 

Pidge is quiet for a second before she sits up and looks him in the eye. Her eyes are still bloodshot from crying and her hair’s a mess. “You don’t have to forgive him, hell, I wouldn’t either. But...maybe just listen to him? If he chooses to talk, listen?” 

 

It’s not for another hour before the doctors say that Keith has agreed to take visitors on the condition that they don’t touch him. Shiro and his parents go in first and this time there is no screaming or commotion. They enter and then after a few moments, they exit the room. Shiro looks over at Pidge and Lance and speaks to them for the first time all day, telling them that Keith wants to see them. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow can you believe I produced real life trash today? I hope you enjoy this ugly chapter,, but I'll probably be editing it in the morning. I'll let you know in the chapter notes of the next chapter if I do! Thanks for reading, please comment ILY :)


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short but kinda necessary chapter. All is not perfect yet, but hopefully it's getting there?

Lance’s throat goes dry. He doesn’t know if he can face the boy he lov--that broke his heart. But he’s moving towards the room anyway, Pidge’s hand wrapped around his the whole time. They’re standing in front of the door before Lance can process and Pidge is opening the door. The room is white. Really white. He thought hospital rooms were supposed to be colorful to make patients feel welcome or some shit. This was kind of the opposite of that effect. There’s a beeping in the corner of the room, coming from a machine in the corner. Lance isn’t sure if Keith really needs that because he’s not currently at risk of dying--right?!--so should they need that? 

Keith is sitting up in the bed, his knees folded into his chest, his arms wrapped around them. That mullet--the fucking mullet--is the only thing they can see. Keith’s cheek is pressed to his knee, his face turned towards the wall. 

 

“Keith, more people are here to see you” The doctor speaks. 

Keith knows he asked to see them but now he’s not ready. He’s not ready to face Lance and Pidge. They hated him and he was supposed to be dead. None of this was right. They shouldn’t even  _ be  _ here! 

“You guys should go home” He doesn’t even look up, something he’s glad he decided to do when the hoarseness of his voice makes him cringe. 

There’s silence for a moment that lasts so long that Keith’s convinced himself that they took his advice and jetted off. But then;

“No, you need us” 

He hasn’t heard his voice--his voice on  _ his  _ side--in so long that Keith wants to cry. He wants to breakdown and to have him just hold him. But he’s just being selfish again. He doesn’t deserve that. So instead he remains silent and staring at the wall. Maybe if he just acts cold enough, they will smarten up and leave him alone like he should be. 

“Keith” Pidge’s voice is so small.  _ She must hate it  _ he thinks. She spends most of her life trying to act bigger than she is and the fact that she sounds  _ so small _ breaks Keith’s heart. But still, he keeps his head down and his mouth shut. “Keith” she pushes again, practically pleading. “Keith, please talk to us.” He hears her take a step closer to him. “You said you didn’t want anyone to touch you but I can’t. Because if I’d listened to everything you wanted in the past, every time you got like this, we’d get nowhere. So can I please, please, hug you?” Pidge is pleading with him. 

She knows how he gets. 

She’s held him when he’s cried. 

About his parents. 

About his brother. 

She’s always been there.

And he fucked it up!

He'd hurt her! 

After everything she's done for him. 

_ You pushed her away! She tried to be there for you and like you always do, you hurt her!  _

_ Listen to her voice!  _

_ She’s hurting because of you! _

_ If only you had succeeded.  _

_ If only you hadn’t been so fucking obvious to Shiro. _

_ You even made him worry about you!  _ _ When he’s been right all along.  _

_ He was right to hate you for what you did.  _

_ You’re a monster.  _

_ Y _ _ ou don’t deserve love.  _

_ All you ever do is hurt people. _

_ Monster _

_ Monster _

_ Monster _

_ Monste--  _

Pidge’s arms are wrapped around him before he can get away and the voice is still there but it’s duller. 

“Please. I love you. I can’t lose you.” She whispers and that does it. 

 

Lance thought walking in and seeing him would be the worst part. But when Keith turned to face Pidge, tear stained cheeks, red eyes, and all, he knew how wrong he was. 

“You...You can’t love me. You can’t!” His voice is cracking and breaking and his eyes are welling with tears and Lance knows he can’t see anymore because they must be blinding him. He can’t see the way Pidge’s face threatens to break as he pushes her off him onto the bed in front of him. 

“Yes I can! I do!” Pidge begs but Keith is gone now. His arms--his bandaged arms--are wrapping around his face, making his words muffled. 

“No! You can’t! I-I’m a--and you can’t!” It seems like the only words Keith can say now are ‘I can’t.’ Every other sentence is failing. “You can’t! You just...you just can’t!” 

“Why not?” 

“You can’t--you can’t” he’s going in circles now, repeating the same words over and over again. “Y-you can’t! You can’t. You can’t--”

“Why not, Keith?” Pidge tries again, this time putting her hands on his, prying his fingers from his eyes. 

“Because I’m a monster!” he drops his hands and Lance can see the fight leaving him in that second. “I’m a monster” He repeats weaker. “I’m a monster and monsters don’t get love. They don’t--”

“Keith…” Pidge sighs, pulling his hands into hers. “You’re not a monster.” 

“Yes. Yes I am.” 

“No. Zarkon is a monster. Lotor is a monster. You are not a monster.” 

“I’m just like them!” He argues. 

“Are you?” Pidge cocks her head slightly, eyebrows scrunched. “So you’re telling me they  _ also  _ have such a huge conscious that they feel like they don’t deserve love or friends or  _ life  _ because of the things they do? Because it seems to me that they don’t.” Keith is silent at that. “You messed up but that doesn’t mean you can’t fix it.” 

Keith mumbles something that Lance can’t hear from the spot--that he hasn’t moved from--at the door but Pidge turns to look at him. 

“It’s not too late to try” is all that she says. 


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've decided this story will have two endings because a lot of people don't like happy endings/sad endings and I want to please all so I'll label them respectively when I post them but this chapter (possibly) will be the last consistent one for both.
> 
> EITHER WAY! ENJOY AND COMMENT!!!

Lance barely knows what’s going on but Pidge is standing up, squeezing Keith’s hand and pressing a kiss to his cheek. She makes her way towards Lance, passing him with a whisper of “listen”, and then she’s leaving the room. 

And then it’s just them. 

Lance doesn’t know what to do. 

He doesn’t know where to begin. 

“You don’t have to stay” Keith says when the silence must stretch on too long. Lance’s anxiety spikes at that. He hadn’t meant to make Keith feel like he didn’t want to be here!

“No!” he says too quickly before coughing and lowering his voice, “no. I want to. I wanted...to talk”

Keith chews on his lower lip and nods. “Okay…” he shuts his eyes for a second. “L...let’s talk” 

“...Everyone...everyone keeps telling me I have to listen...to hear your side of all this…”

“Oh. I didn’t--” Keith immediately starts out. 

“I know. I know you didn’t ask them to. But...I do want to know.”

Keith lowers his head. “There isn’t much to say, honestly. I’m everything you’re thinking and more. I did a fucked up thing--”

“Why?”

Keith looks up at that. “W-what?”

“ _ Why. _ Why did you do it?”

Keith’s cheeks turn red with shame and he gulps loudly before shrugging, his eyes moving around the room, avoiding Lance’s. 

“I don’t know” his response is mostly breath, an exhale. He shakes his head and when he speaks again his voice is just a whisper. “I...I...I hated you…” He says and even though Lance knew that already, his breath catches and his heart breaks a little. “Y...you always walked around...flirting with all these girls….and I...I thought you were this...horrible person. Who led people on and then...crushed their hearts…and looking back on it, maybe...I was just...jealous of your confidence...so I...I...wanted...to show you….what it’s like to have your heart….” He pauses because he knows how terrible it sounds, how terrible it _is_. “But then...we went out...and I started seeing.... _ you _ . The guy who worries about burdening everyone, the one who makes me laugh more than anyone I’ve ever met, the one who has little brothers and sisters that he cradles when they cry, the one who looks up to his big brother, the one who I fell in love with…” 

“What about Zarkon?” Lance doesn’t stop. He can’t pause and really process Keith’s words or he’ll break down. 

“What about him?” 

“Why’d you start hanging out with them?”

Keith looks at him now. “I’m one of them.” He says it so quietly and truthfully that it sends shivers down Lance’s spine. 

“Macy too?” Keith swallows thickly and shrugs. “You say you fell in love with me...but you got with her right after you broke--” Lance cuts off because he’s angry and he doesn’t want Keith to know how just how badly he hurt him. “So explain”

Keith looks even sadder at the hardness of Lance’s voice, if that was possible. “I-I can’t…” 

So there’s no reason behind it. Lance’s heart breaks because he’d been praying that there was a laundry list of reasons that led Keith to date her and to become besties with her brother and the rest of them. But there’s nothing. 

Lance hears himself scoff slightly and he turns to leave.

“..unless you don’t tell anyone” Keith finishes, his voice small and he’s staring at his hands. 

“Why not?” Lance doesn’t turn around. “So you can feed me more bullshit and I won’t find out? ” Keith is quiet for a second and Lance’s head spins around. “You were really going to feed me  _ more lies  _ after all of this?! After  _all_ the lies you've told me in our relationship! What kind of a dumbass are you?!” He’s just getting started but Keith interrupts. 

He’s shooting out of the bed, the IV stand rattling from the movement, and standing now.

“THE KIND THAT WANTS YOU ALIVE!” The noise is overwhelming in comparison to his whispers from before. His chest is rising and falling rapidly as his breathing speeds up and his face is growing red. “Okay?! That’s the kind of asshole I am! I’m the kind of asshole who would sit with those idiots at lunch and date that bitch so that you wouldn’t get beaten to a pulp! I’m the kind of asshole who would go to their fucking parties because it’s a lot easier to bear Macy’s tongue down your throat and--” he stops but only for a second because his breath hitches and whatever he was going to say--what  _ was  _ he going to say--gets swallowed by his ragged breaths. “It’s a lot easier when you have 5 beers in you! That’s the kind of asshole I am.” His anger has worn off and he collapses onto the edge of the bed, looking down. 

“What do you mean?” Is all Lance can manage. His head is spinning with all this new information. When Keith doesn’t respond, he asks again. Louder. “Keith. What do you mean?” 

“Zarkon and Lotor. They said that if I didn’t sit with them and play along and if I didn’t date Macy and make her look good, they’d...they’d hurt you.” Keith is whispering again. “They threatened to get me kicked out for the knife thing first but...when...when I told them I didn’t care...about myself anymore...they said...they said they’d go after you…” Lance doesn’t mean to but a small gasp escapes his lips and suddenly any anger that he had in his is leaving his body.  “You told me once that you wished you were invited to those dumb parties, y’know to see what happened. Nothing happens. Everyone shows up, gets drunk, has sex, leaves, and then repeats the next night.” 

“Did you?” Lance’s voice is quieter now, he doesn’t know if he wants to know the answer, but he has to. He needs to know. “Did you and Macy ever?” Keith’s silence and reluctance to meet his eyes is answer enough. “How many times?”

“I don’t know.”  _ That many?!  _ Lance feels the anger spiking again but then Keith speaks again. “I don’t remember any of them but she swears they happened so”

“What do you mean you don’t remember?”

Keith shrugs as though the information he just revealed wasn’t horrifying. “I don’t know. I must’ve been too drunk. I blacked out a few times.”

“So you were too drunk, but you guys had sex?”

“Well, yeah. We were ‘together’” 

“That’s not--Keith, that's--”

“Don’t.” Keith looks up and stares him dead in the eye. “It’s not.” Lance wants to push further but the look in Keith’s eye tells him that it’s a bad idea. “Anything else you want to know?”

Lance can’t think of anything but he doesn’t want to leave yet. He doesn’t know what to do with all the information he’s been given. He feels like he’s been given the world’s biggest puzzle and he can’t find the start. 

“Just one more question…” Keith gives him a look that says go ahead. “Why did you…” Lance can’t say it but Keith gets the point. 

“...I...I lost everyone...I  _ always  _ lose everyone. My parents. My brother. And then I lost you. Pidge. Shiro. Hunk. Just gone. And I started having these nightmares of you and Hunk and Shiro and Pidge and just  _ everyone  _ telling me that they wanted me gone. That I was a monster. That I was the problem. And I believed them...but I didn’t decide to act on it...until...Allura and Shiro had that fight because of me. Because I wasn’t just fucking up my own life but now Allura and Shiro were going to lose the best thing they’ve ever had because she was trying to help me. I just...it pushed me over the edge I guess.” Lance wants to hug Keith and tell him everything will be okay and that he forgives him. But he doesn’t. He can’t bring himself to forgive him for making and going through with the bet. No matter how many times he says that he fell in love with him or that it was a mistake. He just can’t get over it. “You don’t have to say anything. You can go. Just know that I  _ am  _ sorry” 


	29. All Good (Happy Ending)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi....so I've returned! After, what, 7 months? I'm so sorry that I left for so long. 
> 
> If I'm being honest, it's because my mindset now is so different from when I started this story and it's made it hard to continue writing it. 
> 
> When I started writing this story I felt a lot like Keith has in the past few chapters since Klance broke up (but I didn't have the dramatic background as a reason) When I wrote the suicide attempt and everything I was in a really bad place mentally and it made it really easy to put myself in his shoes. 
> 
> It started with me being too busy with school to write and then by the time I was free enough to write again, I wasn't inspired or motivated. I am honestly in such a better place and I've never been this confident and happy. I am so happy to be in this place in my life BUT it meant that putting myself into Keith's or Lance's minds to write this was not only extremely difficult but sometimes made me remember what it was like to feel that way. 
> 
> For these reasons, I put off writing ANYTHING for months. Also for this reason, I do not think that I can prolong the plot the way I had set out to because I can't bring myself to write it. 
> 
> I had the two endings written out already and I put them into the story without seeming rushed as best as I could but I hope it doesn't seem forced. I am really sorry if this ending disappoints you because honestly I know how much bad endings suck. 
> 
> Please don't hate me ahhh I love you all and thank you so much to those who genuinely cared and asked if I was alright and everything, it means so much to me. 
> 
> As always, leave comments and kudos and thank you for reading ! :)

 

Lance exits the hospital building and starts for Allura’s car. He doesn’t have the keys or anything, not that he’d even want to drive right now.

He can’t breathe right.

His breath is coming in gasps and his vision is less than perfect as he stumbles towards the car. He places his hand on the hood of the car and stares at his feet.

_ White shoes. _

_ Black stripes.  _

_ Black laces.  _

_ Blue jeans. _

Maybe if he could just focus on something simple like colors he could calm down and get himself together. Maybe then he could figure out what he was supposed to do.

His breathing was getting a little better. 

_ Black pavement. _

_ Yellow parking lines. _

He is a fucking high school senior, he’s not supposed to be dealing with this kind of life or death bullshit. He was supposed to be stressed out over college applications that he hasn’t sent out yet and senior projects, not this shit.

His breath hitched once more without permission.

_ Fuck. _

_ Blue shirt. _

_ Green jacket. _

What kind of a person would he be if he didn’t forgive Keith? What kind of person would he be if he  _ did  _ forgive Keith? If he didn’t forgive Keith, he would have whatever Keith did on his conscious and if he did would he ever be able to truly forgive him?

If he forgave him, everyone--including Keith--would think he was an easy target and would walk all over him. If he didn’t Keith would lose another person and Lance would lose the first boy that he’d ever loved--that he still loved. 

_ Am I breathing?  _

_ No.  _

_ Fuck. _

_ I need to breathe.  _

_ God, how can I make big decisions?  _

_ I can’t even fucking breathe on my own.  _

He felt like he was swinging and his brain told him that he needed to get help because he was going to pass out but he couldn’t move.

His head was still laying on the car, staring down at the stripes on his shoes.

The pavement was spinning and blurring as his breathing became increasingly painful. 

He heard the gasp of air escape his lips and the choking noise of a sob that followed it. 

_ Move. _

_ Get help. _

_ You need air. _

_ You need help.  _

His brain was still working at 50 mph, even as his body was failing him. 

_ You need to make a decision. _

_ Don’t pass out.  _

**_I don’t want to lose him._ **

 

Allura watched as Lance stepped away from Keith’s door with unseeing eyes, as he pushed past all the medical staff and headed straight for the stairs, pushing the door open and running out. 

Allura bit her lip-- _ maybe he just needs some air-- _ but something didn’t sit well with her. Lance was a pretty emotional kid from what she’d seen so far. He probably wouldn’t be doing too well. She looked over at Shiro who was with his parents and the doctors and stood up. 

She grasped Shiro’s hand and got his attention, “I’ll be right back” she said before heading towards the stairs where Lance disappeared.

 

As she entered the garage, she wasn’t even sure that Lance would be here but as she moved towards her car she saw Lance leaning against her car, head and hands pressed up on the hood. He wasn’t moving. 

“Lance?” She tried, not wanting to scare him. “Lance? Are you alright?”

No answer came and she stepped closer to him, calling his name again. When he didn’t respond, she raised her hand and placed it on his shoulder. 

The boy recoiled like a spring, jolting away from her and then almost immediately falling to the pavement. Allura couldn’t help the gasp she let out in shock. 

“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry!” She immediately fretted, extending her hand to him to help him up. She met his eyes as she realized he wasn’t reaching for her hand. His eyes were brimmed with tears and he wasn’t looking at her. He shut his eyes tightly for a second and then pulled his hand to his forehead. “Lance? Are you alright?”

“I-I can’t do this. I’m sorry” is all he says before he gets into his car. Allura tries to stop him, grasping for the keys before he gets into the vehicle but Lance is too fast, getting in and locking the door. He’s gone before Allura can do anything more. 

  
  


He’s sick of being monitored and asked if he’s okay every 4 seconds. He would be better if he could just get five minutes of peace. His parents come pick him up and he’s taken home but it doesn’t end. His parents are watching him like hawks and Shiro and Allura are too. He knows they mean well, that they’re only worried, but it’s making him crazy that he can’t hide in his room or at least be alone for a little while. He really just doesn’t want to be here anymore. He knows that his family will never let him have a moment of peace again and he knows that as soon as he goes back to the real world, Macy will be yelling at him for ‘avoiding her’ and everyone will still hate him for the bet. Everything will be the way it’s supposed to be and he knows he deserves it but that doesn’t make him want to be here anymore. 

The nurse had kicked Lance out before he could say anything more, telling him that she needed to do some test or something. Basically, she’d just stabbed a needle into his arm and drew a lot of blood. The nurse had been cold and unfriendly, not even bothering to warn Keith about the needle before stabbing it into his skin. After that, he just wanted to sleep and forget about everything. 

That was two weeks ago. Two weeks since Lance had left him without giving him a real answer--but that probably  _ was  _ the answer, Keith guesses. He probably didn’t know what to say or how to break it to him nicely--because Lance was too nice for his own good--and he thought it was better to just leave it open ended. It hurt a lot to not even know where they stood but Keith assumes it is better than having Lance rip out his heart like he deserves so it’s okay. 

“Keith?” A voice broke through his thoughts. He looked up at the older man standing in the doorway.

Keith’s parents don’t make him go to school those two weeks but he has to go back eventually, they say that he’s missed so much school already and that if he wants to graduate, he has to go. He doesn’t know why they think he still cares about finishing school or any of that shit, he doesn’t even give a fuck about being alive, but they do. But he decides to suck it up and face the day.

 

He knew the day was going to suck just on principle but what he didn’t expect was to enter the lunchroom and have a carton of chocolate milk splashed in his face by a very, very angry Macy Zarkon. When he clears the milk from his eyes, she’s standing in front of him with crossed arms and a very angry pout on her face. 

“Nice to see you too” he places his tray on the table and rub a napkin across his face. He’s not ready to have the conversation, especially this publicly.

“Ever heard of a phone? I’ve been texting and calling you for the past week and a half!” she stomps her foot, which...really? Is she 4?

“Sorry, lost it” Keith shrugs, not looking at her. He doesn’t feel like fighting especially not with her. Not today. 

“Bullshit.” she says and he still doesn’t look at her so she stomps forward, her hand grabbing his chin and forcing him to look at her. “You’re making me look bad” She says through clenched teeth. 

“No, honey. You’re doing that all by yourself” A voice comes through the now gathering crowd. Keith can  _ hear  _ the smirk. 

Macy whips around, her hair smacking Keith’s face in the process, to face Lance. “Shut it, McClain! This doesn’t concern you.”

“Oh, but it very much does concern me. I mean what would we do if you were to break a nail? The future of the universe might be thrown off completely!” Lance smirked as Macy jerked her hand away from Keith’s chin, scratching it slightly. 

“What the fuck do you want? I’m practically doing your work for you, since you’re too pussy to fight him yourself.” 

“How can you fight someone who isn’t fighting back?” Lance raises an eyebrow. “Sounds more like you’re being a...what’s the word? Oh yeah, a bitch.”

Macy steps forward and slaps Lance straight across the face, the sound ringing through the cafeteria as everyone goes silent. “Don’t. Call. Me. That”

The air is tense for a solid moment before Lance raises his gaze to meet her eyes again and smirks again. “Call you what? A manipulative bitch?”

Macy raises her hand again but it’s caught by another hand. An older hand. Everyone in the room simultaneously follows the hand to the arm to the body and then to the face. Principal  Kolivan **.**

“That’ll be enough, Ms. Zarkon.” He puts her hand down. His face is blank, untelling of his emotions but everyone knows that he’s most likely overjoyed to have something to punish Macy for. 

“Principal Kolivan!” Macy’s eyes go wide in horror. “You should have seen what McClain was trying to do to me--!” She begins immediately, her voice going soft, pleading for sympathy. Even when she was caught red handed, she wanted to act innocent.

“Well you’ll have plenty of time to explain it to me. In my office while we wait for your parents.”

“T-that seems unnecessary!” She stumbles. 

“This is not a negotiation. My office. Now.” 

Macy seems to deflate at that and turns towards the office without another word. 

The second the cafeteria doors close, the room erupts with applause and Lance rushes towards Keith where he’s standing in the middle of the circle. Keith looks so confused and Lance can’t help but think how cute he looks like that. 

“W-what?” He stutters out, turning to look at Lance fully. “What just happened?”

“I told Kolivan about Lotor and the Zarkon’s and everything they did. He said he needed to talk to them but that given their track records, they are probably not finishing this year with the rest of us…” Lance shrugged cockily. He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and couldn’t help the smug grin that fell across his face. 

“Why?” Keith furrowed his eyebrows. Keith can’t help but think that he wished he’d had the guts to have done that earlier but his fear of it going bad held him back. “I thought--”

“Look, I thought about everything...and yeah. What you did sucked, big time. But if you hadn’t done it, we might’ve missed the best thing that’s ever happened to us. And..I don’t know...that means more to me than some stupid decision you made in the past. I..I’m going to need some time..to fully get over it...we aren’t going to be the same as we were...but I know you’re sorry and I really cannot imagine my life without you for one more second.”

“So does this mean--?”

Keith’s words were swallowed up as Lance jolted forward, grasping Keith’s chin and pressing his lips against his in one motion. 


	30. Too Late (Sad Ending)

 

Keith picked up the mug from the table, throwing it into the bin tucked under his left arm. People were absolutely disgusting, honestly. This table had so much trash on it, he could probably fill a junkyard. He rolled his eyes before continuing to clear the table. 

All of a sudden, something crashed into his leg, throwing him off balance and knocking him over. He can barely comprehend what happened before he was on the ground. He could hear the sound of a girl’s voice, apologizing profusely. 

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry! Are you okay?!” She had dropped to her knees, picking up something--the pieces of a broken glass, Keith realized. She was young, brown haired, and probably not older than 15 years old. She was rushing, frantically shoving pieces of broken glass into the bin. 

“Hey! Hey!” Keith snapped out of his daze quickly. “It’s fine. Be careful!” He fretted, grabbing her hands to make her stop grabbing the glass. “You’re going to cut yourself.”

With that, she looked up and met his eyes, a small gasp escaping her lips. “Keith?”

His eyebrows furrowed for a moment before the pieces clicked. Lila. 

“Oh my god, Lila. I didn’t even recognize you!” He stood up, placing the bin on the table and the broken glass into the bin. 

“Me neither, you cut your hair!” she exclaimed, reaching for his hair. “I didn’t think you’d actually do it!” 

“Yeah,” Keith trailed awkwardly, “decided it was time for a change…” Truth is the mullet had reminded him of Lance, of “ _ hey mullet.” _

“It looks good…” she drawled, “how long has it been anyway?”

“I think...it’ll be 4 years in a few months.” At Lila’s shocked expression, Keith nodded. “It feels like a lifetime ago.”

“Yeah…” she drawls, “how have you been?” 

Keith was about to say the words, “I’ve been good,” when a person rounded the corner, clearly looking for someone. He stopped when his eyes landed on Lila. 

“Lila, there you are!” the man moved towards them, smiling. It was as he got closer that Keith realized who it was. Lance McClain. “What’re you doing? Making a mess?” He laughed and Keith froze slightly. It’d been 4 years since Keith had seen Lance. Or his smile. Or heard his laugh—god his laugh. 

_ I’m sorry, Keith. _

Lance’s hair was shorter than before, now completely curly. He had some facial hair along his chin--and goddamn if he wasn’t hot before--and he’d clearly gotten more muscular, where he’d been slightly more lanky before. He looked good. 

And here Keith was, busing tables. 

_ I can’t just get over it. Every time I start to think that we could move past this, I second guess if you really mean it or not. _

“Keith.” Lance says, finally looking at him, his eyes widening slightly. His voice is lower too, deeper. “Oh my gosh. Your hair!” Of course, Keith chuckles. “You finally joined this decade!”

Keith scoffs and rubs his hand through his hair, a smirk on his lips. “You’re still annoying, 4 years later.” It comes so  _ easily  _ that it brings back so many memories. Keith’s better now at speaking to people but he’s pretty sure he’ll always be socially awkward and this is probably the first time in years that he’s felt the snark coming so easily. 

Lance smiles and then steps closer. “How’ve you been?” Because this is how they ar--how they  _ were _ . They can go from insulting each other to serious in the blink of an eye. Keith misses it. 

_ I love you but I can’t.  _

“I’ve been good…” he says and he wants to say everything, tell Lance every detail of his life since he last said goodbye to him, but he bites his tongue. He always wants to tell Lance everything first. For a long time after Lance left, Keith still found himself picking up his phone to call or text Lance whenever something happened only to remember just in time to stop himself. 

_ I wish you all the best _

Lance bites his lip awkwardly--even though it’s really not all that awkward, just silent--and looks down. “It’s been a long time”

“4 years…” Keith finishes and Lance nods. He’s suddenly overwhelmed with the need to apologize again. For everything. “Lance--” 

“It’s crazy.” Lance cuts him off, “Looking back on it, everything back then...seems so dumb, doesn’t it?” Lance breathes out a laugh, and Keith’s heart flutters, “the fights and everything...it’s so pointless…” Keith isn’t sure what Lance is getting at. “What...what I’m saying--in like the shittiest way ever--is...I forgive you...I did a while ago...I never told you that and I just wanted...you to know” Lance looks up, looking up through his slight bang at Keith. He looks so young in this moment.

Keith isn’t sure what to say. He never actually expected to be forgiven. To have Lance say these words to him. He figured he would just have to live with what he did and die knowing that he did something horrible. Hearing this made him feel lighter in a way that he didn’t know he needed. 

Keith is silent for a moment before he finally decides what to say. “...Lance...do you, I don’t know, want to--”

“Pretty Boy!” A voice calls out from behind Lance and Lance turns on his heel to look at the guy standing at the counter. He’s brunette, clean cut, muscular, tall and good looking. “Everything okay?” It’s in this moment that Keith remembers where he is and what he’s doing. He’s a  _ bus boy  _ and a college student. He’s not in high school anymore. He realizes that Lila has not been standing with them for what he assumes is a long time. He realizes that he was just about to ask Lance out. He realizes that this person--who calls Lance ‘pretty boy’--is  _ with  _ Lance. He realizes how much this hurts. 

“Yeah, I’ll be right there,  _ mom. _ ” Lance smiles at the guy and laughs, the guy rolls his eyes but laughs too. Keith looks from the guy and then to Lance--who’s smiling now in a different way. The way he used to smile for Keith. The way that used to--still did-- make his stomach turn and his heart soar. The way that makes his eyes crinkle and his cheeks He’s smiling and he looks  _ so. Fucking. Happy.  _ And it hurts. It honest to God hurts Keith deeply to see that look on Lance’s face for someone else. 

“I-I’m sorry, what were you saying?” And Lance is still smiling as he turns back to Keith, who shakes his head slightly and throws on a smile. 

“Uh, nothing….I’ll let you go, you have people waiting on you.” The fake smile hurts to keep up. “But it was great to see you. You...you look great.” Keith throws in the compliment for good measure and keeps the beaming smile on his face. 

“You too” Lance says in a way that means so much to Keith, though he couldn’t explain why if you asked him. Lance smiles and looks at Keith, their eyes locking for a second. Keith feels like he’s 17 again. He feels like he’s dumb and in love all over again. Just from a look. But then Lance is coughing and breaking the contact, flashing a smile. “Anyway, I should go. I’ll see you around?”

“Y-yeah” Keith stutters out. Lance turns and looks back at him once more before beginning to walk away. It’s after 3 steps that Keith opens his mouth. “Hey, Lance?” The other boy turns to face him, an eyebrow raised. 

“You look happy” 

Lance smiled widely. 

“I hope you are too.” 

And then he was gone, leaving Keith with the broken glass. 


	31. A/N

hi so after reading some comments, i realize i was really bad at clarifying something. The last two chapters are different endings. Chapter 29 is the good and Chapter 30 is the bad. I'm sorry I didn't clarify!


End file.
